“Uh…” He let out an awkward laugh that was adorable. “As long as you know that it’s a complete disaster. I’ve got a lot of work to do for it to be decent.”
“I don’t mind if you don’t.” I could understand if he didn’t want to show me. With hopes of swaying him, I added, “Though you have seen my current mess.”
“Okay. If you’re sure. It’s not that big a deal.”
“It is because it’s yours,” I told him. Perhaps it was silly, but I meant it. I wanted whatever little parts of Maverick that I could get. I wanted to cling to them as long as I could.
I knew this wasn’t sustainable, and I knew it was incredibly selfish. But logic stopped mattering where Maverick was involved. It was hard to think about the consequences when a single touch from him could bring me more peace than anything else in my life. I hadn’t realized just how starved I was for it until I found it with him.How pathetic was that?
CHAPTER 65
maverick
In theory, I was proud of my house. It was something I’d done for myself and all by myself. But the idea of showing Harley the broken-down thing I’d bought made me second-guess ever bringing it up.
I knew it had everything to do with how drastically different our lifestyles were. I could say I was okay with his money all I wanted, but that didn’t take away the deeply seated feeling that had taken root inside me long before Harley and I were friends.
The square footage of my entire house was a fraction of his. I liked it for its potential. I hated the idea that he might judge me for it. That he’d look down on the little house that I’d bought for myself as something unworthy.Or at least unworthy of him.For something that had barely started, I put a lot of stock in what Harley thought about it.
“Here we go,” I said loudly as I shut the door behind us. “I know it’s not a lot…”
My voice trailed off, fading as Harley wandered through what would eventually be the living room area, which was empty minus the crappy mattress I sometimes slept on. The house was a mostly gutted mess with good bones and a solid foundation, but I had a vision for it.Eventually, I’d get it there.
His silence was torture as he took his time.
“Will you tell me about it?” Harley asked.
“What?” I frowned, not sure what he wanted from me.
“I’m assuming you plan to put the walls back up,” he joked.
“No, I’m going for a true open everything plan,” I said, matching his snark. I shoved my hands in my pockets as I started walking him through the house. “I do plan on keeping it an open plan, though, to have as much space as I can. I want to put a half bar in here, just to separate the kitchen from the living room a little bit.”
“A bar?” he repeated. I could see the wheels in his head turning as he said it.
That was fair. I’d walked right into that one.
“It’s not an actual bar. It’s more of a half wall, but instead of just leaving it a wall, I’m going to build a countertop on it, so it’s usable, even if it’s just for like… Christmas decorations or something.” Truthfully, I hadn’t figured out what I was going to do with it. I just knew I didn’t want it to be just a wall. I glanced at Harley for some kind of reaction, but he was merely nodding his head along. I couldn’t help but wonder if he could picturewhat I saw. “I want to knock out the wall between those two windows and build a bay window with a seat.”
The front of the house faced the beach. My lawn was a hilly mixture of beaten-down grass, rocks, and sand. With a little bit of work, I could level out the landscape closest to the house and give myself a decent view of the lake. The long-term plan included a porch so I could sit outside. Maybe I’d watch the sunset or something.
To be honest, I hadn’t thought about what I’d do when the house was done. It seemed too far out in the future to plan for.I didn’t do well with long-term planning.Nothing in my life had ever been stable enough for long-term planning.
“There are two bedrooms down the hall. I was planning to turn one into an office or something, but I guess maybe now I’ll turn it into a guest room or a playroom or something in case Roxy needs help with her kid.”
Yeah, I was still wrapping my head around that one. Her whole damn family had been present when she told them, while I stood awkwardly in the corner. Honestly, I’d expected to have my ass chewed out—like somehow Aidan’s mistake was mine too. I hadn’t expected her family to be so grateful for taking care of her.Or so welcoming.
I’d expected to be yelled at and shoved to the side. That made sense to me. Being pulled into family planning and then dessert didn’t. I wasn’t even going to get started on the fact that they’d invited me back for dinner.
“I know it’s not much, but…” I shrugged as I trailed off. Rotating in a small circle to face him, I found him watching me with an expression that stripped me raw. I cared way too much about what he thought. “I know I have to put a lot of work into it, and honestly, I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish it anytime soon. It’s a project, and what I can do is based on what I can make to fund it, so it’ll be a mess for a while—”
With a few quick strides, Harley cut me off, his hands framing my face as he kissed me. I caved instantly and fisted the sides of his shirt to pull him closer. The warmth of his body against mine was a comfort I’d never be able to find elsewhere. It made my skin buzz pleasantly.
“I’m proud of you,” he whispered against my mouth. Something warm flared to life in my chest. Four little words never meant so much. He kissed me again before adding, “I’m happy for you, Mav.”
“It’s not much—”
Another kiss to shut me up.It wasn’t quite the same as me interrupting his panic attack with a kiss, but I wasn’t opposed to it either.
