Just the sight of him, alone, without my brother beside him, made my heart rate pick up. Static hummed beneath my skin.
Sure, I was hoping for this, but now he was actually there…
You’ve got this.
Gathering what little courage I had, I edged closer to the sofa, hesitating.
My steps were muted by the rug, and yet somehow, Duncan noticed me coming. I wasn’t ten feet away when he looked over his shoulder.
His gaze skimmed from my pajamas to my face, steady and appreciative.
My toes curled into the rug. All I managed was, “Hey.”
“Hey,” he said back and patted the cushion beside him.
On uncertain legs, I moved over to the sofa and did as he said, sitting a careful distance away. My lips tingled as we studied each other for long moments that felt like a lifetime.
Then he shook his head, half amused.
“What?”
“Here.” He surprised me by handing over the remote. “Put on whatever you want. I’m going to the kitchen to grab us a snack. What would you like?”
I nearly melted then and there.
Somehow, I pulled myself together and whispered, “Peanut butter and crackers.”
His smile warmed me from the inside out before he disappeared into the kitchen. It widened when he returned to find that I’d put on a rerun ofI Dream of Jeannie.
Then we had our snack and watched the show in complete silence until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore, no matter how hard I tried to make that night last forever.
Those rare moments when I wasn’t someone’s daughter or someone’s sister were magical. I didn’t have to shrink, adjust, or perform.
Thanks to Duncan, I was just a girl on a sofa, and he was a boy who paid attention.
I won’t cry. I won’t cry.
I will. Not. Cry.
“Oh. Um, thanks.” I bite my lip, hard. The sting helps keep the tears at bay. “Everything you make is delicious. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Thank you.” The corners of Mary’s lips tick up.
When she doesn’t leave, I ask, “What’s going on?”
“I heard you earlier.” She gives me a look full of empathy. “It sounded like you might need someone to be here for you. So, if that’s all right, I’ll stay here. Just to see if you might need me.”
The way she says it makes me think she might not fully approve of what Duncan is doing either. Maybe she’s hoping he’ll stop playing these games too. That the real him will push through the thick walls he’s built around himself and find true happiness.
And that means she’s a good person. One who doesn’t deserve my sulking.
I swallow everything else I want to say, square my shoulders, and step over to the bed where the box lies. My hands stay steady as I lift the lid and peel back the tissue.
As I do, I wish, stupidly, that it’s a real dress. Or lounge clothes.
I pray that at the bottom there’ll be a note sayingI crossed a line. I want to talk. To start over.
That hope shatters the moment I takeitin.
