My face crumples.
If only Duncan had stuck around…
My shoulders sag. Yeah, I don’t doubt that Duncan wouldn’t have let Barclay’s spiral get that far. He would’ve been there to get my brother out of trouble, like he had so many times.
And I’d thank him for it, on my knees, doing things I never did but always fantasized about. As his wife.
The dirty images silence the pain, sending familiar heat down my stomach and between my legs. Just as fast, shame strikes me like a slap across the face.
He never wanted me.
Worse still, it’s my fault he isn’t here.
I can’t hate him, though.
First, because my heart won’t let me.
Second, because I gave him my word.
“Promise me you’ll remember the good things about me.”
I want him back. So much.
I don’t. I don’t.I don’t.
The words play on repeat in my head for the rest of the ride. Their whispers linger, even as I walk out into the night air, my sneakers silent with each step I take toward home, the same route as always.
Except tonight isn’t like any other night. Something isn’t right.
The hair at the back of my neck stands up. The prickling sensation of being watched, the scent from the hospital, they’re back.
What’s going on?
Nothing. You’re imagining this.
That’s right. I’m being paranoid. I laugh at myself, sounding as tired as I feel, and keep walking.
By the time I make it to our home, my swollen feet ache. My muscles scream for relief as I reach for the keys in my messenger bag.
I gaze up at my dark room, fantasizing about a shower. About my bed.
But when I slip my key into the lock, I find out the night has other plans for me.
“What’s this?” My palm opens, leaving the key fixed in place.
The streetlight casts just enough light for me to make out an envelope wedged between the rusty bars of the wrought-iron gate.
My heart stutters. Stops.
Right before it races ahead at an impossible speed.
It punches my chest while sweat beads on my forehead. While my hands tremble.
“No.” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Please, don’t let it be an eviction notice.”
We’re months behind on our semiannual property taxes, but I had to prioritize the utilities. Our food.
Endless nights, I’ve lost sleep over it, bracing for a moment like this to arrive.
