There they are. The words she’d been trained to say. The ones she never should’ve uttered and never will.
“Stop lying to me, Elowyn.”
“I’m not.”
“Listen to me and listen to me carefully.” I force my raging pulse down. Clear my throat. “You weren’t fine. You needed someone on your side. And I…I should’ve spoken up. Been less of a goddamn coward, using the dogs as an excuse to visit your room. Shouldn’t have slept in the hall at night while you thought no one cared. I failed you.”
“Duncan, between grieving your parents and school, you had a lot going on.” Her determination silences me. “You can’t blame yourself.”
“The hell I can’t.” Leaning forward, I take Elowyn’s lips in a searing kiss. “I fucked up. If I’d only tried harder…”
Though the rest of the sentence dies on my tongue, its meaning echoes loudly in the room.
You wouldn’t have been so alone. And me, I would’ve seen you for who you truly were. How you were always on my side.
“You needed me,” I repeat as we look deeper into each other’s eyes. “And I’d been a selfish prick for years. But those days are over. I swear to you.”
“No, you were right to stay away. To not risk everything. Then…then you were right to be angry.” A line forms between her eyebrows. Her defiance is fucking hot. Even when she’s wrong. “It was my fault. I should’ve called, should’ve told you there was no reason to be disgusted, that we’d done nothing wrong and?—”
“Don’t repeat it.Ever,” I snap. “Nothing about you disgusts me.”
“That’s what I thought back then…” She huffs, sounding so fucking sad. “Stupid. I should’ve checked in on you. I should’ve texted. Should’ve fought for us.”
“You were a kid.” I roll us again, ending on my back with Elowyn straddling me, my arms closing around her. “And I was fine.”
She scoffs. “Who’s the liar now?”
God, she’s cute. I start laughing, and she joins me. The sounds of our joy light up the bedroom. The entire world, it seems like.
We laugh until the wind begins to blow outside and clouds gather in the sky.
Until lightning flashes and thunder cracks.
Until rain patters against the window.
Until there’s no her or I.
There’s only us.
“Let’s take a shower, then get you that coffee, little moon,” I whisper into her soft hair. “And your breakfast.”
Elowyn squeezes me in a tight hug. “Ours.”
22
ELOWYN
Arap on the door tears me from my daydreaming.
“Miss Montgomery?” Mary calls from the hall. She doesn’t enter without asking anymore, at Duncan’s new request. I suspect she’s more relieved by that than I am. “I have your lunch. May I come in?”
As well as we’ve been getting along lately, I don’t want Mary or anyone else in our bedroom.
I want Duncan, and he won’t be home for hours. He’s delivering the last project he worked on in person.
I know he had to go, but still. This place, my life, and even my loose jeans and T-shirt—none of it feels right without him.
It’s only been a little over a week since I moved into his room, and I’m already spoiled.
