Drew went upstairs to his bedroom, Gabriel staying respectfully downstairs. Neither was sure about where this was going physically or intimately. Part of Drew wanted to throw aside their plans for the day, bring Gabriel to his bedroom, and make love to him all day. He had a strong feeling that they would be physically compatible, but he also didn’t want to rush things. In the grand scheme of things, they didn’t have a long time together, just the rest of June, July, and August. Even though that only added up to a handful of weeks, Drew wanted to savor all of them.
He changed into a pair of striped swim trunks and went back downstairs. Gabriel had packed beach supplies in his bag, and Drew filled a cooler with things for their picnic, including a bottle of white wine and an ice pack to keep it cold. It would be a good day.
Gabriel volunteered to drive because he knew the area.
“If you don’t mind driving in a peasant car like mine,” he joked.
“I prefer it,” Drew admitted. “And it’s not a peasant car.”
Gabriel had a Jeep Grand Cherokee, maybe a decade and a half old, though he clearly kept it in good condition. It was clean and smelled like air freshener. They rolled the windows down while they drove. Gabriel plugged his phone in and told Drew he could choose the music. Drew stuck with the musical theme of the morning, picking an album by Patti Smith, and Gabriel sang quietly along.
“You’re surprising for a hockey player,” Gabriel said when they were out of Orion, heading north towards Turtle Dunes State Park, which he told Drew was about five miles outside the town’s limits.
“How so?” Drew said with a small smile.
“I suppose I expect the stereotypical dumb jock from a hockey player,” Gabriel admitted. “That’s unfair of me, I guess.”
“It’s not untrue about some of my teammates.”
“You’re very interesting. You read, and you cook, and you have an open mind about the world. I like that.”
“I’m trying to have a more open mind about the world. You’ve helped with that, already.”
“Are you out to any of your teammates?”
Drew was silent for a moment. He hadn’t told anyone else about Quentin, but this was his chance to share and get it off his chest. It had been weighing painfully on him ever since it had happened. He hadn’t had the chance to process it, and he feared that it would eat away at him if he didn’t get it out.
“One of them does,” he said quietly.
Gabriel glanced briefly over at him, then looked back at the road for safety.
“I’ve told you I came up here to get away,” Drew said. “I wanted to get away from the busyness of the city, and I needed space to recover from my injury.” He smiled wryly, without humor. “My knee wasn’t the only thing hurt during the Crawford Cup Final.”
Gabriel was respectfully quiet while Drew got his thoughts in order. Gabriel navigated the roads easily, keeping the forested landscape of Michigan to their right and the ocean-like Lake to their left.
“I was in a relationship of sorts with one of my teammates,” Drew said after a long pause. “We’re both closeted. The relationship was mostly sex, if I’m being honest, but it was good sex, and it was fun. I fell for him, and I think he fell for me. When I raised the idea of us being more than just sexual partners, he turned me down. He was very certain about saying no, and…well, he was harsh about it.”
Drew didn’t like to show it, but he was a sensitive person. The way Quentin had so abruptly ended things hurt, especially because he was almost certain Quentin had felt the same way about Drew as Drew felt about him.
“I suggested we make things more official and public on the day of the Crawford Cup Final,” Drew said. Emotion made his voice catch. “He said no, and that was one of the reasons I was so distracted during the game. I don’t blame him for my injury, but the breakup meant I wasn’t in a good headspace during the game. I can usually compartmentalize my thoughts and put personal stuff aside when I’m on the ice, but I couldn’t that day. It was too hard, especially with him being on the team with me.”
“I’m very sorry,” Gabriel said. If he was surprised or overwhelmed by what Drew had shared, he didn’t show it. He was remarkably mature and gracious.
“I guess I came here hoping to think about it and to move on. I’ll have to go back next season and see him every day.”
“Do you think that will be hard?” Gabriel turned left off the road, following a long drive to a parking lot. The road had taken them up on a long sloping hill, and now they were in the outskirts of the State Park. Drew could see the beginnings of the dunes.
“I guess it depends on how I’m feeling at the end of the summer,” Drew said. “I’m trying not to think about that yet, but just take it one day at a time.”
“That’s all you can do.” Gabriel parked beside another Jeep. They rolled up the windows and got out. The day was shaping up to be a pleasantly warm one. The sky was perfectly blue, without a single cloud. There was a gentle breeze coming off the Lake, occasionally sending a lace of sand through the air. They decided to leave the picnic cooler in the car for now and walked side by side out of the parking lot, headed towards the long stretch of sand.
To the north of the parking lot, the sand rose up in a series of grassy hills, stretching all the way to the wooded hills that blended into the northern forests of Michigan.
To the south, the sand sloped down, thick with dune grass and signs cautioning tourists to keep off the grass.
To the west, the dunes rippled dramatically, looking ancient and almost holy. They were steep, and Drew couldn’t see where they sloped down towards the water, but he could see the endless expanse of Lake Michigan.
It was magical up here. He knew, now, exactly what Gabriel meant about the barrier between the supernatural world and the natural world being thinner here.
