My skin, bare and exposed, met something soft beneath me. The hands that had moved me vanished. Only then did my body begin to loosen, sinking into the mattress like it had permission to rest again.
***
The world wasn’t as dim the next time I became aware. It was bright, but not enough to tell me what time it was.
I was warm, sweat sticking to my front as whatever I lay on moved up and down.
I didn’t dare move, barely dared to breathe and keep my body as lax as possible.
Something told me that I shouldn’t be aware; I should still be in between of wherever life and death existed.
There were low voices, and I decided that it’d take much effort to figure out what was being said.
It wasn’t towards me, I didn’t think. If so, I didn’t care at that moment.
All I wanted was to sink back into the dark. The kind that swallowed everything —thoughts, pain, memory. There, I could be safe. No orders. No eyeswatching. No ache that made breathing feel like punishment.
Each inhale stretched the torn muscles in my back, pulling at places that shouldn’t hurt but did.
My shoulder pulsed with a deep, steady throb, like something buried inside refused to let go.
And still, I breathed. Because I hadn’t been given permission to stop.
The thing I laid on moved, then settled once more.
Squinting my eyes closed, I feared to move. Feared to let anyone know I was at least mentally aware.
I had no idea where I was. Not like it mattered, because whatever Alpha’s care I was under would only end in more pain.
“Please come back to me.” The voice was barely more than a whisper, fragile, trembling. It was laced with sorrow and fear, it sank into me like water into cracked stone.
I didn’t move. But the words stayed.
Heavy.
Unshakable.
Like they belonged somewhere deeper than my skin.
A moment later, the softest touch landed in my hair before petting me. It was at odds with the pain that coursed through my veins.
I didn’t deserve any time of kindness.
I sniffed, tears not really stopping clogged my nose once again.
“Moore…”
More?More what? Were they going to make me take more punishment? Hadn’t I had enough already?
I was lost in thought, chasing the meaning of that one word—trying to hold onto it, make sense of it. Then something cold burned its way into my veins. It crawled up my arm, sharp and unnatural.
Before my mind could catch up, before I could name the sensation, the pain vanished. Just like that. Leaving behind a strange emptiness, like something had been taken without permission.
***
My awareness snapped back the moment I felt the cold seat beneath me. The chill jolted through my skin, sharp enough to make me shiver.
I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn’t budge. They were sealed shut, like they’d forgotten how to respond. Light flickered behind my lids, distant and unreachable.
