For now, as I laid on my back, Charles close enough to wrap his arm around my own arm, body pressed tight against my limb, I breathed in deep and let out the air slowly.
In the morning, things would change. Limits would be crossed, and doubts could flow back in. But right now, I basked in the small things, like having an Omega seeking me out when I was scared to do it myself.
Chapter 17
Charlie
The warmth of the blanket pressed against my skin. But it wasn’t the blanket that pulled me under. It was the silence. And silence had never been safe.
The memory came uninvited. It was sharp, sudden, whole.
A dim hallway with the scent of bleach and something artificial.
A handler’s voice, clipped and bored: “Room four. He’s ready.”
I was sixteen. Or maybe seventeen. Old enough to know what was expected. Young enough to still hope someone might stop it.
I remembered the way the door clicked shut behind me. The way the handler didn’t speak. Just gestured. Like I was furniture. Like I was a service.
I remembered the cold floor beneath my knees. The way I stared at the baseboard, counting the chips in the paint to stay grounded.
One. Two. Three.
I remembered the rule: don’t speak unless asked.
Don’t look unless told.
Don’t feel.
Especially that.
The memory didn’t last long. Just enough to leave a mark. Just enough to remind me why silence still made my chest tighten.
I shifted slightly in the bed, the present tugging me back.
The Alpha hadn’t moved. He was still there, breathing steadily beside me.
I let out a slow breath. Not to forget, but to remind myself that this wasn’t then. And I wasn’t alone. At least, not for the long dark hours of this one single night.
I wasn’t even sure what drew me to the Alpha’s room exactly. Maybe it was the dark. Maybe it was the fear of the unknown. Or maybe it was the loneliness.
All of that wasn’t unfamiliar. They were, after all, my best friends. But something about it all was at the surface, trying to weigh me down.
Even as Alpha Harris slept beside me, my mind still couldn’t rest. I knew, without a shadow of doubt, that when the sun came up, it’d only be a matter of time before Alpha Vale would summon me back to his property, as though I was nothing more but an art piece.
Whatever client wanted me, would get me. I wouldn’t get a say in it, just like I was taught to expect. Life was a great teacher, even though I hated it.
I hated knowing what waited for me. The inevitability of being pulled back into a life where my choices didn’t belong to me. Where every decision was made for someone else’s comfort.
Not mine.
I wanted to hate the Alpha beside me. Wanted to resent him for the kindness he offered so freely—kindness I hadn’t earned, didn’t know how to accept.
I wanted to hate him for giving me something soft. Something I could learn to enjoy, if I let myself. And I hated him most for letting me see an old friend.
I wiped the last tears from my eyes, slow and deliberate. They wouldn’t fall again. Not here. Not in front of him.
No one got to see the sadness. No one got to read me the way Alpha Harris did. And that terrified me. Because I wasn’t supposed to be readable.
