I didn’t speak right away. The words sat heavy in my chest, like they’d been waiting for permission to surface.
His hand was still in my hair, steady, patient and somehow, that made it harder to ignore the ache behind my ribs.
“I don’t know what safety feels like,” I said quietly. The words came out raw, almost brittle.
The Lockswell House wasn’t safe, not really. I may be safe from people who wanted to hurt me, butthey still got to me either way. I’ve been hurt there, almost to the point of death.
“I know how to survive. I know how to stay quiet, how to move without being noticed. I know how to make myself small.” I swallowed, eyes fixed on the floor. “But this—” I gestured faintly, not even lifting my hand. “This stillness. This quiet. It doesn’t feel real.” The touch alone couldn’t be real. It wasn’t hurting. Alpha Harris wasn’t yelling or using me. He didn’t interrupt. Didn’t try to fix it. And that, more than anything, made me want to keep talking.
“Everyone always hurts me. Either with their hands or words. Most of the time it’s both. There’s never any escape from it. I’m trained to be what any Alpha wants; that’s all I know. But this.” Again I motion to whatever was happening here, my words flowing too well which was very unlike me, “It scares me. I don’t know how to serve you, Sir. You aren’t like the others.”
He wasn’t what I expected. Sure, there was still plenty of time to change that, though. Alpha Harris could easily show his hand, demanding my full submission in a matter of seconds. He could so easily hit me, use me, or degrade me if he so wished.
And I wouldn’t be able to do a single thing against it.
I dropped my eyes to my lap, hands twisting against one another.
“Look at me, boy.”
I did. I did look up, I wasn’t sure what I’d find, but it wasn’t anything like what others had looked at me before.
“I’m a kind man, Charles. I don’t want to cause you pain. I want an Omega to tend to, just as the Omega is to tend to my needs, also. But with it, comes communication and trust.”
I didn’t even trust myself.
“Trust takes time on both partners, and I don’t expect that to be easy for you. But moments just like this, is what I crave the most.”
His hand traced along my hairline again, slow and deliberate, before settling to cup my face. His palm cradled my chin, lifting it gently until I had no choice but to meet his gaze.
I wanted to look away. Every instinct told me to. But I didn’t. Couldn’t.
His eyes held mine, steady and unreadable.
“I’ll enjoy your company, sweet boy,” he said, voice low, almost tender. “I won’t harm you.” He leaned in, close enough that his breath brushed my cheek, the next words meant only for me. “Instead… I’m going to show you what it feels like to be kept without fear.”
The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was a promise. And I didn’t know what to do with that.
His words lingered in the air, soft and deliberate.
Kept without fear.
I wanted to believe him, but belief didn’t come easy. Not after everything. Not after the first time I was off the Lockswell property. Not after all the clients that said they only wanted to play, and ended up leaving lasting welts on my body.
I stayed still, letting his hand remain where it was, letting the warmth of it settle against my skin.
But inside, something twisted. Not panic. Not resistance. Just doubt. The kind that had been carved into me over time—slowly, until it felt like truth.
People didn’t keep me. They used me. They tolerated me. then, they’d return to do it all over again. And then the system would just repeat.
I didn’t answer him. Not with words but with silence. Because I didn’t know how to say, “I want to believe you,”without also saying, “I don’t know how.”
And somehow, I think he understood that too.
“It’s okay to not talk, or talk however much you want. I’ll listen either way. Sometimes,” Alpha Harris dropped his hand, setting it on his thigh. “Sometimes, the silence speaks more than words ever could.”
It took a moment for me to drop my eyes from his face. His words spoke more than anything else ever could.
It was in the silence where my thoughts got the best of me.
