Vincent didn’t speak right away. But he didn’t look away either.
“Interpreting perspective. What would that look like to you? Would it be something you’d want to do out in public or just something at home, between the two of us?”
My eyes widened. I couldn’t stop the reaction.
“Seeing things like that is normal.” I chose my words wisely.
“At Lockswell, yes. Not so much in the real world. But there are ways to do it where others don’t notice as much. Like having a leash wrapped around your wrist while we are at the store, and you are kept close. No one would think anything out of the ordinary was happening.”
“I’d like to have it yellow, to try it at least.” Like right now, I thought. It sounded like a way to serve Sir without having to kneel. But in front of Adrian, that wouldn’t feel like my space.
“Yellow it is. Next item, forced silence.”
My stomach tightened. I’d marked it red without any hesitation.
“No one ever cared if I spoke,” I said quietly. “But when they did… they made sure I regretted it. Being told not to speak wasn’t about being quiet. It was about erasure. Like I didn’t exist unless they wanted something.” I felt my throat tighten. “I don’t want that here. I don’t want to be silenced. Not even in play.” I enjoyed being able to speak freely here, for the most part.
Vincent just nodded. “Agree one hundred percent. Orgasm control.”
I felt heat rise in my chest—not shame, just awareness. I’d marked it yellow. Not because I feared it.Because I didn’t know what it meant outside of punishment.
“At Lockswell, it was used to break us,” I said quietly. “To prove they owned our bodies. That pleasure wasn’t ours to keep.” I paused, grounding myself in the present. I wasn’t allowed to touch myself unless an Alpha said I could. “But I don’t think that’s what it means here. Not with you.”
I looked up, just for a second.
“I marked it yellow because I want to understand it. I want to know what it feels like when it’s about care. Not control.”
“Orgasm control isn’t about punishment here. It’s about connection.” His voice was steady, like he’d rehearsed this, not for performance, but for precision. “It can mean holding you at the edge, not to tease or torment, but to keep you present. To show you that your pleasure matters. That’s not something taken. It’s something given, when you’re ready.”
I felt my chest tighten in something closer to hope.
Vincent continued, “It can also mean permission. You ask. I say yes. Not because I own you—but because you trust me to guide you.” He paused, letting the words settle. “And if it ever feels like control in the wrong way, if it ever echoes what they did, it stops. No questions. No hesitation.”
I nodded slowly.
“I enjoy that the most out of a slave/master relationship. I like the thrill of knowing I can bring my partner pleasure.”
“I…the time I got to get off, it never felt good.” Shame filled me for an unwanted reason I couldn’t name. “It was always forced by the handlers, then the client. It was okay, but didn’t feel like it was the best thing.”
“Which is, again, normal.” Vincent’s gaze didn’t leave mine. “If you haven’t noticed yet, I wasn't hard either time you kept me warm. It takes an emotional connection for that part of me to wake up, and even then, it doesn’t always work the way most do. There’s so many other ways to bring pleasure to each other.”
I hadn’t noticed, but it was a good fact to know about.
“Now, when I do have that connection with my partner, I like to make sure that they are taken care of first more often than not. My pleasure comes second.”
“What if I want it first?” I shocked myself with the question.
“Then be sure to tell me that and I’ll do my best to make it happen.”
Really? Was it that easy? Not that I was brave enough to ask for his pleasure to take over my own, because Alphas always got their fill first.Always.
“Unlike all those clients you had, I don’t want just sex from you. Or even at all. I just wantyou. Your thoughts, words, and actions.”
Was it possible to be killed with kindness?
“Alright, next item.” He cleared his throat and turned back to the page. “Corner time.”
I’d marked it green.
