“Take your time,” he added, nodding toward the winding path through the flowers. “I’ll be on that bench if you need me.” He pointed to a shaded spot beneath a tree. “Mom might come out too, if she notices we’re here.”
I managed a small nod, tearing my gaze away from the stone even though it felt like it tugged at me. Like it didn’t want to be left behind. Like it knew me. Like a part of me was here that I never knew about.
I stood after a moment as Evander walked away. The letters on the stone blurred and eventually my feet moved on their own.
Not towards Evander. But deeper.
The garden path curved gently, lined with soft green leaves that swayed in the slight breeze. The air smelt earthy and warm. Like another piece ofhome.
Lockswell had a garden, but I never got to be put on duty there. The handlers always thought I needed more training instead of learning things to benefit my service outside of the bedroom.
The blue flowers followed me along the edge of the path, scattered in small clusters. Every time I passed one, it felt like pieces of a puzzle I should’ve known how to solve.
I reached a small clearing near the back, where the sunlight filtered through the branches overhead in soft, broken patches. More flowers grew here, white ones, pinks ones, and a few deep purples. But my gaze kept drifting back to the blue.
Something flickered in my mind. A laugh. A hand reaching down. A voice calling my name.
I stopped walking, my fingers brushing the tops of the flowers as if touching them might steady me. But it didn’t. It only made the ache sharper.
My eyes drifted over the white littles, and there on the ground was another sone. Smaller than the first, less polished. Worn at the edge like it had been here longer.
I hesitated. Part of me wanted to turn back, pretend I hadn’t seen it. But my feet carried me forward, slow and steady until I was close enough to read the words.
Baby Girl
Jan 10. 2000
Gone before we got to hold you.
A soft ache bloomed in my chest. Not sharp. Just…sad.
I didn’t know this person. I didn’t know their story. But the care in the carving, the flowers planted around it, the way the sunlight fell just right. It all told me enough.
This wasn’t just a place of beauty. It was a place of memory. A place of grief.
Of Love.
I glanced back towards where Evander sat on the bench. He wasn’t watching me, not directly, but his posture was open, waiting if I needed him.
I turned back to the stone, letting my fingers rest against it for a moment longer.
This family had lost so much. Yet, they kept remembering. They kept living.
How many more of these rocks were placed here? Would I ever be able to find them all, if I tried? Did I even want to try it?
I wandered deeper once more, past the colors and the second memorial stone. I kept my eyes out for other ones, spotting some hidden under certain flowers, like they were tucked away to be remembered. I didn’t bother to look at them, not sure if I wanted to know who these people were. What they meant to Evander at one point in time.
The pull towards the first stone never let go. It tugged me with every step I took.
A whisper, a memory I couldn’t reach. A feeling I didn’t have words for.
Before I knew it, my feet were carrying me back along the path, past the lavender past the blue flowers that made my breath catch.
Back tohim.
The stone waited in the sunlight, small, and simple. The carved flower caught the light like it was glowing.
I didn’t understand the pull. I didn’t understand the secret memory that was attached to it.
