For a moment, Kasey lay there, breathing. One hand rubbed slow circles between his shoulder blades, giving him all the time he needed.
Then I felt it. A small shift. A tightening of his fingers in my shirt and a small breath that hitched.
“Kasey?” I murmured, not pushing, just letting him know I was here, listening.
He swallowed hard, his throat working against my collarbone. “I…I- “
The sound was barely there; a whisper scrapped raw. He wasn’t panicking, at least. This was just him trying. Reaching. Fighting his way towards something he wasn’t sure he was allowed to say.
I eased my hold just enough so he could lift his head if he wanted, but he stayed there, tucked against me.
“It’s okay. Take your time. You don’t have to rush.”
His breath shuddered again. “I…didn’t meant….to- “
He stopped, voice breaking on nothing.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He shook his head, a tiny frantic movement. “I…I made…trouble.”
“No, you didn’t. You didn’t make any trouble. You didn’t upset anyone. You did nothing wrong.”
“But…he…saw…”
“You’re back?” He nodded once. “He’s seen them already, sweetheart. He knew they were there. And why would you be in trouble with that? You didn’t put the marks there yourself. All he did was check to make sure they were healing as they should be.”
It felt as though he wanted to argue, but instead kept his mouth shut. Which was good, because his scars and marks weren’t his own doing.
“You were so good. You didn’t panic,” I soothed, not once stopping my hand from drawing light circles along his back. “So very good. I think you deserve a reward. What do you think?”
“A…reward?” His voice cracked. “No…. thank…you.”
“I’m assuming rewards at Lockswell weren’t something you enjoyed?”
“No.” A quick shake of his head. “They…. they wouldforceme to…. cum….as rewards. I …. No, thanks. I don’t like rewards.”
“Okay,” I soothed, pressing another kiss to the top of his head. “What about…what is somethingyou’dlike?”
For a moment, he went very still in my arms. Not frozen with fear, just startled. Like the question itself was foreign. Like no one had ever asked him that before.
A soft bewildered sound escaped from him, barely breathing. He shifted just enough so that I could feel the tremor running through him.
“I…” His voice cracked, the word dissolving before it fully formed.
“It doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just something you want. Anything.”
He shook his head against my chest. “I don’t…. I don’t know what I’m allowed to- “
“You’re allowed to want things.”
Another tremor. Another breath that hitched like it hurt. Whatever he wanted and desired, I’d get him. Even if it was big and pricey.
He tried again, voice barely there. “I…don’t…know how.”
Of course he didn’t.
I rested my cheek against his hair, letting him feel the steadiness in my breathing. “Then we’ll figure it out together. You don’t have to know right now. You don’t have to decide anything. Let…let yourself think about it. That’s enough.”
