“I’m fine, Sir.” The moment the answer left my mouth, my whole body went still, breath caught in my throat.
“Kasey….” Evander’s voice held a soft warning as he sat on the edge. “Don’t lie to me.”
Heat crawled up my neck. I dropped my gaze to my toes, the safest place to look and forced myself to try again, carefully, choosing words that wouldn’t get stuck in my throat this time.
“I’m…not great.” It was barely above a whisper. “But I can manage.”
The words were too honest.
Evander didn’t sigh or get frustrated. He didn’t move closer, and I sort of wish he would.
“You don’t have to manage it all on your own. My duty is to make sure you are taken care of.” He took a breath. “I’m notasking you to tell me everything, just don’t pretend or lie that you’re okay when you clearly aren’t.”
But what I was feeling was normal. Normal for me.
And I managed it. I always had. For years, I’d learned how to push through everything. Illness, exhaustion, and the consequences that came when I didn’t meet expectations. Every time I slipped up, every time I had to repeat a lesson, every time I fell short…I got back up. I didn’t complain. Not once.
Even when things were harsher than they should have been, I stayed quiet. Even when I was hurt in ways that should’ve stopped me, I kept going. Even when I was denied things I needed, I told myself it was my fault, that I had to try harder next time.
That was how I survived.
So, when Evander asked again what was wrong, I gave in. Partly because of the no lying rule he laid down, but also because he insisted on knowing. And a small part of me that I didn’t want to give feelings towards wanted him to carry the weight of my worries. I wanted him to know how life had been like.
Because if he was right and I was that boy from his past, then he needed to know what kind of place I ended up at.
Lockswell wasn’t a glamorous place for Omegas to be kept. It was hell. And I never wanted to return.
“I don’t know what you want of me, Sir.” I glanced at him, just a flicker, and before he could say anything about me not needing to please him, I quickly went on. “I know. I know you don’texpectme to serve you, but that’s all I know. I am to serve the Alpha that I am in the company of at all times.”
Evander opened his mouth, then quickly closed it again.
“My back hurts. And my head kind of does too. And you’re not punishing me for not behaving to your expectations, and that’s messing me up more. And….and…I think I’m hungry but I’m not sure. I’m always hungry, but that’s okay because I don’tneedto eat. I’ve had to skip three days often enough to know that I can manage without eating if you desire me to lose weight. And I can stay awake for nearly thirty-six hours, too, just…you know…if you needed to know how long I can manage that, too. And…. I really don’t want to go back to Lockswell, but I understand if I’m not what you’re wanting.”
That was probably more than he asked for. More than he needed. But once I started talking, the words just…kept coming. There was no stopping them. No pulling them back. It was like something inside me had cracked open, and everything I’d been holding in spilled out before I could catch it.
I hated how easy it was, how easily I unraveled the moment someone gave me permission to speak. How fast the truth tumbled out once the first piece slipped free.
Evander didn’t interrupt. Didn’t look overwhelmed. He just listened.
And somehow, that made the flood of words feel a little less like a mistake, and a little more like something I’d needed to let out.
“Oh, Kasey.” Evander breathed my name; the sound threaded with something warm and aching, a mix of tenderness and quiet sorrow.
I ducked my head, suddenly embarrassed by how much I’d said. It had been too much. Way more than he’d asked for. But once the first truth slipped out, the rest followed.
“I didn’t mean to…say all that?” I murmured, the words coming out more like a question than an apology. “It just came out. And I really don’t want you to take me back there. I liked it here. I mean…Idolike it here. It’s nice. And warm…and I get to have clothes on even though they make my back itchy and pull on the scabs.” And I really should shut up now, but I didn’t say that part.
Evander leaned forward slightly, elbows resting on his knees, his expression soft in a way I didn’t know how to read.
“You don’t have to apologize for telling me the truth,” he said quietly.
The words landed like a warm hand on my back, gentle and steady, and nothing like the pressure I was used to.
I shifted, unsure what to do with the feelings rising in my chest. It wasn’t fearful, nor was it shameful. It was something else. Maybe close to relief.
“Let me help, Kasey. That’s all I want. We can fix a good amount of those things you said that was bothering you within minutes.”
“Please.” Please take it all.
