Quietly, I slipped out of the room and pulled the door mostly shut, leaving it cracked just enough that I'd hear him if he woke up.
I slipped on my shoes before stepping out the back door. The faint scent of pine from the line of trees wafted my way and I stopped to take a deep breath.
My parent’s house sat just across the backyard, close enough that I could see the kitchen lights when dark fell. Often times, I would sit on the porch and just watch them as they ate dinner and enjoyed life while I suffered in my thoughts.
Halfway across the yard, I glanced back at my house. The bedroom window was open, curtains letting in the sun, just as Kasey had left them this morning.
I climbed the steps that were yards past the batch of blue flowers that Ma had planted years ago. The same type of flowers that Kasey once loved.
I wondered if he still liked flowers.
Before I could wipe the thought from my mind, Ma was already there, opening the door and pulling me straight into her arms.
I was startled, but only for a second. This was Ma. Soft where the world was sharp. Warm where everything else felt cold. Her hugs had always been the kind you didn’t realize you needed until you were in them.
I wrapped my arms around her, letting myself sink into it for a breath longer than I meant to.
Too soon, she pulled back, her hands resting on my arms as she looked me over. Really looked. The way only a mother could; like she’d already pieced together half the story just from the way I was standing.
And when she finally spoke, her voice was that gentle, knowing tone I'd grown up with. The one no one ever tried to dodge.
“Alright, sweetie, tell me what’s going on.”
“I just...” I exhaled, the words catching somewhere low in my chest. “I miss him, Ma.”
Her expression softened instantly, the way it always did when the subject turned to Kasey. She didn’t press, didn’t pry, just rested a hand on my arm like she could steady the ache I didn’t know how to name.
I wasn’t ready to tell her he was asleep in my house. Not yet. Not when everything felt so fragile, like one move might shatter the thin thread holding him together.
I held onto the truth I could give her. “I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately. More than usual.”
Ma nodded, her blond hair bouncing around her shoulders. “Of course you have. You always do.”
She didn’t ask why. She didn’t need to. Kasey was nearly always constant to my thoughts. Even before he left us.
She turned towards the kitchen, and I followed her on tired feet.
“He’d be nineteen now.” Twenty in a few months.
“And ten years since he went missing as of tomorrow.”
Yeah, that too.
I leaned my elbows on the countertop, watching as my mother went around the island to grab whatever she had wanted to give me.
“You didn’t want to go camping with us?” Ma asked gently as she stepped closer. That soft knowing look still settled on herround face. “Did you finally accept that he’s not going to come back?”
I gave her a look before I could stop myself.
No, I’d never accept that. Because Kaseywasback. He was asleep in my house. Under my roof. In my care. The entire reason I canceled at the last minute to not go on our yearly camping trip.
The truth pressed hard against the back of my teeth. It would have been so easy to tell her, just a handful of words, and she’d know everything. She’d cry probably. She’d call Dad. She’d bake something else. She’d like to tell Kasey’s parents. It’d be too much for the Omega, let alone me, to handle right now.
So, I swallowed the truth and let it sit heavy in my chest.
“Something like that,” I murmured instead, keeping my voice steady as the lie scraped against my ribs.
Ma’s eyes saw the ache I carried with me. “You at least took the week off, right?”
