My breath hitched again, but this time I didn’t stop it. It kept going, because Evander told me to breathe. He told me to be good;thatI was good.
I didn’t notice when my knees shifted. I didn’t notice when my weight tipped forward. Didn’t notice when my fingers let go of the shirt and reached for something solid.
I only realized I was moving when my body was already halfway there. By the time awareness caught up, I was climbing into Evander’s lap like a child seeking warmth in the dark.
My breath hitched in my throat, panic flaring at the realization.
I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t be touched. I shouldn’t be taking up space. I shouldn’t be wanting comfort.
But my body kept going anyways, guided by something deeper than rules and training.
The Alpha didn’t stop me.
Evander only shifted enough to support the weight, hands sliding from my cheeks to my shoulders, steading me without holding me down.
I froze then, half on half off the Alpha’s lap, fingers curling into his shirt instead of the one I wore.
I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t even fully understand what I was trying to do.
I just…needed.
And for the first time in years, my body reacted to what it needed before my mind could stop it.
Evander’s voice came low, barely above a whisper that I felt more than I heard.
“Easy, sweet boy. You’re alright. I’ve got you.”
My breath broke again, but this time, it didn’t panic. It was a relief so sharp it hurt.
I pressed closer, my forehead tucked under Evander’s jaw, my body curling instinctively into the space offered to me. My knees drew up, shoulders trembling, and breath catching in little stutters I couldn’t hide.
I felt the steady rise and fall of the Alpha’s chest beneath my cheek, and the rhythm anchored me more than the shirt ever could.
I didn’t know why I was allowed to do this. I didn’t know why Evander wasn’t pushing me away. I didn’t know why the world wasn’t collapsing around me.
But Evander’s arms shifted, wrapping around me. Not tight, not restraining. Just enough to hold me in place, to let me know he wasn’t falling.
My grip tightened again, a small desperate sound escaping me before I could swallow it down. I buried my face deeper into his shirt, trying to hide the tears, the shaking, the way my body was betraying every rule I’d ever learned.
Evander didn’t flinch. He didn’t correct me. He didn’t tell me to stop.
He just held me, steady and warm, breathing slow enough that I could match him if I tried.
And for the first time in years, clinging to another didn’t feel like a mistake.
It felt like survival.
Chapter 20
Evander
“I’m here,” I murmured, keeping my voice low and even. “You’re safe. I’m not leaving.”
I repeated it until the tension in his shoulders eased. I just needed him to breathe. I hadn’t expected him to climb into my lap, but once he did, instinct took over. I held him firmly, guiding him back from the edge of one breath at a time.
I pressed a kiss to the top of his now sweaty head, breathing in his scent. He smelled like warm vanilla with a hint of honey. It was more pronounced now that he was older, but he was still the sweet Omega now as he had been at eight.
Kasey softened in my arms, little by little, the tension draining from him in slow waves. His breathing evened out first, then the trembling eased. Then his weight settled firmly, as if his body finally believed it was allowed to rest. Warm tears soaked through my shirt, spreading in a small damp patch over my chest.
