Crap.
The thought hit me so hard; my entire body locked up for a full second before it remembered how to move again. My heart thudded too fast, too loud, as my mind latched onto the one thing I didn’t want to acknowledge.
I was given a single blue pill at some point today, if not two of them.
That medication had been given a few times since I turned sixteen. Each time a test to our willingness to not touch. A test to see how long we could go with being trained and not let ourneedstake over.
It had been nearly impossible to pass those tests.
And I was going to fail this time. I always did when I was so close to being in between hell and a darker hell.
“I won’t let anything happen to you again, Honeybee. I promise.”
The soft voice was barely above a whisper, just a breath of the wind. Yet, my mind latched on to it. I had to hold onto something before I fell over the edge that was creeping closer and closer.
When a finger swipe hit a sensitive spot right under my cheek, I pressed further out, searching for more. Searching for relief, I knew only an Alpha could give.
This would be a test of mind over need. And as the pill cursed through my veins, I knew my mind wasn’t going to win.
No amount of pain would detour the outcome.
“…. death of me….”
Words were at the tip of my tongue, but I held back from speaking to them. I bit down on my upper arm, letting the tiny bit of pain bleed through my need.
“Kasey.”
If I could, I’d gladly beg for this Alpha to take what he wanted from my body. To use me how he saw fit. I’d beg for release so I could go back to the nothingness.
I didn’t want to feel any more, but right now, that’s all I could do.
I felt the cloth of the Alpha’s pants rub along my inner thighs as he stepped closer to my body. I felt the heat of his palms as one stayed on my butt; the other ran up and down my back in a gentle, calming manner. I felt his breath as he debated with himself on what was the right thing to do.
He was a strange Alpha, to debate about rights and wrongs.
On any other day, I’d gladly tried to persuade him to leave me alone. I’d have taken it into my control to take care of his needs to where I wouldn’t come out on the other side more broken than I already was.
But that wasn’t today. Not with estrogen running through my veins and urging me on.
Shifting again, I pushed my butt further into the air so my hard cock couldn’t rub against the bedspread. Any touch at all was likely going to drain me dry, which in turn would cause this Alpha to be displeased with me.
Always make the Alpha happy, no matter what.
Yet another rule to add to the never-ending lists.
Breathing deep, I forced my own need to settle, to let it simmer under the surface instead of boiling and demanding attention.
The Alpha noticed. Of course he did.
I didn’t catch what he said, but he pulled back as though I was on fire.
My heart sank, feeling that deep seed of panic and disappointment wash over me like a tidal wave.
As quickly as I could, and less graceful than any Omega was capable of, I scrambled off the bed. My knees thunked against the carpeted floor as I slowly knee walked towards where the Alpha stopped. One glance up at his face was enough to let me know he wasn’t looking at me.
Good, I thought, as I reached him.
With deft fingers, I undid his pants and found him semi hard. Before he had a chance to fight, to rethink, I wrapped my lips around him.
