“Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll go,” I tell him, my heart falling out of my chest at the thought of leaving him but if that’s what he needs to get his rest, I’ll do it.
“No, you’re not leaving me.” He scoots over in his bed, his face wincing in pain as he shuffles over. Raiden looks at me expectantly, and then the open spot he just vacated. I shake my head, refusing to squeeze my large frame onto the small bed beside him. He just woke up and I don’t want to risk hurting him or delaying his progress.
He stares at me, his gaze holding mine and I feel myself cave when he looks at me like that. How can I tell him no?
Ema and Rodney both stand up, squeezing me before they go out the door, letting it shut quietly behind them.
It's just us two in this room, nothing except his heartbeat keeping us company in the silence. His breaths are steady, his chest rising and falling like it did on the machine, but this time it’s all his own.
There’s no tears left for me to cry, my eyelids burn with the exertion.
“Hi,” he whispers when I manage to tuck myself halfway on the bed, my ass is hanging off and my arm is awkwardly tucked under my body, but I can feel his body heat this close so I can’t complain.
“Hi,” I say, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. His face flushes that pretty pink color I love and he scrunches his nose as he tries to fight off his grin.
“I missed you,” I tell him after a heartbeat of silence. It’s true, I’ve never known the act of truly missing someone until he wasn’t here. When I was deployed, I knew I could leave him messages and when he was ready he could talk to me. That wasn’t the case for the past few months, he hadn’t been able to talk to me. To tell me if his arm was itchy or his mouth was dry. I couldn’t do anything to help him as he laid in this hospital bed.
“I missed you. But I know you were here everyday. Thank you… for that.”
I want to ask himhow could I not be?Where else did I have to be besides here next to him? I couldn’t risk it.
“Could you hear me?” I don’t know if I want to know the truth. Would it be worse if I spent everyday talking to him and keeping him updated on what was going on without him and he didn’t know… Or if I spent everyday talking to him and it didn’t make a difference? If none of my words made a difference and the only reason he woke up was pure luck?
He nods, and a smile breaks out on his face. He could hear me. Every moment that I spent rehashing every moment of my day, everything I encountered, stories from other people, they paid off. He could hear me, even if he couldn’t respond he knew I was here and that I would never leave him alone.
Raiden stares into my eyes, his brown irises burning into my own, his gaze filled with longing and love and so many things I’ve been desperate for while he’s been gone.
I card my fingers through his hair, rubbing the soft strands and familiarizing myself with their texture, letting them embed themselves onto my skin, carefully avoiding the back of his head where the short strands of his hair are finally growing around the scar.
His lips are puffy and pink, probably where he’s been chewing on them since he’s been awake, and now that my gaze is trained on them I can’t divert my attention.
Raiden mouths a word, some sort of prayer or plea or siren call. I lean closer, until I can feel his warm breath against my lips, until the oxygen he’s breathing becomes my own. His breath smells like toothpaste and mouthwash, and if the circumstances were different I would tease him about preparing himself for me.
But we’re past teasing, and the longer I stare at his lips themore desperation builds inside of me until I’m nothing except a ball of need. Need for him. Need for his lips. Need for his touch.Needeverything he has to offer.
He’s my storm, the one who came in and wrecked my world, cleaning everything else away to leave it anew. And when the storm clouds disappeared, he was standing there waiting for me. Calling me home. Wherever Raiden is, I am too. Home isn’t a place anymore. It’s not a house to build a future with, but a person. With one heart, a set of lungs, and a touch that sets me on fire. Raiden is my home.
Raiden’s hands go to the back of my head, carefully moving his arm so he doesn’t pull the IV out of it, and he cups the nape of my neck, gently tugging on the short hairs and pulling me closer to him.
Our lips ghost, an angel kiss in this small hospital room where I’ve felt so much heartbreak.
I push my mouth against his harder, taking in his taste and his lips andholy fuck.This is what I’ve been craving, more than anything.
The love of my life kissing me back.
His lips are soft, surprisingly. But there’s life underneath these lips. A heartbeat and a soul keeping him here on Earth with me. A bond that even death can’t come between.
Cold fingers against my skin, warm lips against my own. I don’t know what I did to deserve him, but I’ll never let him go.
I kiss him until I’m out of breath, drawing back to gulp in air while keeping a millimeter of space between us. I crack my eyes open, but his are still shut, the picture of serenity with a small smile gracing his perfect face.
“I love you, tiny dancer.” The same words I’ve uttered to him before. The same words that have burned themself inside my brain and taken hold until it’s the one thing constantly on my mind. I love him, with everything inside of me. I love himwith every atom of my being. I belong to him–mind, body, and soul. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Raiden gasps, his eyes shooting open in alarm as he stares at me. His eyes are so wide I can see a majority of the white around the irises. I refuse to take the words back, even if he’s not ready to hear them or say them back, he needs to know how I feel. The feelings that I’ve been harboring since we were teenagers.
“You what?”
“I. Love. You.” I enunciate every syllable so he won’t get it confused, so he won’t find a way to convince himself that he’s dreaming. “I love you, and I’ve missed you so fucking much. I couldn’t go another day without letting you know.”
