I don’t stop until the barrel of the gun is pressed to the center of my forehead, I can feel the cool metal against my skin and grin wickedly when his jaw drops.
“Shoot me. Do it. Idareyou.” I taunt him, pushing the barrel further into my skin and feeling it leave its mark behind.
I can feel his hands shaking and I know I’ve got him.
“Raiden’s head was filled with lies because of you,” I tell him, never taking my eyes off his. His brown eyes widen in alarm and I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.
“But what’s even worse… Youknewhe was in the hospital this whole time. You knew and you didn’t care… until you realized you could get something out of it.”
“You hid my voicemails. You kept him hidden away. He was nothing except a trophy for you.” My words are harsh but even under my scrutiny his hand trembles worse, his pupils dilating in fear. His fight or flight is kicking in. “Something pretty you can keep to show off, but has no real value to you. You only love what it represents.”
“You know why he chose me, Josh?” I ask, and I can see a drop of sweat beading on his hairline. I don’t wait for him to answer, because anything he says will be wrong. “Because I’m not weak.” The last word is a snarl.
“You’re wrong!” Josh yells, spit flying from his mouth. “I’m not weak, you're weak!” He narrows his eyes on mine until there’s nothing but a slit of his black pupils.
I shove him back, and he falls into the house, his back hitting the floor with a loudthud.
“You kept him away from me!” I scream as I rear back andkick him in the ribs. Feeling my foot connect with the bones in his side and he cries out.
“You’re crazy.” His words are choked out as I deliver another blow to his side.
“You’re fucking right,” I agree with him. Not feeling an ounce of remorse for him. The things Elijah found on him were disgusting. Using Raiden, sleeping with other people while Raiden was on tour. Lying and manipulating everyone until Raiden looked like the bad guy. He’s not. Raiden is the best man I know and the fact this piece of shit tried to ruin his life will be the worst mistake he’s ever made.
“He’s mine.”Kick.
“He wasneveryours.”Punch.
“You never deserved him.”Slap.
“Coco! Stop!” I’m pulled back by my arms and a tight band wraps around my chest, my lungs are panting with each breath and I look down at Josh. He’s still breathing, every exhale is a wheeze. I wish he was dead. I wish he would have died by my hand so Raiden would never have to worry about him ever again.
“Come near him again, Josh, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do. This was just a warning.”
I brush off Connor and storm out the front door. Hollis stays inside while Connor follows me out. I pace the yard, inhaling the fresh air and taking a minute to cool down. With each breath pain starts to settle in. My knuckles are bloody and busted. My leg is sore from holding my weight while I delivered the blows to Josh’s body with my other one.
“You’re lucky Elijah found that stuff, Coco. Hollis is in there blackmailing him so he won’t go to the police and press charges. What the fuck were you thinking?”
“What are you doing here?” I bite out, whirling around to face him.
“Saving your ass, obviously. We knew something was up when you didn’t come to the hospital and no one had seen you. We called Elijah to check your tracker and it showed you were here.”
“You have a tracker on me?” The information distracts me from the anger roaring in my veins.
“Let’s not focus on that right now.”
That seems like the perfect thing to focus on right now, but by his steely gaze and the annoyed set of his mouth, I’m not going to be able to smooth talk my way out of this. Especially with the way Hollis is still inside of the house instead of out here with us. It couldn’t have been that bad, it’s not like I killed Josh. I just assaulted him, very big difference.
“Have you ever loved someone so much you would do anything for them?” I finally ask after a minute of silence where Connor stares at me, refusing to budge. I sit on the pavement of the driveway, propping my arms on my criss crossed legs and dropping my head into my hands.
He snorts, and drops beside me. “I have, I do.” He inhales and slaps me on the back. “I love Hollis, and I would do anything for him. That’s why I’m out here supporting you instead of biting your head off for making dumb decisions. I doubt I would be any better if I was in your shoes.”
Well, that makes me feel a little bit better, but not much. I wish I wasn’t in this predicament at all. I wish I would have reassured Raiden thathewas it for me before I agreed to talk to Liam. I wish I would have reconciled us sooner so I would have the chance to love him longer.
But wishes aren’t real and no amount of wishing can change the trajectory my life is on. I accepted from a young age that I would never get to be happy like everyone else. I didn’t think I would get to love and be loved loudly. But in the short period of time between me and Raiden, between stolen kisses and softmoments, he reminded me that I don’t have to settle. I don’t have to accept the hand I’ve been dealt. I can fold and start anew.
And that’s exactly what I’m going to do as soon as I leave here today.
38
