“Tell me,” I attempt to demand, but my voice comes out cracked, raw with the devastation that’s weighing down on me. “Please, Hollis. I can’t lose him.”
“They found Ema’s car.” His focus is still on the road, but instead of turning back towards my parent’s house, he takes a right instead of a left.
“Where are we going, Hollis?”
“The car was totaled. Drive by accident. The driver’s side of the car was completely smashed in.”
Pictures of Ema’s crumpled car flood my vision and I hit myforehead with the heel of my hand to force the picture away. Raiden, sitting in the front seat of the crumpled car while the rain pelts him. Not being able to call me or rely on me to come save him.
“He’s at the hospital, I’m taking you there now. Ace and Connor are going back to get your parents and Ema and Rodney.”
Raiden is at the hospital, that means he’s hurt. But he’ll be okay, the hospital here is one of the best in the region. They’ll patch him up and send him on his way and I’ll be able to take care of him.
The rest of the ride is silent. Me too lost in my thoughts to talk and Hollis too focused on keeping my truck on the road on the route to the hospital.
A memory makes itself known when we pass by the playground close to the school.
“Raiden! Be careful. I’m not joking. You’re scaring me.” Raiden looks down at me from his perch on top of the swing set. His legs are hanging off precariously and the only thing keeping him up there is his ass. Literally. Barely.
“I’m not going to fall, Jer. Even if I did, you would catch me before I hit the ground.”
My position is too far away to be able to catch him. I was content to watch him from afar, but every time his body swayed on top of the piece of metal my heart lurched. School is out for the summer, and our parents are at work so we came to the park to kill time before we went home. Raiden wants me to watch him practice his dance routine he’s been working on.
“Get down, and I’ll give you what I bought you this weekend.” I’m not above bargaining with him if it means he’ll be careful getting down. He’s not one to pass up gifts, no matter how small they might be. For him, it’s not the size of the gift but the thought that goes into the gift.
“What is it?” He turns his shoulder to look at me and his bodywobbles, just slightly. He grabs the railing and his knuckles are white from his tight grip.
“Come here and I’ll give it to you.” I’m pleading at this point, but it’s better than letting him think I don’t care. I do care, so much. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure he’s safe and protected.
“Is now a bad time to admit that I’m scared to get down?”
For fuck’s sake.
“You couldn’t have thought about that before you got up there?” I walk over to where he is, standing right underneath him. The wood chips underneath my shoes crunch with every step I take and I brace myself for the impact against them. If he’s scared to come down, the only way he will is if I catch him.
“I wasn’t scared getting up here!” He defends himself, attempting to look down at me but I can see the fright on his face. His normally rosy red cheeks are pale and his arms are trembling.
“Jump.” I tell him, trying to figure out where he’s going to come down so I can brace his fall.
The sun is beating down on him, creating a crown of gold across his head. He looks like a king up that high, a God of epic proportions.
Drops of sweat trickle down my back causing my shirt to cling to my skin, but I don’t move to try to peel it away. I watch with bated breath to see what Raiden decides to do.
“I’m going over to the side. Watch me because I don’t want to fall.” His last words are practically a whimper and I follow underneath him as he slowly scoots his way across the metal. It groans under his weight and he freezes, his eyes wide and his body shakes with tremors.
“Keep going, Raiden. You’re almost there. I won’t let you fall.” I reassure him. He inhales a deep breath and keeps going, albeit slower this time.
Finally, fucking finally, he gets to the end where the legs meet the ground.
“I’m right here, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Now or ever.” I vow to him. He closes his eyes–
I’m jerked out of the memory by Hollis slamming on the brakes of my truck. We’re in front of the hospital, the glowing red ER sign a beacon in the dark night. An omen.
“Get out and go in, we’ll all be in there in a minute. Connor and Ace are right behind us.”
My legs carry me out of the truck, my mind processing that I’m shutting the door and walking into the lobby, but there’s no other feelings. I’m numb as I take in the packed waiting room, parents with screaming toddlers and adults hunched over in pain on the plastic chairs.
The white flooring reflects the overhead fluorescent lights, and I fight the panic trying to take over my body. Pushing it down and shoving it aside, I don’t have the time for it. All I need right now is to find Raiden.
