“You should come out to Kody’s, his parents are cool and let us drink. You can bring a friend if you want.” He offers and I have to bite my lip from asking if I could bring Raiden.
The doors to the locker room are open, propped up with cement bricks so the flood of boys hyped up on adrenaline don’t accidentally rip them off the hinges trying to open them. Me and Josh are towards the back, the noise is slightly dimmer here while all the crowd starts to file out of the stands and congregate near the exit gate.
I check over my shoulder to see Raiden standing on the sideline with his parents and my mom, talking animatedly and waving his hands around in the air. Probably describing in detail how each of his dance steps went, even though they watched his whole performance. A shot of sadness hits me square in the chest when I realized I missed watching him dance. I was so focused on the game in front of me, I never got to take a second to truly admire him in his natural element. I hope my mom recorded it. I plan on putting it on our big screen TV and watching it in high definition with Raiden sitting right there beside me to enact the whole thing for me.
I catch Raiden’s eyes, even from across the field I can feel the joy radiating from them. He did what he loved, in front of the whole school and thrived. His goal is to become Captain, and hopefully one day become a professional dancer. If his spins and jumps are anything to go by, I think he has all the potential in the world to make it.
He waves at me, slinging his skinny arm through the air in the dramatic way that only he can pull off. His bedazzled black uniform reflects the stadium lights, sending shimmer across the ground. Lighting a path to him that feels like it's meant for me. For me to follow and it will lead me home, every time.
“Raiden can come, too. I’ll pick you both up if you want to come.” Josh offers. Raiden would like that, he loves being the center of attention. With his loud words and sassy quips, he deserves all of the attention he is given. And I’m content to stand off to the side and watch him bask in it.
“Yeah, let me ask him, but I’m sure he’ll say yes.” Josh’s smile is knowing as he slaps my shoulder pad and jogs the rest of the way into the locker room. I follow behind him at a slower pace, feeling the stare of Raiden’s eyes burning into my back.
I showered in the locker room, but I had to wait on Raiden to shower and get ready before I sent a text to Josh telling him we were waiting outside. Raiden sits beside me on the curb in between our houses and rests his head on my shoulder, yawning loudly and I wince when I hear his jaw crack.
“Why are we going to this tonight? I’m tired. I don’t know what you did, but I danced for a full game.” I chuckle, turning my head towards his head and rubbing my forehead against the crown of his head until he pushes me off. “Do not mess up my hair. It would not cooperate and I will choke your ass out if you mess it up.” He threatens, and the angry puff to his cheeks and the slightly disheveled hair makes him look like an irritated kitten.
“I thought you would want to go since everyone is going tobe there.” I worry for a minute that I messed up, seeing the exhaustion in his face. He worked really hard tonight. It shouldn’t be too late to text Josh and rain check.
“I’d rather hang out with you, but this is fine. Jasmine and Sophie are going to be there, so I’m sure they’ll want to talk about how amazing we did and then turn right around and critique everything to know what we need to practice on before the next home game.” He buries his face further into my neck and I lean my head fully on him now, taking in his fresh body wash and the smell of the gel he put in his hair.
Josh pulls up in his truck a moment later, the loud exhaust echoing down the street and hurting my ears. Raiden cuts his eyes at me,reallyhe asks, quirking an eyebrow before eyeing the truck. Josh rolls down his windows and yells “hop in” loud enough that I’m sure the neighbors thought the command was meant for them.
I open the door for Raiden and wait for him to get situated before I shut his door and hop in the backseat. Josh peels off a moment later, his wheels squealing against the concrete.
The ride to Kody’s is filled with Josh’s metal music filling the cabin with screaming voices and deep music notes. It’s not my taste, but the way Josh is nodding his head to the music, I doubt he would take it kindly if I asked him to turn it down. I watch him as he looks at Raiden, his eyes doing a slow perusal of him sitting in the passenger seat and I get thisfeelinginside of me. It doesn’t feel right, almost like jealousy. But that doesn't make any sense because I have no reason to be jealous of Josh looking at Raiden. Raiden is mine and I’m his, we said it last night. Raiden isn’t going to replace me as his best friend because a guy two years older invited us to a party.
That is until we get to the party, and Josh drags Raiden off. And I stand on the sidelines, close enough to witness but not close enough to be a part of as Josh shows off Raiden to everyone, talking loudly about how Raiden is a dancer. Like he’s ashow piece that Josh can parade around and show off like a ballerina in a box. That ugly feeling grows in my chest the longer I watch them, and the longer I’m left by myself.
Raiden’s cheeks are flushed and I watch him talk to everyone with a smile. He never even looks my way, too wrapped up in the flood of people surrounding him and Josh.
In the span of a few hours, I’ve watched as my best friend replaces me with the first person who comes along. It’s a shitty feeling, and I hate feeling sorry for myself while he’s not feeling sorry for leaving me on my own.
I walk back to my house, replaying every moment of the party like a replay of my worst moments, the miles fade into darkness as my feet start to ache from the distance after a long game, past every crack in the pavement and every stop sign until I’m taking the final steps up to the front door. My mom left it unlocked for me and the light is on in the living room. I don’t want to talk to her tonight, to see the pity on her face when I tell her why I’m back early from the party.
“I’m home mom.” I tell her and keep my head facing towards the hallway as I hear her stand up and stretch.
“Good sweetheart, did you have fun?” Her footsteps follow me down the hall to my room. I open the door and step inside, leaving it open behind me.
“Yeah I did. Raiden did, too.” The words want to crack on the way out, but I force them out with as much confidence as I can muster. “He’s still there with Josh, he’s going to bring him home later.”
My mom hums in the back of her throat and I turn to look at her. She’s leaning on the doorway to my room, the light in the living room bathing her in the yellow light.
“The football captain?” Her tone has a hint of something knowing and I nod my head. “It’s fine, whatever you’re feeling, Jericho. He’ll always be your friend.” She says and I nod myhead again, not feeling strong enough to say anything else about the subject.
“If you want to talk, you can talk to me. About anything, okay? You’re not alone. I know I’m not your dad but I am still your mom.” She takes a step towards me and I meet her in the middle, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and tucking her head against my chest.
“Love you, mom.”
4
JERICHO
SOPHOMORE YEAR PART TWO
For my sixteenth birthday, my present was watching Raiden and Josh make out in the backyard of my parents house while my dad was grilling burgers for all of us. He came back from his deployment just in time to celebrate my birthday, and he wanted to celebrate big with all of my friends and family. His words wereyou’re only sixteen onceas if I won’t be every age once.
What I didn’t know was that Raiden was going to invite Josh. I could have enjoyed the day without him. Without having to watch the two of them hang off each other. I’m not jealous, not like I was that first night at Kody’s when I watched them together. Now, I’m annoyed. There’s never a time me and Raiden can hang out without Josh. If Raiden wants to come over, he has to ask Josh first. Seriously, to come over to hisbest friend’s house.Now, it’s become more of a hassle for us to spend time together. The one person whowasmy best friend is now a virtual stranger. I watch Raiden as he walks around the backyard, hand secured tightly in Josh’s. It feels like I’m watching a parasite who has taken over Raiden’s body and is wearing it as a meat suit.
