I hear his truck pull in two hours later, and when he walks in, he scans the room first after he pulls off his boots.
His eyes land on my Bible, sitting beside me now. I picked it up again after we hung up, hoping something would resonate. Itdidn’t. I basically just stared at the words, asking God what he wanted me to read.
I motion toward it with a wave. “I don’t get it, Cody. I don’t understand what it’s saying. Half the words, the phrasing…none of it makes sense to me. I don’t get how Addison and Wesley do Bible studies every week. What are they reading? I just don’t get it!”
He blinks, one hand settling on his hip and the other rubbing the back of his neck.
“Can you show me what exactly you’re talking about?”
I flip to a random page because I genuinely can’t remember what verse I read earlier. “Here. It says, ‘Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise—why destroy yourself?’”
I huff and look at him. “What does that even mean? Because I thought being righteous and wise was, you know…good? What am I supposed to do with that?”
He actually laughs a little and comes closer, towering beside me. “Let me see.”
I slide it across the counter, and he leans over it, his deodorant wafting over to me, like he just put more on. Or maybe it’s cologne? I’m not really sure. It smells a little too good to be plain old deodorant.
He flips through the pages. “Alright, this is Old Testament. Genesis through about here.” He points to a section of the Bible. “All before Jesus was born. Still important, but I’d suggest starting in Matthew. That’s where Jesus’s story begins. Birth, life, what he said, what he did. You’ll probably connect more with that.”
“Okay.” I reach for it, but he stops me and pulls out the seat beside him. “Sit. I’ll get you started.”
“I can read, Cody. I just didn’t know where to.”
“I know. So sit. Let’s do it together.”
I hesitate but sit beside him, and for the next twenty minutes, he reads to me.
I interrupt a lot.
“So why would God tell them to go to Egypt if He was just going to send them to Israel instead?” I ask.
“Because it was the safest place for them at the time. God was protecting Jesus from Herod, and He knew exactly when it would be safe to go back. It also fulfilled a prophecy from the Old Testament if you go back in Hosea, I think it is.”
I nod slowly. Understanding. Finally. This is amazing.
We go like that for a few more minutes before he closes the Bible slowly and sets it between us.
“That’s probably a good place to stop for tonight,” he says quietly.
I nod. There’s a weird ache in my chest. Like I want to keep going but also can’t absorb another word. My mind’s exhausted, but in a good way.
“You okay?” he asks when I don’t say anything.
“Yeah. I’m just… Thank you. For not making me feel dumb.”
“You’re not dumb. You think I got all this figured out?” He shakes his head. “I don’t.”
My eyes drop to the Bible. “Well, you seem like you do.”
He lets out a short laugh. “That’s cause I’ve already wrestled with it. You’re just getting started.” He nudges me gently.
“Yeah.” I blink fast, trying not to cry. I wish I knew more, I wish I could wake up tomorrow and know everything and be confident in what’s wrong and right, but I’m not. I’m lost.
His voice softens. “Go take a shower, Karissa. And, seriously, take your time.”
I chew the inside of my cheek. “I don’t know why I’m so tired.”
“Perhaps the baby snoozing in the living room?” he suggests, and that earns him a laugh.
