He gives me a hug. It’s quick and friendly, his hands barely landing on me. I follow him and watch him tend to the fire, breaking up more sticks to add on and blowing on the orange flames.
Suddenly, I’m very aware that neither of us has spoken for probably thirty seconds and it’s awkward.
He stands, facing me, and I wonder if he can hear how loud my heartbeat is. If I look at his eyes right now, it will only make it worse. I sit down in my usual seat and he sits acrossfrom me.
“What’s on your mind?” he asks.
I look at him now, seeing the way he’s looking at me, and I feel so stupid. How could I have not seen it before?
“I’m scared,” I say with a quick breath.
He sits back. “Scared of what?”
“I just don’t want you to stop being my best friend.” The emotion in my voice is way heavier than anticipated.
“I’m not—” He shakes his head. “I don’t want anything to change either.”
“I just can’t lose this.” I gesture between us. “You’reallI have.”
“You’re allIhave too.”
I adjust my coat and slide my feet across the concrete floor. I want him to keep talking. I need more reassurance, but I don’t feel comfortable saying that.
“Not much would change, Addison. We hang out all the time, we go to the same church, I talk to you more than anyone else.”
“I know.”
“I still want you to take the time to get over your relationship with him though. Deal with all those feelings and then…we’ll talk. Alright?”
I nod and get up. I’m glad he’s being so patient about it all. I wasn’t ready to tell everyone yet anyway.
“I’m glad you came to talk, and that we’re on the same page,” he says, following me.
“Yeah me too.”
I walk slowly, not wanting to leave but knowing there’s not really a good reason to stay either.
We reach the side door and I turn to him.
He’s looking at me like that again. Maybe it’s the newnormal? Maybe I just have to get used to it? Homing in on his lips, I think about what they felt like. He takes a half step closer but it’s enough to get my heart pumping faster and heat rushing through my skin.
He tilts his head and slowly leans in, and when our lips brush together, I press forward. His hands find the small of my back and pull me in closer. His kiss is soft and sweet yet electrifying all at the same time.
He pulls back, resting his forehead against mine, and both of us are smiling ear to ear. As if we’re two kids at recess who just had their first kiss.
“I should go now,” I whisper.
“I know,” he whispers back. I’m tempted to kiss him again but I don’t. I step back and slip out the door behind me.
Chapter 22
Addison
Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. Everyone comes to the Big House, we open presents, eat a big breakfast, watch movies, eat some more, and just hang out.
And Mason and Ella are home this year; last year they both had to work.
I get downstairs to find my parents sitting on the couch holding steaming hot cups of coffee and watchingA Christmas Story. The smell of my mom’s egg casserole in the oven fills the house, and the flurries of snow outside are accumulating on the nine inches we already have.
