“You okay?” he asks, and I nod, fighting tears.
Mom tilts her head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrug and feel Mason reach over and touch my back.
When I really think about it, I don’t think I waited to say something about the breakup because I was tired or didn’t feel there was enough time to discuss it. I think I’m just frustrated and embarrassed over the reasoning. The part about my anxiety contributing makes me angry, but I know that the second I mention that Brantley was jealous of Wesley…it’s over. Everyone will jump on that and I won’t be able to keep the kiss or anything else to myself any longer. I’m terrible at those kinds of secrets.
Cody drops his fork onto his plate, the sound making me jump. “Hold up, he dumped you over the phone?” he infers…correctly.
“He called me. It wasn’t a text,” I say.
“That’s some bull—” he starts.
“Hey,” Dad interjects.
“…bologna,” Cody corrects himself. “That’s some bullbologna.”
“Did he say why?” Ella asks.
I take a deep breath, dreading that question but knowing I have to answer it. “My anxiety. Everything was just frustrating to deal withand—”
“Did you tell him he should try being the one who has it?” Jesse cuts in, his tone unimpressed, his eyes full of empathy.
I just let out a small laugh in response.
“Want me to talk to him?” Mason asks, cracking his knuckles. I know he’s joking, but I also know that if I said yes, he would.
“No.” I laugh.
The table falls silent for a second before Mom intervenes. “What did Wesley say?”
“He was…a friend. Like he always is.” It takes everything I have not to even show a hint of a smile. I reach for my glass of water; it’s easy to hide behind.
“Was this before or after you two had to huddle together to keep warm for the night?” Cody jokes. Mom nudges him, hard. “Ow! I’m just saying!”
“Don’t,” she scolds, giving him the eye.
I adjust myself in my seat, wishing my entire body wasn’t starting to sweat. I’m not ready to talk about that part of the trip with them yet. They’re going to have questions about things I don’t even know the answer to yet.
“I think what he meant to say was, we’re sorry.” Mason puts his arm around me and pulls me in for a brotherly hug.
After we get cleaned up from lunch, Dad turns onThe Dukes of Hazzardand everyone piles into the living room. I stay in the kitchen and make a pot of hot chocolate, per Mason’s request.
“So, are you really okay?” Jesse’s voice calls out behind me. “Breakups suck.” He’s leaning against the counter, hands in his pockets.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I feel less trapped.”
“You shouldn’t feel trapped,ever.”
“I just meant, always trying to prove myself, to show him Icould be ‘normal.’”
“There’s no such thing as normal, Addison. Some guy will come along and see absolutely nothing wrong with you because he’ll love you enough not to care about the small flaws or inconveniences you carry.”
My thoughts flash to Wesley, his similar spiel to me earlier in the trip. Insisting there was nothing wrong with me. Then he told me I was amazing, funny, smart, witty, and beautiful. How didn’t I see it? How was I so clueless how he felt?
Ella’s voice enters the room. “Sorry, I just need to pee…again.” She’s ready to pop, and by that, I mean she looks so uncomfortable as she’s doing the pregnant waddle to the bathroom.
“We’re just talking about how much breakups suck,” Jesse says, hooking an arm around my neck and pulling me closer for a reassuring hug.
