This morning though…this morning was weird. I didn’t look at him at all until we got to Sunday school, where he avoided me like the plague, making it easier for me to do the same to him. I was the first out the door when it was over, just in case he had a change of heart. I didn’t want to talk to him there. I’m not saying I don’t want to talk to him at all. I do. But I’m not chasing him. He’s the one who messed up, so he can seek me out this time—privately—and make things right. If he doesn’t want to, and he really doesn’t want to be friends anymore, then so be it, I guess.
“Well, maybe some space is good. How has your relationship with Brantley been?”
“Great. Never better, honestly. Friday night, I went to his house, and we got pizza and built a fire.”
“You ate?” Ella’s eyebrows raise.
I nod. “Yeah. My anxiety was completely fine.”
“So weird!”
“Well, now that it’s getting cooler out, it’s easier for me to breathe,” I explain. Hot air is always suffocating for me when I’m in an anxious state. Which is probably why my anxiety ramps up more over the summer. Honestly, I never really thought about that until now.
“Well, I’m glad you and Brantley are figuring it out. Maybe Wesley was just getting in the way of that too.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. I hate fighting.”
“Nobody likes fighting.”
“Well, you and Jesse never seem to fight.”
“Trust me, we do. We just do it quietly, behind closed doors.”
I side-eye her. “I don’t believe you.”
“Believe me. We are far from perfect. Just the other night, we went to bed angry at each other.”
I gasp and she widens her eyes at me. “What?” she says, confused.
“I thought you weren’t supposed to do that.”
“Oh. Well, honestly, everyone’s different, but sometimes sleeping on it helps. You wake up with less emotions and the reality of the issue is clearer.”
“Then why does everyone saynever go to bed angrylike it’s a law?”
She laughs. “I don’t know. We haven’t been married that long and learned pretty quick thatthatlawwas not one for us to follow.”
“Noted.”
“Now, your parents…I’m sure they—”
“Oh, they’d stay up for three days straight,” I cut in.
Ella snorts. “Right. Again, personal preference. And it’s harder, when you’re dating, to resolve things.”
“Right, because you’re not under the same roof.”
“Exactly.”
I let out another sigh, thinking about what fights would look like in a marriage with Brantley. I feel like we’re both sorta stubborn. I think he’d be sleeping on the couch once a week at the rate we go.
* * *
My alarm goes off at 3:30 a.m. and I have no problem getting right up out of bed. I’m always excited for the first day of the season.
Throwing on a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a little makeup, I throw my hair up in a ponytail and head downstairs. As expected, Mom is already putting the cheesy potato casseroleswe prepped last night into the oven.
“How long you been up?” I ask, turning the sink on to wash my hands.
