“What?”
“You read now,” he says.
I look back to it, seeing I already have some of this verse highlighted, and I start reading. “Rejoice in the Lord always.I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Wesley takes the rest of the section and I try to focus and comprehend every single word he speaks.
He clears his throat just before finishing, causing me to raise my eyes to him, seeing his dark brown eyes set on me. “And the God of peace will be with you,” he finishes, not breaking our gaze for even a second.
I break into a smile first. “I love that, but sometimes…I don’t know, it feels hard to actuallydoit, you know? Especially me…not be anxious aboutanything? Yeah right,” I scoff with a laugh.
Wesley leans back in the chair. “Yeah, it’s definitely easier said than done. But I think it’s more about trying to remember to bring those worries to God and trust He’s got it, He’s gotyou.”
Letting his words sink in, I glance back down at the page. “I guess I’m good at telling God what’s wrong but not great at the thanksgiving part.” I look back to Wesley. “It’s hard to be thankful when things feel like they’re not working out,” I say softly.
Wes matches my tone. “Makes sense. But remember, it’s not about ignoring the hard stuff, it’s about staying positive. Like, ‘Yeah, this is tough, but it could be worse and God’s still good and He’s still here.’”
“So, what do I do when it doesn’t feel like God’s there?”
Wesley is quiet for a moment, trying to process my questionand give me a good answer. I’m good at that, asking him hard questions, making him really think.
“I think that’s when you lean on truth instead of feelings. God’s always there.Always.” He pauses and looks back to the scripture. “Like, it doesn’t say you’ll feel peace right away, it says His peace will guard your heart and mind.” He looks back to me. “That’s a promise, even if it takes a while to feel it.”
“You make it sound simple,” I mutter,
He shakes his head, his eyes soft. “It’s not.”
The room falls silent. I grab my pen and writeLean on truth, not feelingsin the empty space beside the highlighted verse in my Bible.
Wesley finishes the rest of the chapter. I can’t focus on what he’s reading, I’m too in my feelings right now. I haven’t felt God near me lately and it’s scary. I’m frustrated, I’m upset. I feel so lonely.
The words blur as tears start to sting in the back of my eyes. I wipe the couple strays away before Wesley finishes reading. I don’t want him to see me upset; that’s way more awkward for him than it would be for me.
But I’m too late. He comes and sits beside me, his hand on my back. The lightness of it tells me he’s hesitant.
He clears his throat. “You wanna stop?” His tone is gentle.
“Yeah, I’m tired.” I pick my head up, blinking back tears, and they start to go away.
“Okay.” He grabs my hand.
“God, I just wanna pray for Addison. She’s going through a lot right now, and I know you see it all. Please help her feel your presence, especially when things feel really heavy. Give her the strength she needs, and the courage to face whatever’s in front of her. Help her to remember that you’re with her,even when it feels like she’s on her own. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
By the time he’s finished, I have tears racing—and I meanracing—down my face. They aren’t controllable at this point. He knew just what to say because he pays attention and even figured out how to put the things that I didn’t know how to express into words. And that means more to me than he’ll ever know.
“It’s okay,” he says, squeezing my hand a little harder. He brushes his thumb over my knuckles before he lets go and puts his arm around me instead, pulling me into a hug. His fingers softly trace my shoulder and arm.
Even though my life and relationship are still in shambles, I feel such a heavy weight lift off of me. I feel seen.
Chapter 7
Wesley
I’m laying on the horn in front of Chase’s house. He’s taking forever, and if I have to sit one more second in this truck alone with Brantley and Addison in the backseat, I’m gonna drive into a pole. I’d let Addison out first, obviously.
Everything’s apparently fine between her and Brantley now. She was crying to me less than a week ago about it, but whatever. I just…I really don’t like him. He’s such a player—cocky, stubborn, arrogant, selfish…I could go on. I guess I don’t prefer to see her snuggled up against anyone, but it makes it even worse when I hear about how things are behind the scenes.
“I was taking a leak. Jeez,” Chase says as he slides in the passenger seat.
