“Yeah, you can go back in,” she says, shooing me.
I don’t budge. “You think I’m gonna leave you out here in the dark?”
“I’m fine. My mom will be here soon.”
“Right, so I’ll wait.” I sit on the top concrete step.
Addison doesn’t say anything, just paces slowly, taking deep breaths. The silence dancing between us feels different than normal, heavy.
I clear my throat and speak, my voice low and steady, “I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“I’ve told you how it is.”
I stare at her. No. She just gave the wordanxiousan entirely new meaning for me. Because what I just witnessed was so much more than that. I just watched this girl silently battle her mind and body.
“You didn’t tell me it was that severe.”
She looks down at her hands. “I don’t always want to talk about it, I guess. I just want it to go away.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. It’s the only thing I can think to say. My heart for her just doubled in size.
* * *
“I don’t know, Wes, it sounds like she likes you more than she likes her boyfriend,” Harper says in the seat beside me, bringing me back to the present. My dad looks at me through the rearview mirror just as we pull into the church parking lot.
Irritation floods my veins, and my voice tightens, “When are you guys going to accept we are just friends and stop forcing us to be more than that?” I pause, but no one responds. “That’s what I thought.” I huff and get out of the truck as soon as my dad puts it in park.
I know lying is wrong but I’m not ready to admit the truth to anyone.
I’ve been in love with Addison Jennings for years.
There are a million things about her that you’d have to be stupid not to love. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her voice, her wit, her heart, her…everything. She’s the dream.
The older we get, the more I’ve had to fight the feelings. Push them down and forget them. It’s brutal most days, andeven worse now that she’s dating this Brantley guy. Who, I should mention, met her while we were together at a rodeo two summers ago. I left her alone for two minutes and of course came back to find him flirting with her. They haven’t been dating quite two years yet, even though it feels like it’s been an eternity. I hate it.
Because Addison doesn’t have any girlfriends, I am the one she talks to about him. She enjoys the idea of getting a guy’s perspective, I guess. I’ve given her advice, listened to her worries and mental battles. I try to help as best I can. Seeing the way she lights up when she’s texting him sometimes isn’t the easiest thing to watch, but I’m figuring it out. Slowly but surely.
Speaking of Addison, there she is now. I watch her wavy brown hair make its way down the aisle and slide into a pew beside her family. She makes Cody and Mason slide over so she can sit with her mom. As the worship team takes the stage, her oldest brother Jesse struts in with a coffee in hand and Ella in the other, leading her up to the pew.
After Sunday school I make my way to the bathroom but stop when I feel a pull on my bicep, and I turn around to see Addison standing there, sporting her pretty, dimpled smile. Short wisps of her hair fall to the sides of her face beside her dark brown eyes.
“Did you get to bed before midnight?” she asks.
I think back. “Actually, I did.”
She left around 10:30 p.m. I was done fixing the tractor way before then, but she didn’t have to know that.
“Wowww,” she draws out. “Tell me you’re relaxing today.”
I shake my head and she cocks her head at me. “Wes, please. Don’t you want to take a nap, watch a movie, do somethingmindless?” she insists.
I just laugh and glance around the room, my eyes stopping when I see my sister staring at us, a smug grin on her face that saysSee what I mean?
My laugh stops, and I clear my throat. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you Tuesday, okay?” I put one foot forward to leave.
“Every week,” Addie says just as we part ways.
Chapter 4
