“I fucked up,” he says, not looking away from his best friend. “Caden said to back off when we saw how many of them there were. He always worked with strategy, patience. But not me. I got cocky, as usual. Too cocky.” He pauses, closes his eyes. “We’d taken out five of them already. But then the knife was coming at me. Cade jumped in front of me.” His eyes pop open, as if the flashback is too much to bear. “He fought him off good. I went to jump on the guy, then got hauled back by another, while Caden struggled to get the knife from him.” His eyes glaze over with the memory. “I got him off me easily, but then I was pinned to a wall getting pummelled by four of them. Helpless to get to him. Bob got one guy who was on me, he did amazing. By the time I got them off me, the knife had already penetrated.” He clicks his tongue, sighs. “I just stood back and watched the knife go through him.”
Looking at him now, despite his friend’s blood splattered all over his clothes, he’s come away unscathed from fighting off four guys at once. Even I must admit that’s impressive.
“You didn’t just stand back, Fiz, you were held. By four guys, no less.” I don’t know why I’m attempting to comfort him. Don’t understand this twisting feeling in my stomach at watching the guilt consume Fiz’s face.
“I didn’t get to him quick enough. Sarge had the guy’s leg in his jaw and yanking him away from Cade, but…” His chin wobbles a bit. “It should have been me. I deserved it.”
The number of venomous thoughts I want to throw at him right now.Yes, you did. Caden deserved it too. You both deserve worse.But none come. I don’t have it in me to kick a man while he’s down.
“You’re both alive, Fiz, you both made it home. That’s all that matters now.” I push up and start collecting the items back into the duffle bag, desperate to distract myself from this weird, horrible feeling stirring my insides to mush. I do not care about him. Nor his best friend unconscious on the dining room table.
Fiz remains silent the whole time, staring at his friend. Once I start walking away, duffle bag slung over my shoulder, he scrapes his chair back on the floor and calls me. “Wait.”
I turn around, watching Fiz barrel towards me with a harsh look on him. I think he might threaten me again, force me to stay with him or something. I’m amping up to fight, but what he does knocks me back. Literally.
He grabs my face in both his hands and crashes his lips onto mine, pushing me back several steps with the force with which he collides into me.
It’s not romantic, it’s not sexual. It’s heavy with gratitude. Dripping in relief. A chaste kiss you’d maybe want to give a surgeon for a life-saving operation, but my belly still swoops. I don’t close my eyes. He does, though. His lips are rough and dry. His tongue never enters my mouth. Nor does he move to kiss deeper. His lips just glue to mine for several seconds and I’m too completely dumbfounded to move away. This isFiz, for crying out loud. There should be a bite coming, or a wild tongue, orsomething.
But it’s just a desperate thank you. He can’t say the words, so this is his way.
He breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to mine, eyes still closed, still cupping my face. “Good job, princess. I’ll make sure to tell him it was your handy work.”
“Uh, sure,” I say, because I have no idea what else to.
He steps away from me, dark eyes opening again and still no obscenity. No lust or menace. Tiredness, maybe, but definitely gratitude.
Wow, the boy does have feelings. I give him a crooked smile and leave the room. I’ll never tell anyone that my stomach jerked or my heart skipped at the contact. It’s just from lack of affection. That’s all.
CHAPTER 30
FIZ
Elodie excuses herself and leaves me and Caden. I’ve sent a text to Alfie, he’ll be back soon.
I can’t bear to look at him anymore with this guilt threatening to rip me in half, so I let the dogs back out and open the front door. Sarge stays inside with Caden.
I wander back in as Higgins shows up.
He doesn’t say much to me after I explain what happened and he’s checked Caden over. He does say it’s hard to determine if there’s any damage inside now that we’ve sewn him up without proper examination, but all his vitals are good, so he’s reassured we did the right thing.
Once he’s happy Caden’s alright, he says, “Sounds like that girl may have saved his life.”
I chew down on my lip. Look at the stitches, the cannula in his arm. “I couldn’t do it.”
Higgins gives me such a sympathetic look that it lodges a lump in my throat. I look away and shake my head.
His hand comes onto my shoulder. “I know.” When I don’t respond, he adds, “It’s lucky she was here.”
I scoff, blink several times to get rid of the burning there. “Yeah. She was a rockstar, really, like she’d been sewing bodies up all her life.”
Alfie storms in through the front doors so abruptly, Sarge barks a warning sound.
But Alfie takes no notice, rushing over to his cousin on the table, eyes wild and riddled with panic.
I quickly relay the story once more, feeling cold and exhausted.
Alfie slumps down, assesses Caden. “Jesus.”
