I’m used to the physical assault. The choking, the slapping. But my body reacted horrifically to Caden. I put it down to not being touched in any way other than to cause pain. And Caden was not out to cause me pain last night. I don’t care what he was saying, how threatening he was, he lost himself in me last night. And his words before that… I could hear the desire as he looked at me, despite the marks, despite the horrific sight of me, he got aroused. And it was sort of thrilling.
I’m not taking it personally, though. From what they said, they’re currently celibate. It wasn’t my incredible sex appeal any more than it was his own blue balls.
It mortified me that he saw my arousal. He probably thinks he’s got some power over me now, but honestly, anyone probably could have touched me that way and I would have got wet. It’s what happens when you’ve been deprived of it. Same for him, clearly.
Once I’ve caught my breath, I scoot backwards to lean against the bedside table, awareness swimming back to me. I’m still aching terribly, every inch of my body still hurting and sensitive, but before my nightmare, I think I slept beautifully. A couple more of those and I think I’ll resemble somewhat of a normal, functioning human being.
I scrub my face with two hands that are only slightly shaking now.
Last night might have triggered the nightmare, but it still didn’t come close to the real thing. During the situation with Caden, I didn’t feel much fear. I certainly wasn’t flung back into that glowing red room of hell. But who knows? The brain is a wonderfully complex and terrifying thing. Maybe it’s what that Fiz guy did. I mean, whobitesa clit anyway? Let alone someone who’s unconscious! Those two are fucking animals.
While I use the bathroom, my mind drifts back to last night. The utter coldness in Caden’s eyes when he wanted to know where my wounds came from. If I truly am the slut everyone claims me to be. What would it change? Probably everything. I could see it in his face. He won’t have a whore for a wife. There’s no way he can know. If he treats me this way already, God forbid he finds out what I did. I’d be done for. He can think what he wants, I just have to keep my mouth shut and never confirm the truth. He can think it was Dad, even if it wasn’t just him. He can’t exactly kill or do anything to him because he’s part of the business. I’m betting his dad wouldn’t take kindly to that.
I wander downstairs, not sure of who or what I’ll walk into. It’s so weird, walking around in a house where I don’t belong, didn’t grow up in, don’t even know my way around in. I pass all the doors Alfie pointed out to me, the ones he told me not to go in, the one that he told me was his own bedroom. I wonder if he’s still inside, sleeping. I wonder how he looks when he sleeps. If that angel face is even more angelic when he’s dreaming.
Don’t get caught up in this, Elodie,the darkness whispers wearily.
“It was just a thought,” I mutter.
We have a plan.
Right. I shake my head and continue down the hall.
After a couple wrong turns and a few spasms of my joints, I find my way to the kitchen. It’d be good to get some proper food in me, but the thought of it still makes my stomach turn.
I stop in my tracks at the sound of male voices. Flattening myself against the wall and inching closer, I eavesdrop.
“I’m telling you, I can’t deal with it.” That’s Caden.
“Is Cadie admitting he has no self-control?” That’s Fiz, with his ridiculously smooth voice.
Honestly, if he wasn’t such a creepy asshole, I’d find him attractive. He’s very pretty. Flawless complexion, sharp jawline, perfect angles of his cheekbones.
In fact, if he hadn’tbittenmy clit last night, I could admit he looked rather hot between my legs. But… never again.
“Fuck all the way off,” Caden says. “I have self-control. I’m not attracted to her, nor do I have any interest in being near her. It’s the disrespect and the fucking vulgar behaviour I can’t deal with.”
Prince Charming strikes again.
Fiz lets out a wholehearted laugh. “You’re painting her as some vicious beast.”
“Because she is! Did you know she fucking spat in my face last night?”
A splutter of a laugh, then Alfie’s voice comes in. “That’s fucking class.”
“Yeah, the lowest class possible,” Caden mutters.
He really doesn’t like me. I clasp my hand over my mouth to stifle the giggle.
“Ah, don’t be such a sourpuss,” Fiz says. “You’re just annoyed that you’ve found a woman who hasn’t immediately fallen at your feet. But see it for what it is: you have a challenge! A real challenge, it’s wonderful.”
“It’s annoying and unnecessary.”
“Anyway, moving on from this incredibly boring conversation,” Alfie cuts in. “What’s going on today? What are myordersthis time?”
“I don’t know,” Caden says. “I’ve got a day off, so I’m working on the bike. I need a distraction. You do whatever you want with her. Fiz, I need you down at the club. A couple of security things need running over.”
“Me? Why do I have to go? It’s your club,” Fiz whines.
