eighteen
like a mountain range
Maya
“Itwasthemostbeautiful thing I’ve ever seen, guys.Strong, proud, majestic.”Majestic?It wasn’t a mountain range.Though it was awe-inspiring.I waved the thought away.“Anyway, I could barely drag my eyes away.It was like sleep paralysis, except instead of a demon, it was hispenis.”The last word came out as a hiss, and Andie barked a laugh.“This is my nightmare.He is the enemy.The kind of person I hate.A man who turned his back on his family.Why is this happening to me?”
“So you’re saying he has a nice dick?”Sierra asked, barely containing her laughter.
Sierra and Andie giggled as I threw myself onto the couch, flinging an arm over my eyes like the tragic heroine in a historical romance.Was I being overly dramatic?Absolutely.Did I care?Absolutely not.
“You guys don’t get it.I hadfunwhile we were shopping.Fun.It’s horrible.”
“You’re right.We don’t.”Sierra pointed at me with her half-eaten carrot stick.“You don’t date, you don’t go out, and, other than the occasional girls’ night with us, you don’t have a life.You had fun with him, so why not enjoy what Liam has to offer?What he appears to be offering to you, if he stood there naked in your presence after masturbating to dirty, dirty fantasies of you.”
I was beginning to regret telling them about the “fuck, yes” I'd overheard while I was waiting for Liam to get out of the shower, and about how he’d later admitted he’d been thinking about me.They were convinced he’d been fantasizing about me in the shower while …taking care of himself.They were convinced it would be foolish of me not to “get some” while he was still in town.
Like I could casually sleep with a guy.Ha!That was laughable.I would need lessons before having sex again; that's how far out of practice I was.
Wait.Is that a thing?No.Can’t be.Ooh, maybe that’s what a sex therapist does?
“This is no time for a Rickman reverie, Maya.”Sierra interrupted me, forcing me to drag my runaway train of thought back to the track.
“I can’t do that,” I said in a horrified whisper.“What would I even say?‘Why, good evening, sir, would you like to tour my vagina with your penis?Or perhaps you’d enjoy some mutual genital stimulation?’Get real.”I threw my hands up and scoffed, “He’ll think I’ve lost my mind.”
“Well, obviously don’t say it like that,” Andie said with a sympathetic smile.“Anyone would think you were nuts if you propositioned them that way.”
“And don’t use that creepy, old-timey radio announcer voice,” Sierra said.“Jesus, Maya.You have zero game.”
“Of course I have no game!”I flung my arms into the air.My mind dredged up an image of my last, veryunwanted, sexual encounter involving an old boss and a favour that turned out not to be a favour.“The last time I touched a penis, it wasn’t in a friendly way.And before that, it was in high school.I’m sure you can imagine how that went.”I cringed, remembering the fumbling around my high school boyfriend and I did in the dark of his parents’ basement.
“And that’s precisely why you need to jump on Liam’s dick, like,now.”Sierra grinned.“You said he’s packing, and if you’re lucky, he knows what to do with it.You deserve this, Maya.”
“No, I can’t.He’s hot, sure.”Understatement.Liam was unreasonably attractive.His face and body had been a constant source of distraction for me since he first showed up at Bishop’s with Greg and Mr.Fluffy.“But that’s not everything.He’s still the same guy who abandoned Nana for three years.He’s someone who doesn’t appreciate family.”And since I was intimately familiar with what it was like when your family didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t allow it to continue.
Andie glanced at Sierra, placing a hand on her arm before turning back to me.“Maya,” she said slowly, placatingly.“You’ve known us for a couple of years now, right?”
Where did that come from?Apparently, I wasn’t the only one whose train of thought was jumping the track today.
“Uh, yeah.”
Andie exhaled slowly, deliberately, before tilting her face to the ceiling.“Maya, sweetie.You’re not going to like this...”
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Sierra muttered, rolling her eyes.She stood and pulled me into a quick hug.Stepping back, she levelled me with a serious look.“I’m going to rip this bandage off and hope you’re ready to be the kind of person I know you are deep inside.”She took a deep breath and blew it out in a rush.“Maya, in the two years you’ve known us, how often have you seen us go visit our grandmothers?Or any family other than the ones who live in Carlisle Creek, for that matter?”
My jaw dropped.“What—”
“The answer is never,” Andie interrupted.“We haven’t seen our grandmothers in years, either.Like Liam.Does that make us horrible people too?Are you going to stop being friends with us now that you know?”
My stomach dropped.These two, the best friends I’d ever had, just admitted they didn’t value their family.Not like they should.
It went against everything I stood for.
They were waiting for me to say something.To tell them everything was fine.But … I couldn’t.Because everything was not fine.
“I have to go.”I snatched up my things and ran out the door before they could say another word.
The walk home was a blur of rage and heartbreak.How could I not have known that my two best friends—the only two people in the world who meant as much to me as Nana—were as awful to their families as Liam was to his?As mine was to me?
