“Early last summer, she jumped the curb in front of the diner, knocked over a fire hydrant, and somehow rolled to a stop before taking out the outdoor seating area.She said she’d mixed up the gas and brake pedals.”
I gasped.Nana did all that?
“And thank god she stopped, because it was full of people eating brunch when it happened.Nana gave up her license without a fight.That accident terrified her.But from the grimace on your face, I’m guessing this is the first you’re hearing of that, too?”
I shook my head, chuckling, because what else could one do when finding out their Nana had nearly killed a patio full of people, then lost her license because of it?Damn it.Why the hell did I stay away for so long?“I had no idea.Thank god no one was hurt.”I blew out a breath.“I suppose I’m glad she wasn’t forced to find storage for it or to sell it herself.I can’t imagine Nana hopping on Facebook Marketplace to list her car.”
Maya laughed softly, sliding into the driver’s seat as I climbed in beside her.
The instant my ass hit the seat, I groaned, all other thoughts driven from my mind.The soft, velvety fabric of the world’s comfiest recliner cradled my ass, a luxury I remembered from trips to the city with Nana during summer visits.A guy could get used to travelling this way.It sure as hell beats compact cars and economy airplane seats.
“So, what’s on the agenda today?”I asked as Maya steered the enormous car away from the curb.“What exciting thing are we doing?”
“You’re in luck,” she said with a grin, as she glanced at me from the corner of her eye.“It’s Costco day.”
I groaned internally.Shopping?I couldn’t think of a worse way to spend an afternoon.But Maya’s smile was contagious, and there was no way I’d be ruining that.
I slapped on a smile and feigned enthusiasm.“Yay, Costco!”
“Oh, and let’s get these, too.”Maya grabbed a plastic jar filled with neon orange cheese balls and wedged it between the other items in the already overloaded cart.“You can never have too many cheese balls, am I right?”She blended the words into one, making them sound likeamiright.
“I can’t remember the last time I ate a cheese ball.”I eyed the jar skeptically.“Glow in the dark powdered cheese doesn’t really sound all that appetizing.”
While she continued down the aisle, I inspected the contents of the cart.Something didn’t add up.“Uh, Maya?What is this stuff?Where are you going to put it all?”
“Oh … uh.”She bit her lip and glanced away.“I have some shelves in my apartment.”
“Ha!Those must be some shelves.”Her face fell, so I rushed to change the subject.“Anyway, I thought this shopping trip was bookstore business.Nothing in this cart looks like it’s for the store.”
She scanned the cart, her eyes widening as her lips pressed into a thin line of mock surprise.“Huh.Would you look at that?”She ambled down the aisle with no further explanation, leaving me to push the cart.“Come on, Liam.We don’t have all day.”
We reached another section, and she loaded a box of printer paper onto the bottom rack of the cart.“There.Now we have something for the store,” she said with a sly grin.“Happy?”
I chuckled.“What do you plan on doing with the rest of this stuff?Why do you need an industrial-sized box of crackers, a cinderblock of cheddar, andthis vat of lotion?Wait a minute.”Narrowing my eyes, I asked, “Is this some sort ofSilence of the Lambsscenario?Are you planning to soften me up before turning me into a skin suit?”
She snapped her fingers.“That reminds me.I need a hose, some rope, and maybe a new basket.”
“Real funny, Buffalo Bill,” I deadpanned.“Who knew you were such a comedian?”
Her grin lit up her face as she walked away yet again.Not that I was complaining.With the way her jeans hugged her ass, she could walk away from me all day and I would follow heranywhere.
I liked this side of Maya.Playful.Silly.Smiling.Sure, the joke involved turning me into a skin suit, but that was a small price to pay.It was still a massive improvement over the open hostility and death threats she normally sent my way.
Okay, who was I kidding?I was a fan of the hostility.And the death threats.
“Keep up, Bishop!We have a few more aisles to get through before we can leave.”Maya called from the end of the aisle, where she’d stopped to grab a giant box of pens.“See?”she said, shaking the box in the air.“The store always needs more pens.That makes two things.”
A few aisles later, an opportunity presented that was too perfect to pass up.I let Maya get farther ahead, then grabbed a box and yelled, “Should we get more condoms, honey?The case we bought last week is almost empty.I’d hate to cancel a party because we’d used all the condoms ahead of time.”
Her face flushed red, but then her grin snapped right back into place.“Good thinking, sweetheart.Grab some lube while you’re at it.You’ll want to make sure you’re nice and lubricated before we start the pegging.That’s the key to making sure you have areallygood time.”
I choked on a laugh, my face catching fire as the people nearby turned to stare.I walked right into that one.Maya smirked, mimed wiping dust off her shoulders, and strutted away, leaving me to navigate the gauntlet of prudish stares alone.I suppose I deserved it.Plus, the judgmental faces of the other shoppers were hilarious.
By the time we’d hit every aisle in the store, Maya had stacked our cart so full I couldn’t see over it.She had to take the lead, steering from the front while I pushed the bulky weight from the back.My shoulders hadn’t had this good a workout in years.Maybe trips to the warehouse store weren’t so bad after all.Could I replace my costly gym membership with shopping trips?
“That was not cheaper than a gym membership.”I muttered when we finally reached the car.“Why did we park so far from the doors?”
“We’re driving a land yacht.It’s impossible to park this thing in a single parking space.”Maya’s jeans hugged her ass as she bent over to arrange our purchases in the car’s trunk, giving me a newfound appreciation for stretch denim.
