Chapter 16 - Becca - Hideously Disfigured
“No! No, no, no, no, no!” I cross off the entry in my agenda with aggressive strokes, black ink spreading, the tip of the pen ripping the paper. Throwing my pen across the room, I lean back in my chair and push my palms into my eyes, harshly rubbing away the wetness building there.
I didn’t think much of it when the first cancellation called me. That happens sometimes with weddings. Someone gets cold feet, someone cheats, someone dies. I’ve heard it all before, so I’m not often surprised when I get one or two cancellations a season.
Six cancellations in the last month, though? That’s something to be concerned about. It appears as though my run-in with Mrs. Carmichael was not without immediate consequences, after all. The weddings that have cancelled on me so far have all gone out of their way to say they’re friends with her. Not only did that incident destroy my chances of booking up solid next year, it’s quite possibly destroyed my entire career as a wedding photographer.
Fuck.
I’m going to have to get a regular job. Ugh. I really don’t want to do that. Not only am I not qualified for anything remotely interesting, now that I’ve worked for myself, I don’t relish the thought of working for someone else.
Maybe I can advertise for some family portrait sessions to tide me over until I book some more weddings? There has to be something I can do to make this work. I’ve already given up what I really wanted to do with photography. I can’t let my back-up plan fail, too.
Mind made up, I pull my laptop closer to me. I spend about an hour updating my website and making some new graphics advertising the family sessions. Once I’ve got them posted to all my social media platforms, and my scheduling link is up and running, I close up the laptop. Leaning back in my chair, I close my eyes and throw up a little request to the universe to let this plan work out. I can use all the help I can get.
Leaving everything where it is on the kitchen table, I get up and head to the shower to get ready for my day. I stupidly promised mom I would go over and help her with something. I don’t know what she has planned for me, but I know that whatever it is, I hate it already.
When I pull up to mom’s house, I see there are two other vehicles parked there already.I wonder who’s here?When I walk up the steps and open the door, I hear loud laughter coming from the back of the house. She must not have chores for me to do if she’s entertaining guests right now. Something tells me that’s no better than chores, though.
I find mom and her guests out on the back patio, enjoying the late summer sun.
“Oh Rebecca, there you are. Come here, darling.” Mom motions me to where she’s sitting on the far side of the table. “I have someone I’d like you to meet.”
Uh oh. Something feels weird about this. Mom never introduces me to people. She’s avoided it ever since I was old enough to stay home alone and she no long had to take me out in public.
“This is Jeff,” she says, indicating the older man sitting directly across from her. He holds his hand out for me to shake, but I just give him a little wave instead. “And this is Jeff’s son, Roger.” She gestures to the other, slightly younger man in the seat opposite to the empty chair meant for me. A strange gleam appears in her eye, and she smiles at me.
Fuck. She’s trying to set me up. What the hell is she thinking?
“Mom? Can I speak to you in the kitchen for a minute?” I grab her elbow and drag her along behind me, pulling her through the french doors into the kitchen before shutting them on our guests. I turn a glare on my mom. “Um, what the hell are you thinking?”
She has the audacity to look offended, like she isn’t the same person who’s been telling me all my life it’s better to rely on myself than to worry about trying to have a man around. It’s been drilled into me since I was four years old that no man would want to tie himself to me, so I shouldn’t even bother.
“Well, Rebecca, it’s occurred to me recently that maybe you’re lonely. I thought you might still try to find a partner, even with your… disfigurement. Love is blind after all.” Mild disgust paints her features, as though the idea that love is blind leaves a bad taste in her mouth.
“Okay, great. Wonderful,” I whisper, not wanting to be rude to the men outside, even if I have exactly zero interest in seeing either one of them ever again. “What does that have to do with you? And more importantly, what does that have to do with Jeff and Roger out there?”
She brings a hand up to rest her palm on her chest. “Well,” she huffs. “I thought I was doing you a favour. But I see how ungrateful you are. Just like you are about everything else I’ve done for you all your life. This is just another thing to add to the list of sacrifices I’ve made for you. I suppose I should have known you would have this reaction. After all, when have you ever appreciated anything I’ve ever done for you?” She sniffles, her eyes shiny with unshed, and almost certainly fake, tears.
Great, here comes the guilt trip. I swear my mother should win an Oscar for how well she guilt trips me. I know that’s what it is. I know it’s all an act, and yet I always end up falling for it. Just like I am now.
“I’m sorry, mom. I know you’re just trying to help. I was surprised, that’s all. If I’d known this was a date, I’d have dressed a little nicer.” I wave my hand, gesturing to my scruffy looking outfit of jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt with a threadbare sweatshirt over top. “This isn’t exactly my nicest date outfit.” I smile, trying to bring her around. If I can’t get her to cheer up now, I’ll be sucking up for days, maybe even a week.
“Hmmph.” She crosses her arms and turns away from me, leaving me scrambling to get in front of her so she’ll look at me.
“I mean it, Mom. Thank you for thinking of me. I’m sorry I reacted so poorly to the surprise. Will you forgive me?” Please, please, please, forgive me. “Can we go back out to the deck now? It would be rude of me to detain you, and to make those gentlemen wait any longer.”
She spins around and walks back to the french doors, throwing them open with a flourish. “Boys, so sorry to keep you waiting. Rebecca wanted to apologize for dressing so atrociously today. She’s not very fashionable, as you can see.” She glides back to the tables and slips into her seat. “But what can you expect, really? There’s not much she can do about it when the poor dear has to keep her hideously scarred body hidden from innocent eyes.”
Oh goody, we’ve progressed to the ‘discussing my hideous body’ portion of the date already. I might just make it home in time for dinner. In fact…
“Before I forget,” I say with as much false remorse as I can muster as I lower myself into my seat, “I promised Alex I would help her with something at her new place later this afternoon. She’s promised me dinner in exchange.”
“Well, of course, dear. Such a good friend Alex has been to you all these years. And so selfless of her.” She gives me a pat on the leg, with enough force to be just shy of a slap. Yup, she’s mad. She leans conspiratorially across the table, whispering to the men. “Alex is a truly beautiful girl. She could have been the most popular girl at school, but her heart is so big that she chose to befriend my poor Rebecca instead. Why, if it weren’t for Rebecca, I’m sure Alex would have been prom queen, maybe even dated the captain of the football team.”
The guys are nice enough to snicker politely at mom’s story, but they still manage to look uncomfortable. At least they have enough awareness to realize that my mother’s behaviour isn’t kind. I don’t give a shit about that though, since they’re taking turns looking at me with the morbid curiosity one would expect to see expressed at an old-fashioned circus sideshow, not at a relatively normal looking person who’s sitting right in front of them.
Well, normal looking enough when my skin is fully covered, anyway.
I may not be as hideously disfigured as my mom thinks I am, but I’m certainly no porcelain skinned goddess either.
I have a feeling the next few hours are going to drag.
