“I really am sorry. I panicked. I don’t, uh, do that a lot, or ever really, and we forgot a condom, and I can’t ever allow myself to have kids, and I’ve never forgotten before, and I just couldn’t believe how dumb—”
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down.” Rhea interrupts my rambling monologue. “First off, I have an IUD. I was also recently checked, so I’m clean and disease free.”
“That’s great, but IUDs can fail. Like if they slip out of position? I read a book once where part of the IUD poked the guy in the dick and pierced the condom and the chick got pregnant.” I’m relieved that she’s clean, I guess, but honestly, the only thing I’ve been worried about is the threat of possible pregnancy. That and the fact that I really think I could like this woman. For real. That is what’s most dangerous for me.
“I shouldn’t even be bothering to console you, given how you made me feel, but I saw my gyno recently and my IUD is still where it should be. We’re fine. You can relax. I won’t be chasing you down for child support or anything like that.” She chugs the rest of her drink and leans back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest.
“Well, um… Thank you for telling me. That helps.”
The server comes by before either of us can say anything else, delivering the first course of our specially prepared meal. We didn’t even have to order. Marcus took it upon himself to prepare a special meal for us.
“Is that all you have to say?” Rhea hisses at me when the server leaves again.
“No,” I whisper back. “I was waiting until she left again, so we could continue our conversation privately.” I take a deep breath. “I’m truly sorry for leaving so quickly after we had sex. And I’m sorry for ranting the entire time I was leaving.”
Rhea’s face rapidly turns red, and her mouth takes on a sneer.
“You’re sorry for ‘leaving quickly’?” She makes air quotes. “You blew your load and shot off me like a cork out of a bottle, and you’re ‘sorry for leaving quickly’?” She huffs an angry laugh, drawing the attention of other diners. “I can’t believe you.”
“What more do you want me to say?” I whisper, trying to get this conversation under control before we attract too much attention. “I am sorry. I wish it hadn’t happened like that. I’ve never lost control before. My entire life I’ve been entirely focused on not passing on my genes, and one stupid mistake with you—”
“Stupid mistake?” She yells, standing up abruptly, banging her lap against the table and causing our drink and water glasses to slosh. “That’s all I was, hey? Just a stupid mistake? Jesus, I should have known better than to expect an actual apology from you.” She grabs her drink glass, and winds up throwing a couple of half melted ice cubes into my lap. “Of course it’s fucking empty,” she complains, looking at the ceiling before grabbing my drink and dumping it over my head. “There. That’s what I think of your apology.”
She grabs a napkin and wipes her hands while I just stare with my mouth hanging open. This isn’t how I expected this to go. Probably should have chosen a less public place.
I turn to watch her stomp away. Even as angry as she is, I can’t help but notice how strong her back looks in the open back of that dress. Or how incredible her legs look in those heels.
My dick notices too, choosing this moment to get hard, just as Marcus storms out of the kitchen and over to where I’m sitting.
“Well, well, well,” Marcus smiles and tosses me a towel. “Looks like that went real well.”
“It was a complete disaster,” I say. “I don’t even know what more I can do. I said sorry.” I do my best to dry my face and hair, letting the liquid soak into my clothes rather than bother with it.
I give Marcus a quick rundown on the situation and when I get to the part where I apologized and Rhea got mad, he starts to laugh. Like a big, booming, belly laugh, that has him doubling over and holding his stomach, begging me to stop.
“You pulled the ultimate fuck and chuck, and thought you could just buy dinner and say sorry?” He wipes tears from his eyes and gets his laughter under control. “Who the hell told you that would work?”
“Two friends of ours helped me come up with the plan,” I say lamely. Thinking it over now, it really doesn’t seem like something that would have worked. I should have asked Alex and Denise maybe, or even Gran. Scratch that, not Gran. Last time she helped Ryder apologize to Denise, she convinced him to propose. Who knows what kind of stunt she’d have come up with in this situation.
“Well, either your friends are stupid, or they weren’t aware of the severity of the situation.” Marcus sits across from me in Rhea’s vacant chair. “So what are you going to do about it?”
I lean back in my chair. “I don’t even know,” I say. “Is it even possible to make up for that?”
“I mean, I’m not going to say that you’ll definitely be able to make it work. But if you really want her to forgive you, then you’re going to have to at least try something really big.”
Maybe it would be better if she didn’t forgive me? Then I wouldn’t have to worry about this attraction I’m feeling for her. It wouldn’t matter all how I feel since she’s so mad at me, the way I feel won’t make a difference. It should be easy enough to avoid her for a little while, too. If I skip Sunday dinners for a few weeks, and I avoid the coffee shop, I’ll have almost a month to forget about her. There’s nothing that says just because I’m thinking about having a relationship for the first time, that I actually need to make it happen. I should just stick to my original plan of staying alone, never passing on my genes, and working to help mothers and kids out of situations like I was in before it’s too late for them.
“Thanks, Marcus. I’ll think about that. Let me just settle up and I’ll get out of here, give you back your table.”
Marcus waves the server over for me before heading back to the kitchen and I pass her my credit card. I leave her a nice tip even though we didn’t end up staying for the full meal. No sense in her missing out because I’m an idiot. After I sign the bill, I stuff my hands in my pockets and head out the door.
My mind is filled with thoughts of Rhea, and I don’t notice anything again until I’m pulling into my driveway. The sooner I get her out of my head, the better. I’ve been nothing but distracted since I saw her on the sidewalk that day. I don’t even remember getting into my car and driving home tonight. That can’t be good.
It’s early still, so I strip off my jacket, settle into my recliner, and start up a video game. And that’s where I sit, zoned out, for the next half hour until I drag my sorry ass to bed.
Too bad I can’t relax enough to sleep. Instead, I go over Rhea’s angry outburst in my head, and allow myself to bathe in the shame of making her feel that way. I really am sorry, and I really do care that I hurt her.
But it’s better for both of us if I let her stay angry so we can both move on. She deserves someone who will be with her one hundred percent, not someone who’s too afraid of his nature to give himself fully to her.
