“I have a friend flying a drone over tomorrow when it’s light out so we can see how it looks all in one go. The trouble with dicks of this magnitude is it’s hard to picture them as a complete unit.”
I snort back a laugh. I must be delirious, because this shit is hilarious. Aiden is standing beside me with the goofiest grin on his face. He looks so adorably proud of himself that Ialmostforget I’m pissed at him for that popping out of my vag and running away screaming routine that he pulled earlier.
Almost. But not quite.
Yeah, that shit still stings. A lot.
“That’s nice. I think it’s time we all get moving along, though. I know how you like to complete your task and run. Try not to scream like a child this time.” I stomp back to Kaden, my anger at Aiden burning hotter with every step. “Let’s go.”
I leave them all standing there, and when I get to the truck and look back, I see Aiden standing with his mouth hanging open. Good.
I’m tired of feeling this back and forth with him. I hope he feels bad for a long time.
The giant dick on the lawn isn’t the only giant dick around here.
Chapter 26
Aiden - Hangover Cures
“What exactly did you mean when you said you showed her your dick?” Kaden asks, but I’m too busy watching Rhea walk away to answer. “When the hell did you do that?”
“Huh? Oh. I didn’t.” Rhea already told me that Kaden is like the brother she never had. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to know what we got up to earlier today. And he really wouldn’t want to know the circumstances of how I left her place in such a hurry. Because I left like a giant dick.
Kind of like this masterpiece that Johnny and I created on this dude’s lawn.
The guys have always thought of me as the responsible guy in the group, partly because I’m the oldest, and partly because I’ve always presented a more serious side of myself to them. My family died when I was eighteen, so I had to be responsible for myself. It always translated into me working harder, taking on more than the other guys. But when we started making money with our music, I began using some of it to dole out my own version of justice. What I’ve been calling my side-business is really just my way of being immature and petty, but for a good cause.
Right now, though, it feels like I need to do something like this to myself because of how I treated Rhea today. This asshole may have gotten her fired, but I treated her like garbage because of my own hang-ups. I pretty much kicked her when she was down. I wonder if there’s a store open right now where I could buy a giant inflatable penis to set up on my roof? I’m sure I deserve it.
Kaden shakes his head and walks toward his truck, where Rhea is waiting for him in the passenger seat. I wonder if he knows she thinks of him like a brother, or if he wishes there were more. Maybe now that they’re not partners and working together, he’ll make his move.
Mine!Some insane part of me screams out at the thought of Rhea with Kaden. A part of me that seems to have forgotten I can never have anyone be mine.
No, dumbass. She’s not mine. I thought we already went over this.
Of course, then I went ahead and slept with her anyway, like an asshole.
I watch until the lights from Kaden’s truck turn the corner and I can’t see them anymore. I’m not sure what Rhea thought of the giant dick I made in her honour, but I hope she doesn’t report me for it. Fucking Devon, calling them and getting them here. Having cops in my side-business isn’t a good thing. It may just be petty vandalism and destruction of property, but it’s still not something I want to go down for. If I’d taken the time to plan this out like I usually do, I wouldn’t have had to worry about getting caught.
I wonder what kind of time a guy would do for as much vandalism as I’ve done over the years? I’ve never signed it or anything, but it would be pretty easy to track down if a person were so inclined. How many giant salt dicks do you have to see before you start thinking that maybe the same person is responsible?
“Are you all done there, Johnny?” I yell out. “It’s time to get going.” All the whiskey we drank is catching up to me. The water and coffee we had at my place must not have sobered me up as much as I’d hoped. My thoughts were fuzzy before, but the world is spinning on me now, and I would hate it if Devon had to carry me home. Would serve the fucker right, though, for calling Rhea and Kaden.
Somehow I find my way back to the Escalade, even though Devon moved it a few blocks further away while we were doing the salt outlining. Either that or I am so much drunker than I thought. I pull myself up into the back seat and spread myself all the way across, barely getting my head down before all that’s left is blackness.
* * *
“Good morning, my beautiful ladies!”
Someone is screaming in my ear while using a saw on my skull, but I can’t seem to force my eyes open against the blinding light surrounding me.Where am I?
“Drink this and then get your asses up. We’ve got work to do.”
I peel one eyelid open with my fingers and look around. At first, all I can see is industrial light fixtures hanging above me.So that’s where the blinding light is coming from. I look over to my left and Johnny is lying there in just as rough of shape as I am. I’m not positive, but it looks like he might have both eyes open. He’s lying on the ground, staring straight up, though, so it’s hard to tell. I roll to my stomach and push my hands under me, against what feels like rubber of some sort. I force both eyes open wide, and I see that it’s black rubber flooring, like in a gym. Pushing myself to a sitting position, I take another look at my surroundings. There’s an octagonal ring in one corner, treadmills, rowing machines, and stationary bikes on one wall, and a section with weights and machines on another wall.
So wearein a gym.
“I don’t have all day, sunshine,” a gruff sounding voice says from somewhere above me. “Get off your ass, drink this drink, and get ready to work the rest of the liquor out of you. Ryder, go get a couple of buckets from the janitor’s closet. I have a feeling these two shitheads are going to need them.”
