“Hi, Denise. I definitely remember you. That arrest was probably the highlight of my career, thanks to Gran and Gladys.” I laugh at the thought of them and their teacups full of whiskey, their feet resting on the man they had tied up on the floor.
“Yeah, that was pretty funny. Especially since no one got hurt during the whole ordeal.” Gran leans over and pats Denise’s hand while she talks. “But anyway, that over there is Becca, Alex’s bestie,” Denise says, and points to a heavily tattooed woman with chin length black hair and dark eye makeup standing at the counter near Alex. “And of course you already know Xena, and Gran too, apparently. Then there’s Ivy, my assistant slash replacement slash knight in shining armour.”
“I just do the stuff that Denise is too pregnant to deal with. There’s nothing very heroic about it,” Ivy smiles, brushing off the compliment. “I’m just incredibly lucky that Denise decided to give me a job rather than kick my ass when I stupidly tried to give Ryder my phone number right in front of her.”
“Great, introductions are out of the way. Now about Aiden.” Alex comes over and sits at the table. “Are you guys together? Hooking up? What’s the scoop?” She puts her elbows up on the table and rests her face in her hands. “I need some details.”
“Aiden hasn’t dated anyone in all the years I’ve known him. His official stance is that he doesn’t date.” Denise explains to Alex, and to me too, I guess. “Even in the wild years back when the band first got popular, Aiden was always the quiet one, normally going back to his hotel room alone.”
“Oh, horseshit,” Gran says. “Just because he hasn’t doesn’t mean he won’t. And the way he looks at this woman right here,” she says while pointing at me, “tells me he’s more interested than he wants to think.”
Xena walks in just as I’m about to protest this strange conversation, and interrupts with her take on the situation.
“Oh, are you guys talking about Aiden and Rhea? Don’t you think they’ll be so cute together? You should have seen them yesterday, when they were wearing each other’s clothes.” She clasps her hands together and holds them to her cheek, fluttering her eyelashes the whole time. “I think it’s true love y’all.”
“I thought that was his shirt you were wearing,” Gran accuses. “And I guess those must’ve been his pants, too? They were way too big for you, dear. You should pack yourself a bag when you’re having an adult freaky-deaky fun-time sleepover, you know.”
At this point, I’m not sure if I should defend myself, laugh it off, or give up and run away. These women all seem invested in my love life, almost as though Xena has talked to them about my cobwebby vagina. Xena is the only female friend I’ve ever really had, so sitting in a room full of women who all have an opinion on who I let into my lady garden is a little overwhelming.
“Thank you, all of you, really, for your concern, but whatever you think is or is not happening between me and Aiden is really none of anyone’s business. I’m a grown ass woman. I can handle my own love life, thank you very much.”
They all look properly stricken, heads down, avoiding eye contact, and I think I’ve managed to get them to back off when suddenly they all burst into laughter, all at once.
“Oh, honey,” Becca, the one with all the tattoos and the generally dark vibe, says, “you’re one of us now. Your love life is everyone’s business, I’m afraid. It’s probably even scheduled on Ivy’s calendar to check in on you two sometime.” Ivy nods in agreement, like she does, in fact, have it booked already.
Alex jumps in. “Just wait, as soon as we’re done with you, we’ll be talking to Becca about Johnny.” She winks over at Becca while everyone laughs some more. Everyone except for Becca.
“Thatison today’s agenda, actually,” Ivy jokes. “I’ve got you pencilled in for six o’clock.”
“Look, that really is none of your business. I’m serious,” Becca practically snarls and points a warning finger at everyone around the table. “Stay out of it.”
The laughter just gets louder, and I remember something that Aiden mentioned.
“Oh, so you’re the baking muse Aiden was talking about? The reason that Johnny has crazy baking marathons?” I ask Becca, ignoring the giggling band of crazies who are still laughing so hard they’re struggling to breathe.
“What do you mean, ‘baking marathons’? Johnny doesn’t bake.” Alex has calmed herself down enough to join in the conversation. “He’s never baked for me.” She sticks her lip out in a pout.
“Oh, I mean, that’s just what Aiden told me. Maybe I misheard?” I hope I didn’t just spill this guy’s secret. We’ve never even met, and I’m already dragging skeletons out of his closet.
“No, Rhea’s right. He bakes when he’s stressed. I keep telling him I don’t want a relationship and he’s upset about it. So he bakes and brings most of it to Aiden for the shelter.”
For the shelter? Aiden didn’t mention that.
“What do you mean, he brings it to Aiden for the shelter?”
“I volunteer at a local domestic violence shelter. I bring Johnny’s baked goods for the moms and kids that are using our services there. A home baked treat goes a long way when I’m making friends with kids who’ve just had their whole life uprooted. I usually play with the kids while their moms talk to the director in private.” Aiden just walked into the kitchen, followed by what must be the rest of the guys in the band.
“And I do the baking.” A man who I’m guessing is Johnny comes over and offers me his hand. “I’m Johnny. It’s nice to meet you.” He looks back at Aiden. “You’re right man, she is hot.” He turns back and winks at me, not in a creepy way, more in an ‘I’m letting you in on the joke’ way. Becca stares daggers into the back of his head, leading me to believe there’s more there than she is willing to admit.
Another man steps up to me. This one I recognize is Ryder. “We’ve met before. I’m Ryder. You know Devon.” He points back to where Devon stands. “The soulless ginger is Travis, and the ugly one over with Alex, is Connor.”
“Fuck off, Ryder,” Connor says, laughing.
“Um, hello? Wife? You’re supposed to be protecting me when these assholes tell me to fuck off. Did your vows mean nothing?” Ryder looks at Denise, palms up, eyes wide, questioning where his backup is.
“Yeah, I think I need to amend that vow,” she says. “I will defend you if you don’t deserve it when they say it. This time you deserved it.”
Everyone around the tables laughs while Ryder pouts his way over to Denise. He bends down to kiss her and then he’s smiling again. I guess love really does conquer all.
