“Well, that is stupid. I’m sure you could figure something out. Oh, I know! You could take her on a date and be her alibi and we could do it.” Gladys hops off her stool, surprisingly spry for a woman approaching eighty years old.
“Um, what are we talking about here? I don’t want anyone taking revenge on my behalf. The law will catch up to him, eventually.”
“Pardon me, Rhea, but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that the law doesn’t always work in favour of the victims. Sometimes a person needs to take justice into their own hands.”
“I have to disagree with you on that. That’s vigilantism, and it does more harm than good. It’s best to leave law enforcement to the professionals.” I’m a little worked up. I may not be a cop anymore, but I was for years, and it has always bothered me when people think they should take the law into their own hands. “Is that really something you do, Aiden?”
He at least has the decency to look a little uncomfortable. “Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. I don’t really see it as taking the law into my own hands, though. It’s more like, giving a victim a sense of justice, in instances where the law has already failed them. It’s not like I’m running around under cover of darkness, doing the job of the police for them. I’m not trying to be Batman, or anything.”
Silence descends on the table, with none of us saying a word. This is a touchy subject, and I think we’re all a little uncomfortable. I know I am.
“Well, that’s enough of that. Aiden, did you know that the girls and I have been taking some new burlesque classes? When are you coming by so we can show you our new moves?”
Aiden chokes out a laugh. “I don’t know, Gran,” he says. “I don’t think I’ve quite recovered from the pudding wrestling from last time. I might need just a little more time.”
“Hmmm, well, just make sure you come see us before you lock down this cutie,” Gladys says, pointing at me. “I wouldn’t want to be forced to give up my dick quest before I’ve accomplished it, like I had to when Ryder married Denise.”
Aiden shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, Rhea. I didn’t mean to subject you to these crazies. I promise. And Gladys, you should just give up that quest now. I’m not showing you my dick.”
“Oh you never mind,” Lana reaches over and playfully slaps Aiden’s arm. “We haven’t even been that bad today, and you know it.” She grins.
“I am so lost,” I say, looking between the four of them. Gladys wants to see Aiden’s dick? I mean, I don’t blame her, it is a pretty nice dick. But she’s got to be nearly eighty years old. What’s she going to do with a much younger man’s penis?
At the sight of my bewildered face, they all start laughing, and Lana grabs my hand.
“You’ll get used to it, honey. The more time you spend with Aiden, the more you’ll see us. And we are damn delightful.” She looks to the other two ladies for confirmation. “Isn’t that right, girls?”
All together the three of them yell, “Go Titties!” and punch their fists into the air and I just can’t hold it in anymore. I burst into laughter. Unfortunately, it’s immediately after taking a drink, and I spit a mouthful of water all over Aiden.
Shit.
Chapter 16
Aiden - She Deserves Better
“Gah! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Aiden,” Rhea says, while she leans over the table and tries to dry my face with napkins. “I can’t believe I did that.”
The three ladies who caused this commotion are laughing away, like I didn’t just get showered with saliva laced water.
“You don’t need to apologize. The blame lies with these three lunatics here.” I point to the three ladies in question.
“Why on earth did you guys yell ‘Go Titties’?” Rhea asks. She’s given up trying to wipe me off. My face is OK, but my shirt has seen better days.
“It’s their cheer,” I tell her. “They’re the terrible trio. The initials are T.T. which they’ve, of course, adapted to titties, so now they call themselves the titty club. And trust me, they are not delightful.”
Gran leans in close and smooches me on the cheek. “It’s been fun, Aiden, but the titty club needs to get on with our meeting. We’ll leave you to your date.” She turns to Rhea. “It was lovely to see you again, Rhea. Please do come and join us for tea at Peaceful Pines one of these days. Make Aiden bring you. He doesn’t visit nearly enough.”
The terrible trio, or the titty club, as they call themselves, gets up in unison and goes to sit in a booth a little further away from us.
“That was interesting,” Rhea leans over and whispers. “Those women are funny.”
“You have no idea,” I murmur back. “They are three of the most bizarre, inappropriate, and hilarious women I’ve ever met. Although Gladys’s obsession with seeing my dick isn’t really hilarious. I almost wish Ryder and Denise hadn’t gotten married so that she’d still be obsessed with him and his dick.” And it’s too bad I’ll never get married, because now she’s going to be obsessed with my dick forever.
“Why is she obsessed with your… you know?” She asks, while gesturing toward my lap. “Seems kind of weird for a lady her age to be thinking about that.”
“These ladies are nothing like any ladies you’ve seen before. You remember the scene when Denise’s ex tried to hurt Gran. These women are like no grannies I’ve heard of. I love them. I just wish they wouldn’t worry so much about what’s in my pants.”
Rhea’s face goes a little red. “Well, I could always let her know what I found during my little cover up manoeuvre in the upstairs hallway earlier today. Maybe that would hold them off for a bit?”
