“Yes but, if you had the money to buy your own bus you’d probably also have the money to stay in hotels more often. Then you’d have the chance to scrub off really well after shows and the bus wouldn’t ever get that smelly.” I may have put some thought into this over all the weeks I’ve spent inhaling the smell of six sweaty dudes on a bus.
“Hmmmm, that’s definitely something to consider.” His eyebrows scrunch up a little. “Do you want to grab a coffee with me? We can sit and talk?”
“Ummm.” I’m not sure this is a good idea. But at least in public I don’t have to worry about having a repeat of the other day. Ishouldbe able to control myself if there’s an audience. “Yeah, sure. That sounds nice. Let me go pay for my stuff.” I hold up my basket again. “And I’ll meet you there. Grab me a peppermint mocha please, with extra whipped cream?”
“You bet. See you in a few minutes.”
I take my basket to the checkout and have the cashier double wrap my pregnancy books, just to make sure Ryder won’t be able to see them through the bag. He’ll need to know eventually, but I am not ready for that conversation today. Whatever we are talking about, I can guarantee it will not be what is currently growing in my uterus.
By the time I get back to the cafe, Ryder has already bought our drinks and found us a table. I don’t see him right away because I’m expecting him to still be in line, so he has to call me over.
“Denise,” he calls out loudly enough to be heard over the noise of the coffee shop. “Over here.” He’s halfway standing up and waving me over.
I push through the crowd and go to the table where he’s sitting. Why do they make these places so small? There’s hardly any room between tables and this place is packed. I’m surprised Ryder found us a place to sit, to be honest. He probably had to swipe it as someone was getting up.
“Hey, thanks.” I say, picking up my mocha and taking a small sip to test how hot it is. I made the mistake once of taking a big sip, letting the coolness of the whipped cream fool me into thinking the temperature of the drink was acceptable. It was only once the burning hot liquid burned my tongue and the roof of my mouth that I realized that was not the case. That was a painful lesson to learn. It happened at my friend Xena’s coffee shop, Bump & Grind, too, so it’s not like I could even sue. It was lucky for her though that it happened to me instead of an actual customer.
“Still doing the test sip, hey?” I forgot Ryder was there when that happened. He’s the one who ran back into the coffee shop to get me a cup full of ice water to help cool my mouth.
“Oh yes,” I reply with a small smile. “I will never make that mistake again. Did you know that the roof of my mouth actually peeled? And it apparently wasn’t even that severe of a burn. I’d hate to know what a worse one feels like.”
“I didn’t know that. But you ate only smoothies for a while after it happened, so I probably should have realized something was up. You like your food too much to subsist on a liquid diet without a reason.”
I laugh a little. “I suppose that’s true, isn’t it? Thanks again for sending over the ramen the other day. It was delicious.”
“Oh yeah, you’re welcome.” He runs a hand through his hair while he looks down at the table. “Listen, about that day… I’ve been meaning to apologize, but I wanted to give you some time first. What I did was incredibly inappropriate. I am so sorry I put you in that situation. You were there with Andrew, and that’s not my business. I had no right to try to start something with you, especially not like that.”
I was not expecting that at all. Ryder apologizing was probably the last thing on my list of things that he would want to talk to me about. But I can’t say that I don’t appreciate it.
“Forgiven and forgotten,” I say, much to his relief if the look on his face is anything to go by. “You were looking out for me as a friend, with the Andrew thing, and then it got way out of hand. Let’s just not talk about it anymore, OK?” Not that I really minded. That was the best orgasm of my life.
“OK, sure. If that’s what you want. But Denise, and please forgive me for this too, I think you deserve better than Andrew. If he doesn’t love the amazing woman you are, right now, just like this,” he gestures towards all of me, “then he shouldn’t get to have you at all. You’re perfect and you deserve to have someone who understands that and loves you the way you are.”
I grin before I can stop myself. It feels good, but a little weird to have Ryder describe me this way.
“You have nothing to be sorry for with that, Ryder. You’re right. I do deserve better than that. I just wish I’d figured it out sooner, before all this went down. But I did finally figure it out.” He looks up at me with a smile. “I realized I didn’t actually want to try again with Andrew after all.”
“Does this have anything to do with that pink monstrosity you were wearing the other day?” He chuckles, lightening the mood. In between laughs he adds, “You look gorgeous in anything, but shit! You looked so uncomfortable in that.”
I join in his laughter. I did look ridiculous. Like another version of myself entirely. “I know, right?! I felt like I was in a different body, not just different clothes. And those shoes! I could hardly walk in them. I either do sky high heels or flat sneakers, there is no in between.”
“I noticed that too. I don’t understand how you can walk in those,” he points down at the platform stilettos booties I’m currently wearing, “but not in those other ones that had a much lower heel.”
“It doesn’t make sense to me either, but it’s the way it is.” It’s nice just talking to Ryder like this. When he’s not doing the whole party-boy routine, he’s actually a good guy. I just hope we’ll be able to stay friends when he finds out about the baby. I would hate to learn that he’s just my friend when he thinks there’s a chance for something more. Because I can’t allow that to happen, not with a baby on the way. That wouldn’t be fair to him, no matter what Alex thinks.
“Well, as nice as this visit has been,” Ryder says before drinking back the last of his coffee, “I told Alex’s Pops that I’d go down to the gym today to talk about me teaching a couple of classes.”
“What? You’re going to be a trainer at the gym? Is that safe? Are you even qualified?” I never really considered Ryder to be an athletic sort of guy, so to say I’m surprised that Pops wants him to teach a class is an understatement.
He laughs. “It’s my best kept secret, apparently. I’m not sure how it never came up, but I actually used to teach Brazilian Jiu Jitsu before we started the band. Pops found out the other day and asked if I would be interested in donating some time to teach his teen girls’ self-defence class a little. He says they could use it. I guess the granddaughter of a friend of his was nearly raped a while back and since then Pops has been teaching self-defence to teen girls for free. That’s not something I would say no to.”
“That’s amazing, Ryder.” He keeps surprising me. “I’m really impressed. Not only that you’re some martial arts master, but that you’d volunteer to teach girls how to defend themselves. That’s really awesome.”
“It means a lot to me that you feel that way, Denise. But I just figured, since I don’t want to go back to the way I was behaving, I may as well be useful instead. This way I can use knowledge that I already have to teach the people that need it the most.”
“Well, good for you. I’m really proud of you.” I’m standing now too, clinging to my bag of books. “But I’ll let you get going. I’ve got some stuff to do as well so I should get to it.”
We say our goodbyes and then each go our separate ways.
Who would’ve thought that Ryder would happily volunteer his time to teach girls self defence? It’s not something I could have ever imagined. I’m glad he’s decided to take himself seriously for once. Not only will it be great for him, but maybe I won’t need to worry about bailing him out of trouble while I’m pregnant. I’d hate to have to drag my enormous belly out somewhere to rescue him in the middle of the night. I might need to assign all future midnight rescues to Devon, just in case.
