“Let me see your hand, Lexi Girl.” Pops says, walking over to me. “And put that cigarette out. It stinks in here.” I pass my smoke to Ryder to deal with and give Pops a big hug.
“What are you doing here, Pops?”
“Well, that sketchy fuck over there,” he jerks a thumb over to where Connor is standing, “came to me and told me you rescued him from an attack last night. He was concerned that he’d hurt you and came to collect the beating that I promised him if he ever did that.”
“Even you’re calling me a sketchy fuck now? Ireallyneed to go talk to Tino.”
“I’m fine, Pops. Ryder took me to see the doctor. I had x-rays. Typical boxer’s fracture plus a cut that they could have stitched but didn’t. It’s in a cast for probably six weeks or so. I didn’t feel it last night because I was drunk before the adrenaline wore off.” I show him my sparkly black cast. “Check out this sweet cast, though. I’m all fancy now.”
“That’s good, girlie. I’m glad to hear you’re ok. Knew you would be,” he says while hugging me again. “I really just wanted to come over with Connor to ask you to give him a chance to explain what happened. It seems to me like that boy has some powerful feelings for you and I would consider it a favour to me if you would hear him out?”
“I don’t know, Pops. He fucked up pretty bad.” I know he’s itching to get back to the gym now that he knows for sure I’m ok. Physically, anyway. I’m not so sure how my heart is faring just yet. But if Pops thinks I should listen to Connor, I suppose I could at least try. “I’ll stop by and see you soon, ok?”
“Ok, love you Lexi Girl. ”
“Love you, Pops.”
Pops pats Connor on the shoulder on his way by.
“Well, I think my work here is done, too.” Ryder claps his hands together and then mimes dusting them off. “Devon, you need a ride, man?”
“Sure, that would be great.” He tosses Connor his keys. “You can drive the truck home.”
Ryder walks to me and hugs me. “You ok to talk to him now?” he whispers in my ear. I just nod in response.
Devon comes over and hugs me, too. “Thanks for taking care of our man last night,” he says. “I’ll tell you all the stuff that Connor can’t remember next time we talk. Just call me when you’re ready.”
Devon and Ryder leave the apartment together, and then I’m alone with Connor. Whether I’m ready for it or not.
“Hey, babe.” He says, hands in his pockets. “Can we sit?”
I turn and sit on the couch, leaving room for him to sit beside me.
“Thanks.” He chuckles a little. “Before we start, do you really need help with the bathroom? I can do that for you, you know.”
I shake my head and laugh. “I’m fine right now, thanks.”
Chapter 53
Connor - There’s Still Hope
Turns out Alex already knows most of what I tell her. Ryder already explained how the girl drugged me, trying to get me to sleep with her. Actually, let’s call it what it is; She was attempting to rape me. I was too out of it to consent, even if I had wanted to sleep with her. Which I absolutely did not.
“I know it’s going to be hard for you to trust anyone.” I say. “But I promise I will never hurt you like that. I’m so sorry that it looked like I did. I can only imagine how you felt, thinking I had left with someone else. And with how they told me you found me, with her on top of me like that.”
“I understand it wasn’t your fault, Connor, but it hurt. It hurt so much. We’ve only been back in touch for a few days and it felt like you had deserted me all over again.” The tears are trailing down her cheeks and I have to stop myself from reaching up and wiping them away. She’s not ready for that yet, and I will not push. “And I was so fucking angry. I don’t think I knew I could get that mad. I felt out of control.”
“Never, Alex.” I promise. “I will never desert you. And I’m sorry I gave you reason to feel so angry.” I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “I haven’t felt complete since I lost you when we were kids. I just didn’t know it until you showed up in my life again. When I touched you after the concert, I felt like I was slamming back home into my body. Like I’d been floating outside myself and you finally came and anchored me to my life again.”
Alex looks up at me, tears still on her face. “That’s how I felt. I didn’t know anything was missing from me until you were there, putting me back together.”
I slide over to sit next to her and wrap my arms around her. Fuck not being ready yet. I can’t let her cry and not hold her. She rests her head on my shoulder and puts her hand on my chest. I finally release the breath I’ve been holding since I woke up in the hospital and heard what happened last night.
“I’m sorry I automatically assumed that you would be cheating. It’s not even like we said we were together.” She inhales a big, shuddering breath before continuing. “I don’t know if I am even capable of trust after all the shit that has happened to me.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Alex. Not a thing. None of this is your fault. I know you’ve had some shitty relationships. I know they will probably colour anything that you and I have together, at least for a while.” I turn her face toward mine. “But I felt like you were mine as soon as I saw you after the show last week. And if you will try this with me now, I promise I will spend every moment of every day doing everything in my power to prove that I’m worthy of your trust.”
“It’s been a crazy few days, hasn’t it?” She asks me. “It feels like it’s been so much longer. I’m exhausted, honestly. I don’t think I’m in any frame of mind to decide something that big right now. Can I sleep on it?”
