“Fuck you,” Ryder spits at me. “We’re friends. You already know that. She told me to call her, and we’d hang out. She’s been a better friend to me in the last few days than you fucks have been in years.” He takes a breath. “I called her for you, when I figured out how unlikely it is that you fucked that chick.”
Ryder is really friends with Alex? I thought he just meant they were casual friends, not good friends, like they appear to be. And she’s a better friend to him than the rest of us. I guess I can see that. She’s such a great person, and we’ve all been pricks to Ryder this last little while. He’s clearly got something going on and all we could do was bitch about his acting out.
“You’re right, man. I’m all messed up right now. I’m mad and I shouldn’t be lashing out at you.” Now I feel like a dick for being a shitty friend. Today is not my day to feel good about myself, it looks like. “I haven’t been good to you at all, and here you are trying to help me out of this shit now. Thank you.”
“Yeah, you’re an asshole sometimes. But you’re forgiven. I won’t even make you beg for it.” He laughs. “And since I am such good friends with Alex, and you, I am going to help you fix this. Because that girl loves you, too. And she deserves to be happy.”
He gets up and throws a bag at me before going to the door. “I brought you some clothes. Have a shower. You puked all over yourself last night. I’ll let you know when I find Alex.”
And then he leaves. Fuck! How will I ever be able to fix this with Alex? Even if she learns the truth of what happened last night, will she be willing to risk something like this happening again? Being famous isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And I would walk away from it all in a heartbeat, if it meant I could have Alex with me.
Chapter 50
Alex - I Feel No Pain, Until I Do
Bang bang bang! Bang bang bang! Bang bang bang!
What?! What the hell is that?
Bang bang bang! “Alex, open up. It’s Ryder.”
Ugh, what is he doing here at this ungodly hour? It’s only… What? It’s already 2:00 in the afternoon? I’ve got some fuzzy memories of drinking way too much after Becca and I got back here last night. I feel kind of ok though.
I sit up in bed. “Coming.” I yell out just so Ryder stops banging on the door. I sway on my feet a little when I stand up. No wonder I feel ok, I’m still drunk. I pick up the whiskey bottle that I left on my dresser when I finally went to bed early this morning. Might as well just stay drunk for the rest of the day and put off my hangover until tomorrow. That seems like the responsible thing to do.
I walk over and throw open the door while taking a big drink of my whiskey. “What?” I spit at Ryder, not all that nicely. I turn around and leave the door open for him to follow me in. “How did you know where I live?”
I flop down on the couch and grab a cigarette from the pack that I bought last night. I start to dig around in the couch to find a lighter, but Ryder helps me out first. I tilt my head to accept the light that he offers and take a long drag. I give him a nod of thanks and then point to the couch for him to sit.
“That looks like the breakfast of champions there, girl.” He chuckles at me. “And you’re not exactly dressed for company.”
“I wasn’t expecting any company.” I grumble. I have to look down at myself to remember what I’ve got on. Oh, I guess he has a point. I don’t normally open the door wearing only my underwear and an old sweatshirt. “Hold on.”
I go back to my room and grab some old grey joggers that are so big I have to pull the drawstring tight. That’s the best he’s going to get. It’s not like I invited him here after all.
“So, what are you doing here, Ryder? Come to get drunk with me? I have a pretty decent head start so you’ve got some catching up to do if that’s the case.” I look down at my nearly empty whiskey bottle. “And I’m not sharing, either.”
“That’s ok, doll. I’m actually not here to drink. I came to talk to you about Connor.”
“Hard pass,” I say, while dropping my cigarette into an empty glass on the coffee table. “I’m still drinking away my sorrows; I’m not really interested in talking about assholes right now.”
I get up off the couch and walk into the kitchen. Oh look, Becca left me a fresh bottle of whiskey. I spin the cap off and take a nice, big drink.Mmmm, refreshing.
“You want coffee or something?” I’m still an excellent hostess when I’m angrily drinking. I am a chef after all, hospitality is my job.
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks.”
I throw myself back down onto the couch and grab another cigarette. Nothing like furiously chain smoking when you’re mad, am I right? My lungs and throat are going to feel this tomorrow, but for now, I just gesture to Ryder for his lighter. He just tosses it to me this time, and I light my own cigarette.
“So as I was saying,” Ryder begins. “There was more to what happened last night than we saw back at the house.”
“I don’t want to fucking hear it. I don’t.” My love life has been a never-ending series of disappointments. It seems fitting that it started with Connor and is now ending with Connor. “I’ve had more than my share of the same bullshit over the last twenty years, and I think I’m finally fucking done.” I hold my bottle up in a toast and take another huge swallow.
Ryder slides closer to me on the couch, takes the bottle from my hands, and places it on the coffee table. He grabs a cigarette from his own pack and lights it before leaning back beside me. Both of our heads are resting against the back of the couch, our eyes pointed toward the ceiling.
“I understand where you’re coming from, babe. I really do. But what you’re feeling right now, is based on what youthinkhappened last night. But it didn’t happen the way you’re thinking. Connor didn’t leave with that girl.”
I sit up and look at him. “What do you mean? Of course he did. We both saw him under her, in his bed. I wasn’t drunk at that point. I remember it clearly. It’s burned in my brain.” I hold my fists out to him, knuckles up. “And my knuckles tell the story of what I did to her face.”
