“Who said anything about girlfriend? I said rebound sex. Get your mindintothe gutter, girl.” she yells at me from her open window, while pulling out of the lot.
She’s such a bitch. That must be why I love her.
Hopefully, this band tonight is good. I might not be completely heartbroken, but I could use the distraction from trying to figure why I’ve been cheated on yet again.
Chapter 3
Connor -Family is Overrated
“No, Mom, there won’t be another show for a long time. You need to come tonight if you want to see us play this tour. We’ve been touring off and on for almost fifteen years and you haven’t been to a single show. Tonight is the last night of the tour before we head back to the studio. Please come see me play” I pinch the bridge of my nose in exasperation. We have this conversation every time I ask her to come see me play. I’ve purchased plane tickets to other cities for fuck’s sake, and shestillhasn’t bothered to show up. I grab a smoke from the pack in my pocket and light it, taking a long drag. I exhale with a little more force than necessary, my frustration manifesting as furious smoking.
“Connor, I just don’t think we’ll be able to make it. I mean, I have nothing to wear even.” Mom is whining again, and I can tell she’s angling for me to offer to buy clothes. And I’m a sucker, so of course I do. Anything for my family.
“I’ll call a shop I know and give them my credit card number. You go, bring your boyfriend, and Sadie and Amanda, and get something to wear. Hell, buy all new wardrobes if you want. I don’t give a shit. I just want you guys here tonight.” Somehow she always gets something out of me just to perform what you would think is basic mothering. It’s like I have to pay her to be a mom. She’s lucky my band turned out to be so successful or she would have to actually work for a living instead of sponging off of me.
“Oh? Well, I guess we can go and have a look around. Ted needs some new clothes, too. He has nothing nice to wear when we go out to dinner and to the theatre and such.” Dinner and the theatre on my dime, you mean, right Mom? Ugh, it pisses me off that I have to pay for that leech Ted, too, but Mom wouldn’t come if I didn’t include him. Him or whatever other “boyfriend” was currently mooching off her (and by her I mean me).
“Great, awesome,finally. Your tickets will be at the box office at the arena under your name, along with backstage passes. Just get them and come down to the stage and security will show you where to meet me. I’m glad you’ll finally be seeing me play.” I’ve been doing this for years and my own mother hasn’t been to a single show. But tomorrow she’ll finally see what I’ve done with my life (and what affords her the lifestyle she currently lives). She may be a selfish bitch, but I still want her to acknowledge what I’ve done.
“Alright baby.” Now she sounds happy, since she’s gotten something else out of me. “We’ll see you tonight. I can’t wait for you to meet Ted. I think you’re going to like him. He has some great ideas to discuss with you. Bye Honey!” She hangs up before I can say anything else. I text her the address of the store I was talking about so she won’t have an excuse to not show up.
“FUCK! Assholes!” I’m practically ripping my hair out as I throw the door open and charge back into the dressing room. I’m pissed off now. I should’ve known something else was up. She only agreed to come because her new boyfriend ‘has ideas to discuss’ with me. He probably has a stupid business concept that he wants backing for. Not happening, I already give you enough money mom, no way ‘Ted’ is getting even more out of me.
“Ow, shit! Get off me.” Ryder pushes the blonde’s head out of his lap as I stride across the room to pour myself a drink. She’s trying to get his zipper down and get her mouth onto his dick. I guess it’s not every day that she gets her hands on the lead guitarist for one of the hottest bands in the country. “Dude, what’s your problem? You scared that chick so bad she just about bit my dick off. Not cool bro, not cool.” He’s pouting now, and I can’t help but snort out a laugh.
“Good. Someone needs to bite it off. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to see it so much. I swear I see your dick more than I see my own.” I laugh while he fakes like he’s going to take his dick out again. I put my cigarette out in the ashtray on the bar at the side of the room. All these venues are supposed to be nonsmoking, but no one has ever asked me to go outside yet. I normally don’t even mind going outside, but there are too many groupies out there now. I don’t need that hassle when I’m just looking for a smoke.
“Oh, you love this cock. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t look at it so much.” Oh shit, I was wrong. He wasn’t faking. He’s whipped his dick out again and is now waving it at every other person in this room, helicopter style. Crazy fucker has no shame. The collection of groupies someone let in here doesn’t seem to mind, though. Every one of them is trying to catch his eye now that they’ve seen the size of his penis. The asshole is blessed in that department, even I can admit that.
Our manager, Denise, walks in at just that moment and addresses Ryder. “Yes, Mr. Sullivan, I believe that is a penis, albeit a little on the small side. I can get you a magnifying glass, if you want to get a closer look to confirm it for yourself?” Ryder stares at her with his mouth hanging open like he’s trying to catch flies. I wonder if he’s trying to determine just how big Denise’s boyfriend’s dick must be if she’s saying his is small. The groupies look shocked that a woman would talk to him like that. Denise is always busting his balls and I, for one, love it. He always has it coming, and it’s always hilarious.
“Now, it’s time for you boys to head to the stage for sound checks. So take your dicks out of whatever wet holes you’ve got them in, put them back in your pants, and get moving.” She turns on her heel, long black hair swinging out behind her, and opens the door while motioning to shoo us out. “Chop chop, gentlemen. The stage awaits. And you,” she points to the half-naked groupies practically begging for our attention, “no sluts backstage today. The boys will pick you out again if they want you.” Denise might dislike the women who hang around us begging for any attention they can get, but she’d never break their hearts by crushing their hopes completely. They all rush out past her, giving the guys little waves, trying to get their attention one more time. They’ll figure out soon enough that they won’t be back again after the show.
Denise has been our manager since we started the band, and she’s always been this way. Part sassy bitch, part mother, and part no-nonsense shark. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that we wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for her. She’s never phased by any of our bullshit, including walking in on us with chicks in various positions, hence the ‘dicks in wet holes’ comment. As long as we wrap up, she doesn’t care where our dicks go. Unless it’s time to put them away and get on stage, that is.
Not that most of us have been partaking in the groupie scene much over the last couple of years, anyway. I can’t remember the last time I did anything with an actual woman instead of just my hand. Seems a lot safer when you consider most of these groupies will fuck anyone who gets on stage. Who’d have thought I’d have had enough of the rock star lifestyle at the ripe old age of 35, yet here we are. I started out just wanting to play music, and it seems like I’m right back where I started.
“You ok, C?” Aiden stops to ask me as he heads out. “You seemed pretty pissed when you walked in here? Your mom cancel on you again?”
“She tried, but she’ll be coming tonight, with her new boyfriend. And he apparently has ‘ideas’ to discuss with me.” I roll my eyes. Aiden knows how my mom is, so he’ll know that she and the boyfriend are after something.
“Shit dude, sorry. Your mom sucks.”
“Yeah, well, it is what it is. Everyone I know wants something from me, except you guys. You guys never ask me for anything.” I slap him on the back as he walks past Denise, doing a little drumming in the air as he goes. That guy is never without his drumsticks. Probably a good thing, I guess, since heisour drummer.
“Not quite true.” Travis punches my shoulder on his way out the door. Good thing he needs to go play bass for us right now, or I might have to punch him right back and start something. I’m pissed off enough that fighting him actually sounds pretty good right now. He’s got a good 4 inches and 40 pounds on me, but I think I could take him. Yeah right Connor, nice try.
“That’s right.” Travis’ older brother, Johnny, stops in front of me as he walks by. “We ask you to sing like your life depends on it every night.”
“Yeah,” Ryder pokes his head back through the door with a mischievous grin. “And to shake your sexy ass so the ladies will come backstage and screw us all after the show.”
“Fuck off, Ryder,” Johnny yells after him. “That guy can be such a dickhead.” He grabs Travis by the back of the neck and they walk out the door. Having them both in the band can get complicated because of their brotherly dynamic. They may look completely different, considering Travis is a redhead while Johnny is blond, but they have similar mannerisms and attitudes toward life. Not to mention they are constantly arguing and fighting each other as only brothers who really love each other can.
Well, I guess it’s time to head to the stage and get this over with. Mom’s bullshit always puts me in a foul mood, but performing normally helps that all go away. I’ll hit the gym and rid myself of this shitty mood after soundcheck so it won’t affect my performance tonight. One quick look in the mirror to make sure I’m looking like a sexy lead singer and I’m out the door, too. I might not be interested in sleeping with the fans much anymore, but I gotta keep them thinking it could be possible, right? Gotta maintain the illusion of availability.
“So Denise? What do you say?” I always ask her this before I go on stage. It’s part of my “getting into rock star mode” ritual.
“Time to fuck shit up, Connor” she replies with her usual answer while leading me towards the stage.
