We snuggle down into the nest of blankets he’s made, and between that and the fireplace, the chill of the evening doesn’t feel so bad. I lay my head on Connor’s shoulder, feeling his arm come around me to pull me in tighter. We lay quietly, listening to the crackle of the fireplace for a long time. I can’t remember the last time I felt so comfortable. Finally, Connor begins talking again.
“I won’t judge you for what happened, Alex. I just want to know so that I can understand where you’re coming from and how I can help you. You were laughing at the Derek story last week, but I could still sense that you were hurting. Betrayal is always hurtful. When someone you love and trust turns out to be an asshole, it can make you second guess your own judgement. Just know that people like that are very good at making others see them how they want to be seen. There is nothing wrong with you for believing someone who is obviously very good at lying.”
I take a few minutes to think about what he’s said. I wish I could believe him, but eight guys are a lot different than one or two.
“Connor,” I sigh. “You say that now, but when I tell you, you might feel differently.”
“I couldn’t feel differently about you, Alex.”
I take a deep breath and sit up. I need to face him and see his reaction in his eyes if I’m going to believe what he says about it after. I’m not totally convinced I can trust my judgement about any guy, but I feel like I know Connor. Or at least I did. I don’t think I’ve changed too much, so hopefully he hasn’t either. I know the way he makes me feel hasn’t changed.
I fill my lungs and blow out a hard breath, attempting to calm myself. “It was eight boyfriends,” I finally admit. “I’ve slept with eight boyfriends, and I’ve had eight boyfriends cheat on me. Some were public, some were private, some relationships were more serious than others. But the result was always the same. They cheated, I found out, and I left.” I can’t even tell what he’s thinking. Looking at him during my confession didn’t help at all.
He sits up now too, and I can see he is thinking. He pulls me close and wraps his arms around me. When he finally opens his mouth to talk, what comes out is nothing like what I expect.
“So, you must go through a lot of umbrellas then, hey?” I can feel his smile pressed against my forehead. I’m stunned for a moment. And then I laugh.
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” I shake my head. “Unfortunately, it was only Derek who ever got that reaction. I think after all the other times, and finally trusting him enough to move in with him, I just snapped when he turned out to be a cheater, too. It doesn’t bode well for whoever is next, that’s for sure. I might move on to actual baseball bats. Becca had one for me last time, but Derek ran too fast.”
Connor lays back down and tugs my hand a little, so I join him again. He pulls the blankets up around us, and I settle my head onto his chest. This has been the longest day and my body is feeling heavy with fatigue. I struggle to keep my eyes open even as my breathing becomes steady. Fingers trace circles on my back, and Connor reaches his other hand out and laces his fingers with mine.
“I know you have no reason to trust me, and I know we haven’t even talked about what this is,” I hear him say as I sink into the beginnings of sleep. “But you never have to worry about me hurting you like that. You’re the only woman I’ve ever truly wanted. And now that you’re here, I don’t think I’ll be able to let you go ever again.”
Chapter 41
Connor - Mine Now and Time to Clean Up
I’m not sure if Alex heard what I said as she fell asleep, but I’m not about to wake her up to tell her. We can talk when she wakes up. The crackling of the fireplace soothes me, too. How could anyone, let alone eight different guys, ever turn their back on this woman in my arms? I didn’t know she was what was missing when we started out with the band. I tried to fill that hole with drugs and women, but they didn’t fulfil me. Apparently, all I needed was for Alex to come back into my life. It makes sense now that I think about it. Almost every song I ever wrote was about her. She’s been my muse since the first time we met, whether or not we were together.
My thoughts continue along this path as my eyes grow heavier. It really has been a long day. I started the day searching for Alex and I’m ending it with her in my arms. I slip right into sleep with thoughts of how everything is finally falling into place.
* * *
“Well, isn’t this sweet?” Devon is at the house bright and early, and I hear him through the fog of my dreams. He kicks my feet and wakes me from where I’ve fallen asleep on the deck with Alex. “You’ll need to install a high fence around the property if you’re going to be falling asleep outside whenever you feel like it.” He’s joking but he has a point. Staying out here all night wasn’t exactly my smartest move. I’ll need to get Denise to find a contractor to get the fence started. Now that Alex is living here, I won’t take any risks when it comes to security.
Alex is still asleep on my chest. I brush the hair off her face and lean my head down to kiss her. “Wake up, babe. Devon’s here and there’s some stuff I need to go over with him.” She wakes up slowly. Hopefully she slept as well as I did. For sleeping on a hard surface, I feel surprisingly well rested. Must’ve been the company. I catch myself smiling as Alex sits up and stretches.
“What time is it?” she asks. “Do you guys want breakfast?”
I can tell Devon wants to say yes, but I cut him off before he gets the chance. “No, baby. If you need more sleep, you should go back to bed. It’s only 8:00 in the morning. We’re not usually up this early around here.” I stand up and grab her hand, pulling her up with me. “Do you want me to walk you to the pool house? Or do you want to go inside and sleep in my bed?”
Her cheeks visibly redden as her eyes cut to Devon at the mention of her sleeping in my bed. She’s so adorable I have to kiss her again, a little more seriously this time. Even with her slight embarrassment in front of Devon, she lets me kiss her deeply, her tongue sliding easily with mine while her hands reach up to the back of my neck. Before I can stop myself, I’ve got one hand in her hair and the other on her lower back, pulling her against me. She lets out a little moan as I grind my erection into her stomach, letting her know just what she does to me.
“Ok, so…” Devon says quietly. “I’ll just let myself in and go make some coffee. Talk to you guys soon.” The next thing I hear is the door opening and closing behind me.
“Let’s go grab a shower at your place.” I grab her hand and start dragging her across the grass to the pool house.
“What about Devon?” she breathes while she runs along beside me. I slow down a little, letting her catch up. I might be a little too eager. “Won’t he be mad at having to wait for you?”
“Nah.” I grab her keys and unlock the door. “He gets paid well enough to wait. I’m sure the other guys will be here soon enough to keep him occupied. Plus, I’d be taking a shower either way. This way I also get to see you naked again and give you a proper good morning.”
I disarm the alarm and pull her inside, kicking the door shut once she’s clear. As soon as she’s inside, I turn around and get my lips on hers again. Leaning in, I push her up against the wall, both of her hands in one of mine over her head, my thigh between her legs, lips on hers in a deep kiss. My other hand reaches around her back, grabbing her hair and tugging down gently, giving me easier access to move my lips down to her neck. I’m driven by a need to consume her, make her mine, mark her so everyone knows she belongs to me. I’m pretty sure the last time I ever left a love bite it was on her and I’m doing it again right now. She’s moaning while I gently press my thigh against her pussy, feeling her heat and heart beating on my leg.
“Fuck, Alex. I need to get inside you again. Now.”
I let her arms go, reach under her ass, and pick her up.
“Arms around me, baby. We either go to the shower right now or I fuck you against this wall. It’s your choice.” I’m sure she realizes that I’m fucking her either way, but she can decide where it happens. This time. I’m reserving the right to fuck her in the shower and against the wall at a later date, possibly even later today.
