Prologue
Twenty Years Ago - Connor
“Hey babe,” I look up and I see Alex coming to join me at our favourite spot outside the Fallbridge Public Library. We’ve been meeting here every day after school ever since the first time she found me playing my guitar here in the park. We’ve been inseparable since that day.
“Connor,” she says before bursting into tears. I immediately drop my guitar and walk over to pull her into my arms. “Connor… my parents…”
“Shhhh, Alex, it’s going to be ok. I’ve got you.” I don’t know what’s wrong, but I know I’ll never let anything hurt her. I may only be sixteen, but I know I love this girl with my whole heart. I’ll do anything to make her happy. “Tell me what’s wrong, baby. What can I do?”
“It’s my parents. They were in an accident last night. They died Connor. My parents are gone.” Alex sobs uncontrollably, and I’m left with the realization that there’s nothing I can do to make her happy in this situation. All I can do is hold her, so that’s what I do.
I move us over to sit on the picnic table and we stay there; me holding Alex for what feels like hours. We both cry over the horror of her losing both of her parents that way. They were such a loving family from what I saw when I was over there. And they were always so welcoming to me, too. We cry until we have no tears. Alex shudders in my arms, dragging in huge gasping breaths, as she accepts the tears have run out for now.
“What happens now?” I know she has no other family here. No close family friends. I feel so selfish thinking of it, but I’m terrified of losing her. But I know she can’t stay here alone. She’s only sixteen.
“My Pops is coming to get me. He’ll be here later tonight.” She looks up at me, her eyes lined in red, tears pooling again. “I’m going to have to go live with him, Connor.”
I take a deep breath. This is the worst thing that could happen to me, but I’m not important right now. Alex is the one who lost her parents. I won’t make it worse by piling on my worries over losing her. Now is the time for me to be strong.
“OK, that makes sense. Where does he live?” I pull her more tightly against me, trying to make her feel how much I love her. “Maybe I can visit? Or you can visit me?”
“He’s in Westborough somewhere, so not too far. We could probably visit.” She sniffles a little.
“We will visit. You’re it for me, Alex. I know some might think we’re not old enough to know that, but I do. I love you. You don’t have to worry about what will happen to us. We’ll do long distance until I’m 18 and then I’ll move to Westborough with you.” I lean in and kiss her lips gently. “Don’t even think about us. We will be fine.”
I wish I could do more than hold her now, take her pain away somehow. The best I can do is reassure her we are going to be solid no matter where she goes. Moving away for a couple of years won’t keep us apart.
“Will you play something for me?” She looks up at me through wet lashes. “I just want something to take my mind off things for a little while.”
“Of course I will,” I walk over to pick my guitar up from where I dropped it. “Come sit with me.” I grab her hand and walk to the picnic table, the same one we sat on the day that we met.
Alex climbs up and lays down on the tabletop. I take off my sweatshirt and fold it up, sliding it under her head. “This should be a little more comfortable.”
“Thanks.”
I sit beside her and quickly tune my guitar. It’s a little off from when I threw it on the ground. I decide to play her some Jewel; You Were Meant For Me. I don’t have the same breathy tone as she does, but I do ok with singing it.
I’m so thankful to Alex for convincing me to try singing. When we met, I was only interested in getting better at playing guitar, but she somehow knew that I had a decent singing voice. She convinced me to sing for her one time and now I do it any time she asks, and any time I get a chance. It drives my mom crazy, especially when my little sister is trying to sleep, but I just can’t help it now.
I run through a few more songs before I notice Alex has fallen asleep. She must be exhausted after finding out about her parents’ death and that she’s going to be moving away. I don’t know what I’m going to do when she goes, but I know we’ll make it work. We have to.
* * *
I sit with Alex while she sleeps for a couple of hours. When she wakes, I walk her home and we sit on her front steps to say goodbye.
“You’ll call me when you get there? To give me your phone number and new address?” I’m holding her close, my head resting on top of hers. I want to memorize exactly how she feels in my arms.
“As soon as I get there. Keep the phone with you so I don’t wake up your mom and sister.” Tears are forming in Alex’s eyes again, and mine aren’t exactly dry either.
The love of my life is about to move hours away. We’ll get to visit and talk on the phone, but it’s not the same as seeing her every day. I won’t even be able to be there for her while she grieves her parents. My heart is breaking twice. Once for her losing her parents, and once for her moving away.
We sit on the steps until it gets dark, just holding each other, and letting the tears fall when they need to. After a short while, a car pulls into the driveway.
“That’s my Pops,” Alex says. “I better get my stuff together.”
I’m not ready to let her go, but I don’t want to meet her Pops with tears in my eyes either. He needs to trust that I’ll be able to take care of her some day, and crying when I meet him isn’t likely to instil much confidence. Standing up, I pull Alex to me and kiss her as deeply as I dare with her grandfather standing right there.
“I love you, Alex. I always will. This isn’t the end for us.”
