My heart races, booming so erratically in my chest, and I place my hand against his massive chest, feeling the way his heart races just the same. “I was right, back at the house,” I whisper, nerves flourishing through me. “You’re in love with me.”
He just watches me, his lips pressed into a hard line before tearing his gaze away and focusing on the approaching car. “Come on,” he finally says. “Get back in the car. We can’t risk being seen.”
And with that, Stone walks away, leaving me trembling on the hood of the Firebird.
19
ARIA
This man is impossible. Though I’m sure he’d probably say the same about me.
He’ll accidentally give me an inch, and I’ll greedily take a mile, but then he shuts down, and those walls come slamming back into place, closing me out. But what am I supposed to do? He’s the only one who has the answers I need. The only one who knows who I truly am. The only one who can piece together the missing parts of my life, but I also don’t know him well enough to push for these answers, and all I’m doing is backing myself into a corner.
One thing is for sure, he can’t handle when shit gets serious. He doesn’t like talking about that night, and it’s clear from his reaction that he holds a lot of guilt, anguish, and heartbreak over everything that went down with his brother. I just wish I could remember what led us to that moment so I can tell Stone that itwasn’t his fault—and truly mean it. But I doubt there’s anything I could say that would somehow help him work through that guilt.
It’s been almost an hour since we stood out on that road, and so far, we haven’t said a single word. It was a relief to find that the approaching car was just a family loaded into a minivan and not a cop car hot on our trail.
This past hour has brought nothing but heaviness. One part of me can’t stop replaying that dream in my head, can’t stop thinking about the words Stone said, or the guilt that rests on his shoulders. While the other part of me is desperate to feel his lips against mine again, to feel the way his body would move with mine, to know exactly how he tastes. God, just the way his hands moved over my body.
I need that more than I’ve needed anything before, like the way my body needs oxygen, or like the way a lock needs a key, or a shadow needs the light. We just belong together, and while I don’t truly understand why, I feel it deep in my soul. Stone Blackthorne belongs to me.
“So,” I say when the silence begins to eat at me, desperate to lighten the mood between us. “Seven straight years of nothing but jerking off. You must have the worst case of blue balls known to man.”
Stone slowly turns his head, those dark, terrifying eyes locking on to mine, but he doesn’t respond, just stares as though he could somehow intimidate me. But after hearing what he said while I sat on that hood, telling me how I belonged to him, how I would always be first, he no longer has the ability to intimidate me—no matter how hard he tries.
“Come on,” I say, unable to keep the grin off my face, desperate to climb across this car and fuck him right here while he drives. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
He shakes his head and focuses on the road again, choosing not to respond, but I see the tiniest hint of a smirk at the corner of his lips, and nothing has ever made me feel more accomplished in my life.
I smile to myself as we continue down the road, then before I even know what I’m doing, I’m climbing across the center console and settling right in his lap, my knees straddling his thick thighs.
“The fuck are you doing, Menace?” he asks, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other dropping to my ass.
Resting my hand on his chest, I slowly lean in to him and drop my lips to his in a brief kiss, feeling a wave of nervousness crash through my chest before quickly pulling away. I’ve never been one to shy away from a sexual attraction. I’m usually the girl who goes out and actively seeks it, but if our previous moments are anything to go by, then losing myself in him while he’s driving probably isn’t the best idea. Being on the run is already insane enough; we don’t need to add a car accident to the list of things we’ve been partaking in recently.
“It’s you,” I tell him as he drives, vulnerability seeping through my veins and making me uneasy. “I’ve spent years trying to remember even a spec of who I used to be, and nothing ever worked. I’ve gone to therapy, been hypnotized, seen psychics, but nothing ever brought back the pieces, so I gave up on my past a long time ago. But you show up in my life, and suddenly I’m having flashbacks and dreams. I know my real name, who I am, and where I come from, and that’s all you. I was content just focusing on building a career in journalism, maintaining my little apartment, and trying to have some semblance of a life, but then you happened, and now? I don’t know. The life I had . . . It feels so little in comparison to the world I had before with you, and even though I don’t fully remember, I can’t fathom the ideaof ever going back to a world where you don’t exist. I want what we used to have.”
His hand squeezes my ass. “I’m not about to let you go, Menace.”
“Oh, I’m more than aware of that,” I tell him, remembering the exact moment he had me up against the tree when I first tried to escape, and then the wall outside the house when I tried for the second time. “I don’t want to be away from you, not anymore.”
“You won’t.”
I nod as something settles in my chest, like a fractured piece of my soul healing itself. “I want to trust you, Stone. Deep down, my gut is telling me that I can trust you, that Ishould, but it makes me nervous. I’m not one who can easily rely on others. I don’t give out my trust like that, but for whatever reason, I know you’re never going to hurt me, that no matter what comes our way, you’re going to protect me.”
“You’re not scared of me? Of what I can do?”
A stupid grin pulls at my lips, and I scoff. “I mean, watching you literally tear that dude’s throat out was kinda fucked up, but that was before I knew who you really were to me. Now?” I let out a sigh and cringe. “Is it wrong to think it’s kinda hot?”
He arches a brow and focuses his stare back on me. “Hot?”
“Steaming hot. Like makes me want to sit on your face kinda hot.”
Stone blows out a breath, his hand dragging down his face. “Fuck’s sake, Menace. The last time I saw you, you were seventeen. You were fucking wild, and a menace, but you were innocent. I’m not used to seeing you like this. So fucking bold and forward with what you want. It’s messing with my head.”
“I’m not a child anymore,” I remind him, rocking my hips over him, just in case he might have forgotten.
“Oh, believe me, I know.”
