“Look who I found lurking outside,” the midwife says.
“Dais?”
She swivels her head in my direction and breathes an audible sigh of relief, stretching out her hand as if I should come take it.I’m through the door and crossing the room in two strides.I take her hand and press a kiss to it, careful to avoid the IV taped to her soft skin.“What’s going on?”
“He’s fine, they’re just giving him a little oxygen and running some tests.”
“What kind of tests?”
“All standard procedure.Just bloods and a simple AGPAR,” a midwife says as she turns to face me with a neatly wrapped bundle in her hands.“We thought he might have to have a little stay in the NICU, but his lungs seem healthy and his breathing score came back fine.He’s a very strong little boy.”
“Oh, thank god.”Daisy squeezes my hand.
“We’re going to keep you both for a few days though, just to monitor you.”
“Is that normal?”I ask.
“Perfectly,” the midwife says.“Especially with babies born outside of immediate medical intervention.”
“He’s okay though, right?”I glance at the bundle in question, terrified I fucked up in some way and have caused him harm.“I didn’t do anything wrong?”
“You both did just fine, and your baby is perfect.”She says reassuringly.“Now, in all the excitement, have you managed to have a hold yet, Daddy?”
Daddy.Who knew one little word could be my undoing?My mouth drops open, and I must look like a fish out of water.“I ...no.”
The woman hands me the baby and I hold him tightly to my chest.His little blue cap covers the shock of blond hair on his head.His little face is just like hers—beautiful, too perfect to be real.Daddy.My whole life, I never wanted anything as much as I want that word to be true now.
“West isn’t the father,” Daisy says quietly.“He’s my ...friend.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.I thought ...”the midwife smiles as she looks between us both.“That’s some friend.”
“It’s okay.I mean, now that he’s seen me push a baby out of my hoo-ha, he probably wants me to lose his number.”
I tune them out and look at the miracle in question, just an hour ago I was watching this kid make his way into the world, terrified something would go wrong and she’d be taken from me, and now?Now all I can see is the three of us together, a family.The very thing I never wanted, but here it is, in my arms, in the bed beside me.My family, they just don’t know it yet, and I can’t take this moment from her.I can’t impress my feelings upon her.That ain’t right.I can’t tell her how I feel.Not now.
“He’s perfect, Dais.Just like his mama,” I say and stand up, cautiously carrying him to her as she beams up at me.
“He is,” she agrees.I place him in her arms, careful to support his head, and then I lean in and kiss the top of hers.
“So, do we have a name yet?”The midwife asks.
“Waylon,” Daisy says.“Waylon West ...Moore.”I’m not only surprised at the use of my name, but also her maiden name.She looks up at me with hopeful eyes.“Is it alright if I use West?I mean, you did help me bring him into this world.”
It’s tradition in my family for the first-born son to carry on the father’s name.Hence why my middle name also belongs to my daddy.If I ever had kids of my own, that’s what I’d want too, but how can I deny her this?How can I deny her anything?This kid is my family, whether his mother and I are together or not.“I’d be honored.”
Daisy’s smile hits me right in the gut.“Waylon West it is, then.”
“It suits him.”I say, and run my hand over the back of my neck in a nervous gesture.“Listen, I’m gonna go and let you two get to know one another.”
“You don’t have to.”She strokes a fingertip over the gentle slope of his tiny nose, a gesture that just about kills me.I have so many fucking feelings right now, and I don’t want to burden her with any of them.
“I got an early start, and he deserves time with you all to himself.”
“Okay,” she says, and the disappointment in her voice cuts like a knife.
I gently push the hair back from her face and tuck it behind her ear.“I’ll call and check on you tomorrow.Then, whenever you’re free to go, I’ll come bust you guys out of here.”
“West, get some rest, okay?”
