I dove across the coffee table, fists flying. “You keep my wife’s name out of your damn mouth.” I landed a few punches, swinging at whatever I could.
Leif wasn’t one to back down though. He got in a few punches before Ryker waded in and pulled me off Leif.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Beau yelled from the doorway.
I stood up and wiped at the blood trickling from my nose. “Someone doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up.”
“Someone is being sensitive,” Leif mocked before grinning at me. Blood sheened his teeth in a maniacal grimace.
“Someone’s being an asshole.” I shook my head, my eyes on him the entire time. “You know what? I’m happy you’re going solo. And I’m glad that Gio’s not here to see it. Would’ve broken his heart the way you’re putting your ego over everyone’s interests.Again.”
“What?” Ryker gasped. “You’re leaving the band?”
Beau stepped fully into the room. “Are you seriously going solo, Leif? Is that what this is about?”
Leif ducked his head and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I was. Had all the contracts lined up and ready to execute and then…fucking Gio. He always had the best timing.”
“Way to blame our dead brother for you being an asshole.” I held my thumb against the blood trickling from my nose.
“So you’renotgoing solo?” Beau shook his head. “What the fuck is even going on?”
“I’m saying I don’t know.” Leif swiped at the blood on his chin and left a smear behind. “We only have one more album left on our contract with the label, but I couldn’t get any of you assholes to talk about what comes next while we were touring.You all splintered and went your own ways, so I decided to look after me.”
“Like always.” I shook my head.
Leif grimaced. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Are you seriously going to stand there and pretend like you haven’t been acting like a solo act the last few years? You do interviews solo half the time. You constantly get promotional deals that you don’t cut us in on. You judged that stupid reality show and didn’t even ask any of us to be on. You don’t give a shit about any of us. Honestly, I’m surprised you’d noticed that Gio died. It’s not like you care.”
“I don’t care?I DON’T CARE?!” His roar bounced off the walls. “I’m the only asshole here who does care. Where were you when Gio was spiraling out of control last tour? BecauseIwas the one who talked to him.Iwas the one who tried to run interference with him.Iwas the one who sent his girlfriend to rehab after he died. Where the fuck were you? Oh, that’s right. You were off in Tahiti getting married to a fucking teenager!”
I jumped forward to rip into Leif again, but Ryker and Beau both held me back, Beau literally holding onto my leg. I pushed at them, but they wouldn’t let me reach the fucker.
Finally standing upright, I pointed a finger at Leif over Ryker’s shoulder. “You want to know where I was? I was protecting my sobriety. Unless you want another drunk and incoherent asshole guitarist who can’t even stand up—let alone play—I can’t be around that shit. I knew Amaya was getting out of hand, but I didn’t have the first clue about Gio. Because if I did…”
I choked.
“If I did—”
Tears clogged my throat, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“It’s my fault. I should’ve seen. I should’ve…” I made a god-awful gasping sob sound and just lost it. I wrapped my arms around Ryker, buried my face in his shoulder and sobbed.
Leif was right. I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known. If I’d only stuck around more in the greenroom… I could’ve stopped him. I would’ve stopped him.
But I was too selfish.
Someone muttered, “Fuck.” But I was drowning in my grief and couldn’t even look up.
“It’s not your fault, bro,” Ryker rumbled in my ear. “You couldn’t have controlled Gio’s actions. He was too far gone.”
“I didn’t even see it,” I mumbled. “I didn’t realize. I’m the fucking dick here. He’s been my best friend long before you fuckers knew him. I know him best.Ishould’ve seen.I should’veseen!”
Tears ran down my cheeks and onto Ryker’s leather jacket. I sniffled as the tears slowed somewhat. “You smell nice.”
“Fuck, I’d ask if you were drunk, but we all know the answer to that. Thanks, I guess?” Ryker’s laughter made me smile.
I stepped back from Ryker and swiped at my face. “I should go. Saylor’s best friend is flying in, and I think we’ve all said more than we need to.”
