She ignored her. “Did you stab Jer in order to save me?” Dean came up behind her, leaning against the wall and folding his arms over his chest. His face gave away nothing as he watched our exchange.
“Yes,” I croaked, my throat burning.
“How long have you been planning on turning against Romano?” Dean questioned.
My eyes slid to his. “A while.”
“What are you planning to do with Kevin?” he pressed.
“Dean, please,” Kay begged. “I just got him back and I know that I owe you—”
The baseball player held his palm up. “You don’t owe me a thing, Kay.”
“Look at me,” Gwen demanded, and I did. She took a breath, perhaps to steady herself or to give me a moment, I didn’t know. Either way, I was grateful, because the next question out of her mouth shook me.
“My son. Were you supposed to kill him?”
This wasn’t the time for bullshitting. This was the time for truth. I knew three things. I was alive. Karina was safe. In order to keep her with me, I needed to make amends for the sins of my past. I knew I didn’t deserve forgiveness, that I probably shouldn’t even ask for it.
But I was going to anyways. Our future depended on it.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“He's a child,” I answered simply. By now, everyone in this room knew my moral standards. The bar was low, sure, but not that fucking low. Women and children were off limits. I'd killed women before, but it was simple and painless. Quick and merciful.
I have never touched a child, and I never will.
She stepped closer to the bed, pointing to the ground. “Don’t bullshit me, Stevens. I'm here, standing in front of you, willing to listen to what you have to say when all I wanted to do was put a bullet in your head,” she said, her voice thick with emotion. Her cool demeanor was beginning to break.
“And why didn’t you?” I challenged. “You’ve had plenty of opportunities. You could have killed me at the dinner, but you didn’t, Gwen.”
Her finger raised to Kay. “Because of her. You mean something to her! Hell, you meant something to me!” she yelled.
“When I saw your son for the first time, all I could think of was how much he looked like Dean,” I said firmly. She flinched. “Then, he started talking, and all I could think about was how much he sounded like you.”
She stiffened, and I pressed on.
“I had a chance to get Romano’s revenge right then and there, but I couldn’t fucking do it. Aiden is innocent. Once upon a time, I was innocent.”
“Col,” Karina breathed.
I shook my head. “I did what I had to do to survive, Gwen. It was the only way I knew how. Survive and adapt. That’s all I'd ever known until—” I cut myself off and looked away from her.Until I met Karina.
“Until what?”
That was a new voice. I turned to see another one of my regrets. Jeremy Jones.
“Until he met me,” my angel answered, stepping closer to me as she held her brother’s cruel stare. “Get out.”
“Kay—”
She began walking around the bed, away from me. I tried to sit up, but my chest hurt too damn much and suddenly I was lightheaded. I fell back onto the pillow, turning my head so I could watch them.
“Look at him! Look at him, Jer!” she ordered, getting in his face and pointing a finger at me. “He's here because of you! I could’ve gotten him out sooner—”
“I wasn’t the one to pull the fucking trigger, Kay.” He looked at me, hatred masking his face. “You stabbed me, motherfucker.”
