Page 59 of Kiss Me First


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LittleTooMuch: I ate something even though my brain tried to start a riot.

Three dots appear immediately.

NumberEleven: i’m proud of you.

I exhale slow.

LittleTooMuch: Don’t make it a thing.

NumberEleven: i won’t.

NumberEleven: i’m just saying it.

Warmth hits my chest—annoying and real.

I type the truth.

LittleTooMuch: Someone helped me today without making it a thing.

LittleTooMuch: It was weird.

LittleTooMuch: And…good.

A pause.

NumberEleven: good. keep that person.

My stomach flips. Keep that person, like it’s possible. Like it’s allowed.

My fingers hover.

LittleTooMuch: He made it easier.

LittleTooMuch: He gave me fewer choices.

Three dots.

NumberEleven: that’s smart.

NumberEleven: too many choices feels like…drowning.

My breath catches. Not because it’s proof. Because it’s accurate. Because it’s how it feels.

My brain tries to sprint anyway, so I force humor like a leash.

LittleTooMuch: Are you stalking me?

NumberEleven: yes. i’m hiding in your vents.

I laugh—real this time, quiet into my pillow.

LittleTooMuch: Ew. Stop.

NumberEleven: fine. i’ll move to the ceiling fan.

I shake my head, smiling.

LittleTooMuch: Why are you like this?