He sounds nervous, and all of a sudden, my heart drops.
“Oh shit. What is it, Luke?”
“Hey, I haven’t even told you yet. No need to sound like that.”
“It’s fine,” I say as a million different thoughts pass through my mind. Has he found a real date? Is he about to tell me that he doesn’t want to go with me? Is he about to tell me that he’s changed his mind?
All of a sudden, I feel low. I feel bleak. I’ve been having so much fun, talking about and getting ready for this fake summer relationship that I didn’t realize that it was taking the place of a real relationship.
All of a sudden, I wonder what it would be like to really be in a relationship with someone who chose me—someone who wanted to go to this wedding with me as my partner, not just as my best friend.
I’m desperately single, and I hate it. I don’t even want to think about what it’s going to be like, being at the wedding by myself with Luke actually there with someone.
“Hey, what’s going through your mind, Mia? You look miserable.”
“It’s fine. What is it? Are you going with Beatrice or something?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Why are you calling? You’re not changing your mind, are you?”
“Why would I change my mind?” he asks, looking genuinely confused. “You mean because it’s not going to be aFifty Shades of Greycontract?”
“Did I just hear him sayFifty Shades of Grey?” Juniper squeals and comes running over to me. “Mia, what have you held out on us?”
“Nothing,” I say, laughing. “He said it’snotaFifty Shades of Greycontract.”
“Oh,” Juniper says, laughing slightly. “I thought he said you guyshad aFifty Shades of Greycontract, and I was like,Whoa, how do you go from kissing on the lips with no tongue to anal and whips and chains?”
“Whips and chains, eh?” Luke sounds amused. “You didn’t tell me that was on the table, Mia.”
“It’s not, Luke. Now tell me why you were so nervous when you called me. You’ve got me worried.”
“So, you know how we said I’d be there a week early?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s not going to happen right now.” He looks nervous. “I’m so sorry. I really wanted it to happen, but my boss came into the office, and I’m in the middle of this big deal, and I just can’t get away for that long.”
“It’s fine,” I say, though disappointment courses through me.
I love Luke. I’ve always loved Luke. He’s been my best friend forever, but sometimes, I feel like he takes my friendship for granted. Sometimes, I feel like I come last to everything else in his life. Sometimes, I just want to be a priority. But I don’t want to be that girl. It’s not like we’re really dating. I don’t want to be the girl who gives ultimatums to her best friend like some sort of loser. I want him to choose our friendship above his job because that’s what he wants, not because I make him.
“You’re not mad at me, are you? You’re not going to kill me?”
“Of course not,” I say. “Why would I kill my fake boyfriend?”
I pretend to laugh and shrug it off, and he grins into the phone.
“Thank you. I knew you would be understanding. We’ll figure it out when I get there.”
“Yeah. It’ll be fine. I’m sure no one’s going to ask lots of questions that we won’t be able to answer. It will be cool.”
“You’re mad,” he says, his eyes narrowing. “Mia, tell me the truth.”
“I’m fine,” I say. “I have to go now though because Summer is really excited to get to the bar, and so is Silvie because she’s going to see Cal.”
“Why did you say that?” Silvie says quickly with a defensive tone. “I never said I was excited to see Cal.”
