But I’m not going to push it because I know patience is the answer. Patience is the only thing that can make this work.
I don’t really understand why she’s nervous. I don’t really understand what is keeping her from fully embracing a life with me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m wealthy and I’ve told her that I’d like to support her. I’m happy for her to keep her independence. I just have to let her know that. I need her to know that I don’t want to take anything away from her. I just want to give her more, show her more, be more.
But I will have to be patient because I don’t want to upset the delicate balance that exists between us.
“I love you, Mia,” I say as I stare into her eyes.
She smiles and stares back at me. My heart stills, frozen in time for a moment, as I fear she’s not going to say anything back to me.
“I love you too, Luke.”
“You love me?” My heart soars. “Or you think you love me?”
“I love you. Of course I love you.” She strokes the side of my face. “I just don’t know. I feel like we belong together. I feel like every moment with you is like the best day of my life. I don’t know if this is just a fantasy though, Luke. We’re in this gorgeous hotel room. We’re getting to spend every day together. We’ve sort of just taken our friendship to anew level, and it’s exciting and new. But I don’t know if we can exist in reality, being such different people.”
“I’m imagining my life with you, Mia. I’m imagining you as the mother of my kids. I want it all with you, and I know you want to get married. I know you want to have kids because we’ve spoken about this for years.”
She strokes the side of my face. “Have you ever thought that you would be the father of my kids?”
“I don’t know if you want to know the honest answer to that. I don’t want you to think I’m crazy.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy, but what does that mean?”
“It means that I can see you in New York. I can see you living with me. I can see me going to work and coming home and you being there. I can?—”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong, Luke,” she says, pulling back from me. “I don’t want to be in New York.”
I can see the dismay in her eyes. I can see that she’s pulling away, that she really doesn’t think it can work. She’s not going to push for it like I want to push for it.
“What about England? What if I choose to go to England for that job?”
“I don’t want to go to England. I don’t want to go to New York. I love Coconut Beach. This is my life. This is my home. My friends are here.”
“But I’m your best friend.”
“You are my best friend, but I need more than just you, Luke.”
“My love is not good enough?”
“I could ask you the same thing. My love’s not good enough for you to just stop putting that job first? You can’t find another job somewhere else?”
And then, suddenly, it clicks.
This is about my job.
I stare at her. “This is about my job?”
“Of course it’s about your job. I’ve been telling you it’s about your job.”
I didn’t get it. I guess I heard the words, but I wasn’t processing them.
“You think that the job is more important than you? Really, Mia, how could you think that?”
“You haven’t been back home in five years. You haven’t invited me to New York. You didn’t even come early when you were supposed to because of the job. You’ve disappeared different times on this trip because of the job. I feel like whenever we’re getting closer, you have to go because of your job, and I just don’t want to be second fiddle to your job.”
I stare at her, finally understanding what she is feeling, what she has been experiencing, and I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated because I’ve worked my entire life to get to this place, and I’m so close to getting to the next level. I’m so close to achieving all my dreams and finally showing everyone in my family—especially Rex—that I am the better brother.
And then it hits me.
