I press my lips together because the fact of the matter is, I did think that she wanted that—but from the look on her face, I don’t think she wants me to say that to her right now.
“I’m so insulted. I just feel like you just don’t care about me or respect me at all.”
“It’s not true. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about London. It’s not because I didn’t care what you would think. I haven’t even decided if I’ll take the offer. I just felt like there were bigger things going on between us that I wanted to talk about. And you have to be honest, Mia—you’ve been really upset every time I’ve had to work. I really didn’t think you would want to talk about my job.”
“So, this is on me now? You’re blaming me because we had sex and I got upset that you weren’t in the bed, waiting for me when I woke up? And so you didn’t tell me you’re moving across the fucking country?”
She pauses. “Actually, it’s not even the country. It’s the world. You’re moving to the other side of the world.”
“I’m not necessarily taking the job. Look, I realize I should have told you, and I normally would have told you, but we haven’t been in the most normal of circumstances recently.”
“This was a mistake, wasn’t it?” she says. “We fucked up. We never should have pretended that we were dating. We should have both just attended as singles and just kept our friendship.”
“And what, never kissed, never touched, never made love? Do you regret it all?”
“No,” she says softly. “I don’t regret it. And that’s the worst part. What I regret is what it’s reduced us to. We’ve spent decades, Luke, sharing everything with each other, being there for each other, and yet now I feel there are secrets and lies between us, and I can’t even really tell you how I feel because—” She chokes slightly, and I can feel my heart constricting.
“What are you saying, Mia?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying, but I think that this is not the time or the place to have this conversation. I don’t wanteveryone to think that this was fake, right? We didn’t do all this and practically ruin our friendship for us to get found out at the last moment.”
“Do you think our friendship is ruined?”
I reach to grab her hand, and she pulls it away.
“I don’t know, Luke. I don’t know anything anymore.”
chapter twenty-four
Mia
The room feels cold, like I’m in Antarctica or the North Pole or something. I can’t stop my body from shivering. I don’t know how long I’m going to walk around the room with this fake smile plastered on my face.
I can see Juniper darting glances at me every few moments, and then when she’s not looking at me, she’s looking at Rafe like there’s something there, and I wonder if there is. I wonder if another one of my best friends is keeping secrets from me. I want to ask her, but I’m so caught up in what I’m going through with Luke that I don’t even have the energy.
I watch Wendy and Carter dance around on the dance floor. She’s laughing at something he’s whispering to her, and I’m happy to see her so happy.
Cal is standing in the corner, looking slightly awkward as he chats with Silvie, and I wonder what their relationship is like—being fake married couldn’t be any better than fake dating, but they didn’t have the history that Luke and I had. I am curious if they are actually falling in love or if they are able to keep that distance between them. I’ll have to speak to Silvie and find out. Maybe we are in closer situations than I thought.
And then there is Summer standing there—beautiful, ethereal—and Dayton is just staring at her. He is an intense man, handsome as all could be, and I can feel how much he wants her. We all can. But Summer seems oblivious. Maybe as oblivious as I was to the fact that Luke had been keeping secrets from me.
I feel like a bit of a fool. I feel like my entire friendship with him has been a farce, and I feel guilty because it isn’t like he is the only one who has been holding things back. He doesn’t know that I love him. He doesn’t know. That’s why I am probably acting crazier and more emotional than I would normally be. He doesn’t know that being with him, being around him, makes me feel things I’ve never felt before in my life.
My heart freezes as I notice him heading back to me. There’s a cautious expression on his face, like he’s scared I’m going to shout at him again.
I feel slightly taken aback when he offers me a small box.
“I come in peace,” he says, handing it to me.
“What is this?” I can’t help but smile.
“I know you like parties and you like gifts, so this is a little gift from me to you.”
“What is it?”
“Open it and see,” he says.
I open it slowly, and then I stare at the most beautiful silver bangle.
