“Really?” Kelsi gasps, tears of happiness in her eyes.
“Yes, see those three lines?” The doctor points at the screen. “They confirm it.”
My eyes leave Kelsi’s face and go to the screen.
Kelsi is officially halfway through her pregnancy. She’s twenty weeks today, which means an ultrasound. We saw the baby when she first found out she was pregnant, but the baby was only a blip on the screen. Now she’s bigger. She has a head and a body. I can see her fluttering heart. Her legs and arms. It’s as if she’s a real person.
“Did you hear that, Ethan? We’re having a little girl,” Kelsi gushes.
“I heard,” I tell her, my eyes flitting between the screen and her protruding belly.
“I hope she has your eyes,” she says through a watery smile. While her eyes are a bright green mossy color, mine are boring brown.
“My eyes are just brown,” I point out.
“They aren’t just brown,” she argues. “They’re bright and refreshing...” She takes my hand in hers. “Like nature after it rains. When everything has been cleansed. Like a fresh start.”
I swallow thickly at her description. Kelsi comes from a fucked up home. Her dad is a crackhead and her mom is a prostitute. When we met in school, she admitted she hated going home, so I brought her home with me, and my mom doted on her like the daughter she never had.
Kelsi continued to come over every day until she was at my house more than her own. Then one day when she did go home, she found out her parents were gone. Literally gone. They left without their own daughter to God knows where. Instead of Kelsi being upset, she was relieved.
We packed up her clothes and a few items that were important to her, and I brought her back to my house. Of course my mom told her her home would be with us. The first official night she moved in, we lay in bed and Kelsi told me I was her second chance… her fresh start.
“That’s what this baby is, Ethan,” Kelsi says. “Our fresh start.”
“Ethan,” Nevaeh says, shaking me from thoughts. “Are you okay?”
My heart is beating against my rib cage, and it’s hard to breathe.
“Ethan,” she repeats.
I swallow thickly, pushing my emotions back into the tiny box I keep safely tucked away. “Yeah, I just remembered I have work I need to do at the club,” I say, climbing out of bed, so I can get dressed.
“You’re leaving?” she asks, sitting up. “Right now?”
“You’ll be fine here.” I throw on a collared shirt and slacks, thenslip on my socks and shoes. I usually only go to the club in a suit, but I don’t have time. I need to get the hell out of here. “Don’t wait up.”
The minute I get to the club, I regret leaving. Sure, Nevaeh will be safe at my dad’s place. I set the alarm, and if anyone were to enter, it would notify me and the police immediately. But it’s not because of her safety I’m regretting leaving. It was the confused and hurt look on her face. She’s been through so much in such a short time and she needed me, but instead I left her. Although, it’s probably for the best. She came into my room to feel safe, to be comforted. And I’m the last person she should be depending on for either of those things.
My thoughts go back to my flashback of Kelsi smiling and happy, calling me and our baby our fresh start. She was the last person to depend on me to comfort her, to keep her safe—and I failed. Badly.
I can’t do that to Nevaeh. I need to figure out what Logan is up to, so I can stabilize the threat to Nevaeh, and then I need to let her go, so she can be free. Be safe from me. I’m nobody’s white knight and it’s best she realizes that now.
THIRTEEN
NEVAEH
Blaire: Your mom has called me fifteen times in the last week looking for you. I don’t know what’s going on with you but you’re going to need to give her something.
I stare at the message on my phone, unsure how to respond. On one hand, I feel bad my mom is worried about me. It’s been almost a week since our argument and my disappearance. We left things on a bad note. I know she’s worried about me, about why I’m avoiding her, why I quit my job with the youth group. Why I up and left to a beach house nobody has ever heard of or been to. She has no idea her son is dead and never coming back. But on the other hand… I just don’t have it in me to care—not about my brother dying, but about everything else. My mom did this to herself. She lied about her life, and when she was confronted, she lied some more. She’s so used to me rolling over and obeying, she didn’t know how to handle it when I actually stuck up for myself.
I smile internally at the thought. Stephen would be proud of me. My heart clenches in my chest, and I reach over and grab the framed photo of us. I was shocked to find it in my suitcase Ethan packed for me.
Oh, Ethan… My entire body shivers at the thought of him. The way he guided me to my orgasm, letting me have all the control. The way my body reacted to his. He had me wound up as tight as a rubber band…until I snapped, losing myself in the moment. I’d never felt anything like that in my life. So taken care of and worshipped.
Afterward, when I came down from my high, I was worried it would be awkward. But it was the opposite. The way he picked me up and carried me over his shoulder to the bathroom. And when I told him I needed a moment to myself, he was a complete gentleman. For a little while, it felt like I was in some fairy tale, being swept up off my feet. Until I asked him about his tattoo, and everything went from light to dark. I saw the look in his eyes flash from hurt, to pain, to hollow—his emotions literally turning off right in front of me—and I instantly regretted asking him. But it was too late. And he ran. And hasn’t been back ever since.
Actually, that’s not true. I hear him come in every morning, but then he leaves a few hours later. He must stay just long enough to shower and change. But I can’t confirm that since he’s made sure we don’t cross paths. I would’ve been worried about his friend Logan showing up, but the morning after Ethan left, a man showed up with him and introduced himself as Rosco. He said he works for Ethan and his job is to protect me. When Ethan left, Rosco stayed. Hedoesn’t say much, other than to ask if I need anything. Honestly, if it weren’t for him being so big and imposing—I’m talking at least six and a half feet tall with muscle stacked on top of muscle—I wouldn’t even know he’s here. For such a big guy, he’s ironically quiet. He spends most of his time in Ethan’s office where he informed me the security cameras are located, only coming out long enough to eat when I make food and insist he joins me.
