The sparks.
I never felt them with Gerald. With Ethan, before all this went down, I felt something I’ve never felt before. For the first time, I’m sexually attracted to a man, and of course it’s to a dangerous guy like Ethan.
I take a moment to check out the room. The walls are a soft cream color with a light blue border running the length of the room. There’s a king-sized antique-looking bed in the middle, and a nightstand on both sides with a wooden bench in front of the bed. Without asking for permission, I walk closer and press my hand to the soft cushion of the bench. I notice a chest against the wall and turn to see a sitting area with two couches and a coffee table, complete with a fireplace. I imagine myself sitting in front of it with a book and a cup of coffee.
Across the entire west wall spans huge picturesque windows, giving me a view of the Atlantic Ocean. Ethan shrugs off his jacket and tosses it onto the bed. I watch in wonder as he takes the gun out of his holster and places it on the nightstand.
“What about my job?”
Ethan turns to me. “What about it?”
“I can’t just not show up.” Sure, I was planning to put in my two weeks, but I would never just leave my place of employment high and dry.
“Where do you work?”
“I’m an elementary school teacher at St. Juliana’s, and I run the youth program.”
Ethan stares at me for a moment, curiously, his eyes raking down my body, making me feel as though I’m on display.
“The last time I checked, I’m not forcing you to be here. However, if you wish to one day go back to your life, you’ll listen to me and stay put until I can figure out what to do with you.” He walks over to the dresser and pulls out a white shirt and a pair of black boxers.
What to do with me?I’m a problem. Nothing more than a difficulty. While I’m warring with myself over sharing a room with the man, he’s referring to me as a nuisance he needs to deal with. I guess I should be grateful he’s willing to deal with me instead of going along with Logan and selling me to the highest bidder.
I say nothing, only giving him a small nod, when he turns around and walks over to me. “Here, you can wear these tonight and we’ll figure out your clothing situation tomorrow. Take a shower, a bath, I really don’t care. Get some rest.”
That will never happen.
“Where will you sleep?”
Ethan’s lips curl into a half-smirk, probably fully aware of the dilemma that is racking my brain. “I thought we would share this bed.” He nods toward the bed.
“Umm…” I splutter, and he laughs, a full-on belly laugh, and for a brief second, he looks young and carefree and…beautiful.
“Chill out, Angel. I was just joking. I’m going to sleep in the guest room next door.” He leans in close to me and pushes a stray hair behind my ear, then whispers, “Don’t worry… your virtue is safe with me.” And with a wink that fills my tummy with butterflies, Ethan turns around, grabs some more clothes from the drawer, and walks out, shutting the door behind him.
Once he’s gone, I jump in the shower to rinse off. Grabbing the soap on the ledge, I squirt some into my palm, and his scent surrounds me. It’s masculine and rich, but not overbearing—fresh and clean. Great. Just what I need is to be trapped with this man’s scent all over me. I’m having a hard enough time dealing with my mixed emotions regarding him. There has to be something wrong with me. What woman in her right mind would be attracted to a man who has made it clear he’s not a good guy? Me, that’s who.
Good job, Nevaeh! When you decide to live life, you really give it all you’ve got, don’t ya?
There’s a creaking sound and I look through the glass to see Ethan entering the bathroom.
“What are you doing?” I screech, quickly covering my body with my hands and arms the best I can. “Get out!”
“Chill,” he says dryly. “I’m not here to play peeping tom. I’m leaving some bandages and cream on the sink for your wrists from the rope burn.”
My heart swells at his words. He brought me cream and bandages? Who is this man? One minute he’s all sexy, kissing me like crazy in the club, and then the next, he’s mean and growly, threatening me. And now he’s being accommodating and sweet. He is such a contradiction.
After I finish showering and applying the cream and bandages to my burns, I get dressed in the clothes Ethan gave me. Before lying down, out of habit, I drop to my knees by the side of the bed, ready to say my prayers. Only, for the first time, I stop myself.
Rising back onto my feet, I sit on the edge of the bed and thinkabout everything. Before I learned of my mother’s betrayal, before I saw my brother’s dead body on the floor, before I learned how evil this world is, I would’ve prayed to God, thanking him for everything he’s provided. But with all my new knowledge, I have no desire to thank him for anything. To converse with him in any way. And that thought makes my heart hurt. I was taught, it’s during our hardest times, we should seek the comfort of God, but I just can’t do it. It feels like the church and God and my mother are all wrapped up into one suffocating package, and in order to breathe, in order to live, I need to break free from all of them. I need to put myself first and live my life for me. It’s what Stephen wanted. It was his last wish before he died, and I’m going to do my best to honor him.
With the thought of Stephen on my mind, I lie down in bed and sink into the mattress. I pull the blankets up to my neck and allow myself to cry once more. I’m trying so hard to remain strong because I know it’s what he would’ve wanted. But every time I’m alone with my own thoughts, my heart breaks all over again. Every time I close my eyes, I see him lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood.
After a couple hours of crying, until I’m completely stuffed up and can barely breathe, I get up and blow my nose. My stomach growls, reminding me I haven’t eaten since this morning before I went to see my mom at the church. I consider whether I should leave the room to go in search of food and decide to risk it. If Ethan wanted to hurt me, he would’ve done it already. For whatever reason, he saved me from that Logan guy, so I need to trust him. Because right now, I don’t have many people I can trust.
I lift the covers, and my bare feet hit the soft, cream-coloredcarpeting. My initial thought is thatI hope Ethan doesn’t get mad at me for snooping through his kitchen for something to eat, but my second thought isOh well!He should’ve fed me, and I’m not going to be a prisoner here. None of this is my fault.
Tiptoeing out of the room, I tug on Ethan’s white shirt, which reaches the middle of my thighs. His boxers are rolled up to where they don’t fall, but because of having to roll them up, they might as well be another pair of underwear. They’re probably the shortest shorts I’ve ever worn. Blaire would be proud. Speaking of Blaire… I need to ask Ethan if I can use his phone so I can call her and let her know I’m okay. I should also call my dad, so he doesn’t worry, and the church so they know I won’t be coming back to work.
